Toddler and newborn...How??? Support thread?

[Suchanamateur]

I am in the very early days of having a newborn (9 days old) and an almost 2 yr old DS and am seriously struggling at the thought of DH going back to work in the next few days - for a number of reasons. I had a taste of it yesterday when DH had to go into the office, unexpectedly, for much of the day.

DS is an absolute joy and I totally loved the few weeks of maternity leave pre DD when we just hung out all week. But now he is in total Mummy rejection mode and terribly teary. Utterly understandable but quite upsetting.

DD is a sweet little froggy newborn, doing froggy newborn things - eating, sometimes sleeping - and mostly at inconvenient times. I had a really awful time in the early months of my DS and the scars run deep (plus PND) - so every time I can get her to nap, I can feel huge waves of anxiety washing over me. I know they are different children, but I can't help project into a future where she doesn't sleep, night or day, and wonder how I will manage - I used to walk DS in a sling for hours and hours outside but that isn't an option with two of them. It was only at around 6 months when we did some sleep training that thing started to even out a bit with DS, and then got wonderful and I understood how you might actually enjoy being a mother. Six months seems an age away!

DD is currently cluster feeding without stop from about 5/6 until 10 ish. I can just about handle the clustering later in the evening, but I've got no idea how I handle DS dinner, bath and bed with a baby clamped to me and DS saying 'Mummy no' at everything..

I know pretty much the answer to all this is grit teeth, ride it through and this too shall pass. But wondering if anyone in a similar situation wanted to join in to help it pass? Or provide wise words and comfort from somewhere out the other side?

looby ow. mrsrvc you need some breaks coming yr way.

Possibly reflux-yes. Will talk to my dr at 6 wk check. But do all the reflux things- upright, raised basket etc (not that she ever sleeps there-reluctant cosleeper here.

Grumpla- with you on joyless. For some weird reason I always feel worse when DH around [sceptical]. Maybe more space to dwell on things, rather than just get on with it, and also because we have nothing that resembles a relationship right now. Also see him and DS having a riot together and frankly feel jealous and resentful. Full of the joys this morning, me.

Yes yes yes on seeing dh and toddler having fun and feeling left out.

Yes! Thats it exactly. It seems as though everyone except me still has fun with DS1. I just get sulks and smacked in the face. SNOTFAIR!!!

However my DH did get up with both boys this morning to give me a lie-in which has helped me feel slightly less homicidal stressed.

Mrsrvc get stocked up on cans of coke, little sips in between vomiting fits always helps me.

looby your knee sounds grim, is there any chance you could have something still stuck in there? Maybe give it a good swab out with Tcp or something?

Hope youse invalids are feeling better soon.

I've just realised I have actually got no idea what the real time is. Will my iPhone have reset itself automatically?

Got two very tired small people today as we've been swimming this morning. We're in Wales, so we get to have free family swims on a Sunday.I will make myself take them out to play after. A winter stuck in the house means that I'm desperate to get outside.

I think dd slept from 8-6 last night. I can't be sure, because getting up in the night is second nature now, but she might well have slept through.

I get the joyless thing - it was ages before I felt like I was getting any fun with either of the dcs - you do all teh hard stuff and everyone else gets the benefit - smiles, etc.

MRsrvc I find nibbling those Jordans Oat cereal bars tend to help when I've got a bad stomach.

Louby how about socaking it in the bath (I'm laughing too, people gave me loads of bath stuff when dd was born. I've stiilll not had a bath). Failing that, how about tea-tree oil? I stick it everyone and trust it to cure just about anything. Lavender will cure the rest!

Astro woo woo (although amused that you chat actually remember). Am really looking forward to taking the two DCs swimming. Used to go loads with DS until I became preggo whale, then DH took over.

Day perked up a bit as we went to British Museum where DS ran riot played, DD slept all time in sling and DH and I got to stare vacantly at walls while pretending to be soaking in culture. It's all about the getting out isn't it?

Grumpla yr iPhone should have reset. How's the cabbage boob diet working out?

Thanks for the tips to get my knee better everyone. DH is now so concerned he's offered to bike to Boots (the local pharmacies are closed on Sundays) and get me something for it. It does hurt all the time and is a bit swollen so I think I need to play it safe really.

Our attempts at bottle feeding today have both failed miserably. More chewing of teat, grinning and then grizzles. Will try again next feed...at least since his formula feed yesterday he's been taking better breastfeeds during the day...

Grumpla I think your iphone will have changed to the new time automatically, our ipad did (I googled to see what the time was just to be sure).

Mrsrvc flat ginger beer or lemonade are also good for a bad stomach (if it's still fizzy I put a small amount of sugar in to make it flat). Hope you feel better soon.

I smell... interesting. Pints of sage tea and cabbagey bra.

Lumps seem to be going down slightly so hopefully I am through the worst of it. There seems to be two schools of thought - ride it out all at once or pump small amounts to relieve pressure. I'm going to try not to pump - I was down to only about half an ounce each boob three times in 24 so hopefully that means I'm at less risk of mastitis etc than if I'd gone cold turkey. I just want it to be over now.

Museum is very adventurous! I'm impressed!

Still feeling rotten here. Thanks for the advice. Dh got me some dioralyte before taking ds to his parents. I've managed to sip a glass of that, but it's basically coming straight out the other end.
One positive is I've actually got to spend some relatively uninterrupted time with dd. I feel like I've neglected her so much. Today she has been cracking lovely smiles and kicking on her mat and just being lovely. Poor little thing has spent the best part of the last 9w asleep in a sling being ignored.
Q
Trying to stay calm about her dimple, very much helped by your positive stories.
Grumpla, ds has horrid reflux which he actually needed medication for, but it worked wonders and he transformed almost overnight once the meds kicked in. Definitely ask at the 6w check.

Looby, I hope that your knee gets better

Astr0 - great news re sleeping through! Although !!! How old is your baby?

Names wrong, stupid mn on iPhone!
Message before for grumpla, actually for suchan!

Grumpla, I'm sure you smell lovely.. (heaves again!!)

Yeah, before everyone starts eyeing their dcs balefully and crying, but why won't you sleep?

DD is 19 weeks (I think), so really should be sleeping stretches. I also think it was a fluke; either that or I was just so tired I didn't hear her.

Dd also hit a milestone today - rolled right over! Nappyless and naked on th e horrible cold floor of the changing rooms in the baths!

Spent the day outside again today. Ds was 'helping' a neighbour cut the lawn, then played with followed the kids on the close round. Dd spent the afternoon in her sling. Not sure how we're going to cope when the weather gets really warm though, didn't have a sling with Ds, so not sure how it works in warm weather.

Thanks mrsrvs - which meds did you end up with? We tried gaviscon with DS but didn't get in with it. Ranatadine seemed to work better for us but in the end I think time was what made the difference (DS used to scream and scream while feeding).

Was wondering that about babies and slings and heat. DS stayed in his Moby for much of the summer but it did get v hot and sweaty and prob not too good for him. In fact it was one of the impetuses for us doing some sleep training and getting a routine as the late summer heat and walking baby in sling for miles did my head in. I think there are some more open weave ones for summer which I'll try and check out and link to if I can get my phone to do it.

Sounds like those no 2s allowed out of their slings were making their presences felt today. DD firmly in hers today so no idea if she cracked smiles or hit milestones. Could be writing a novel in there for all I know, just surfacing for food and when writers block hits (cue frustrated screaming)..

Suchan - We also had gaviscon the ranitidine both of which did little. He then was put on omeprazole and it literally worked over night. No more puking, no more screaming. A wonder drug for us. Dd is a bit refluxy but so far nothing worth medicating. Gp kindly told me that it peaks at 4 months so it'll probably get worse. She slipped that in before the dimple.
Loving the idea of the little ones writing a novels in sling. Mine gives me some very knowing and often patronising looks so I wouldn't be surprised!

Hope you're feeling better now Mrsrvc

I'm just about to slurp a lovely glass of pink fizz so cheers all

astr0, we're in Wales and we don't get free family swims on Sunday! That I know of, anyway.

Sorry to read of illnesses in the ranks. :(

DS1 has also been ill today: all the hallmarks of teething but I was so sure he had all his teeth! I guess maybe the molars are having a bit of a shift. He's always had trouble teething - fever, vomiting, the whole shebang. At least the carseat cover has had a wash now. Sigh. On the plus side, DS2 has been really rather lovely today. All smiles and being Mr Smooth sucking up to my DPs...

Evening everyone.

Ds1 had reflux which we reduced quite well with gaviscon - I used to make up doses in advance, keep in the fridge and give in a bottle before each bf.

Went to see a mate and her 2wk old yesterday, which made me realise how grown up ds2 is at 7wks - reassuring in a way to be reminded that time is passing and the scary newborn stage DOESN'T last forever . Felt a bit guilty for bringing hurricane ds1 into their house though. He was half naked after vomming all over himself in the car, and v excited, managing to spill things, break a glass and generally cause chaos. At least he was cheery though....

Twinkle my DS1 had lots of teething after teeth! Several sessions of drooling, red cheeks, grizzly nights. I think you're right and it is the back ones dropping down fully into place - maybe as their jaw gets bigger?

Up with a very grizzly snotty baby right now, third waking so far, not surprising as the wee bugger slept for about five hours straight this afternoon! If only the feat could be repeated at night...

DH leaves tomorrow for two nights, I have MIL here now though, which is amazing.

I still don't know how you guys are managing all this single-handed, I've still only done one evening on my own (plus a few nights).

Right, DS2 has just burped and conked out so I'm going to wash up and sneak back to bed (although only after 1oz milk so suspect we will be back here in an hour or so...)

Good luck night shifters and early risers

... And here I am again... Can't even kick DH out of bed to deal with it as he has a seven hour drive tomorrow... Grrrrr

Up every hour here too! Dd1 expected to join party at six. Woohoo!

Maybe I should go and finish that bottle of pink fizz... It's still the night time and therefore would be totally legitimate party-related fun, not terrible irresponsible daytime drinking before breakfast... right?!?

Oh if only. I really would like to be able to drink more than one glass I wine without it coming back to bite me on the bum when I have to get out of bed a few short hours later.

Bleurgh.

So no dd1 but up feeding again... First time dd1 has slept past 6.20 for months and I'm going to be awake?!
Seriously unfair.

Yes to the pink fizz grumpla! I apply the night time doesn't count rule to cakes normally..

Yeah, but it's only 5.30am really Pomme

I went with cake in the end. Only because my MIL is here

Duvet day today - I've come down with a massive cold and spent most of the night with massive headache trying to settle DS, so once again no sleep. Now on couch with coffee, blanket, snoring DS and Star Trek OS.

MW visited today and advised Infacol to help DS settle at night, as she thinks it might be trapped wind that keeps him grizzling after feeds. So will get myself to the chemist this afternoon.

Blessfully, DD is at her GPs so it's a fairly quiet day and my only immediate needs are to keep DS and myself fed and rested.

For the record, it must be said that DP was lovely yesterday and took double trouble out for a 3.5 hour walk into town, so I could catch up on some sleep.

Bump for singinintherain , apologies of you already found this thread and I missed you, welcome if not!