What do you do that 'perfect' parents would swoon at?

[Pagan]

Go on admit it here. Following on from the 'do you sterilise' thread, I'm sure there are lots of things that parents do that would horrify others. Let's keep this a lighthearted thread and no having a go at anyone who shocks you ....

Everything except eating in street (I do have standards you know)

my 4month ds spends a considerable amount of time in the car to get peace away from the other two! One evening he slept for ages and I thought I'd better get him in as it was almost pitch dark.

There are so many things that I hardly know where to begin. Just one that I did this evening was allowing ds1 to scrape out the custard carton with his bare hands..yuk.

Got to add this, even though it's not me. My friend's dd often falls asleep on the way home from nursey in the car. When they get home he lets her sleep on while he goes in the house. He knows when she wakes up cos the car alarm goes off!!

Snowgirl - do that as well. Well the car is in the driveway!!

Well tonight in his bath I was quite mean to DS. Have a plastic cup in there, which for the first time he realised was like a beaker. Was putting it up to his mouth to drink, so I filled it with cold, clean tap water. He drank some, spilled some and it shocked him. He looked and sounded so sweet, that I filled and refilled his cup, let him drink some, and 'let' him spill some on him (well ok, helped once!) just to see it again! Figured that it was teaching him to hold the cup upright.

He watches tele for periods of time sometimes when I decide to do some housework.

He now has chocolate.

We let him try a taste of cava on his 1st birthday That was DP, copying his sister and nephew, who was 7 months!

She, meanwhile, gives her baby (the 7 month old)crisps as a mid morning, breakfast replacement.

dd had a mince pie for breakfast!

Let my baby crawl through filth and mud.
I also let him crawl up the steps to the slide and slide down. Heheheheheeh!
So whadderbowtit then? Wotcher gonna do?

Actually I have been encouraging DS to crawl up the three flights of stairs to our flat so I can carry shopping and not do two trips. On our post checking missions he goes up and down no probs at all - yet, the minute I have my hands full of shopping he finds trying to climb through through the banisters, go through wrong doors, screws screwed into the steps all intensely fascinating, else he sits and refuses to move. Typical man

Breastfed and smoked simultaneously(once,but the shame still haunts me....)

Moondog, I am officially a fruitcake.

AKA sansouci. Ha! Cruel joke of a name.

So I gathered!!

At least fruitcake is closer to reality!

Have 1 ds, 2.6.

Provide malt loaf for breakfast ("Breakfast cake")

Give a cup of tea instead of a cup of milk if giving the cup of milk would mean I don't get a cup of tea. And I put sugar in it.

Give him crisps in shops when I am trying to gossip in peace.

Hide the books I don't like reading because they are, IMO, overeducational for his age and dull as ditch water. These include Postman Pat's ABC, and Count With Thomas.

Wriggle out of key tasks, like bathing, by saying "Daddy's going to do X now, go and get him"

Let him watch FAR too much TV, although it's appropriate aged.

He is still in a cot, although he climbs in and out as and when he pleases, and has done for months.

Haven't potty trained him, and haven't tried.

Get him to say things like "Hippopotamus party" and "The court of King Caractacus" for my pure amusement at what he does to a sentence like that (Although I always say Very Good!)

Lie in bed on school mornings and let the older dd and ds's look after the younger 2 and give them their breakfast whilst trying to get themselves ready and then only speak to them to say goodbye when they are on the way out of the door to school.

Didn't take my son in to A&E today when he had that non-blanching rash. But this has happened before and I know what it is.

Oh god, colditz, I frequently give dd cake for breakfast and I see it as least she's eating something.

Nothing wrong with malt loaf!

Nothing wrong with malt loaf!

DS went outside this morning with no shoes on

Stopped sterilising at 4 months, simply becuase I couldn't be arsed

fashioning DS's hair into ridiculous styles purely for the amusement of myself and DP

Gave him chocolate at 9 months old (that was my mother's doing)

Let DS play with empty crisp/biscuit wrappers

Let DS lick the filthy unwashed since last christmas kitchen floor

Give NON ORGANIC food to him. I bet that's the one that will shock most!)

I used to tell DS (who was a big Michael Jackson fan) that Michael Jackson used to give his mum the birthday cake in the party bag after he'd been to parties just so that i could eat it.

I used to work about half an hour drive away and ds's nursery was near work. I would get him out of the bed straight into his car seat and then on they way home stop in a layby to brush his teeth as he fell asleep and then carry him to bed.

hmmm well as I type - DS2 is asleep in his cot (oh and he was bottlefed too - and still has one bottle of milk before bed - he's just turned 2). DS1 is sat on the end of our bed playing V-Rally on the playstation (he's 5).

Am entertaining DS by throwing soft ball down room and shouting "run run run" as I'm reading this. He's only 18 months. Maybe I should have got a puppy.
Also all the food sins - formula, cake, still has two bottles a day, advent calendar chocs - btw does actually eating them yourself and saying the day was empty count as bad parenting?

Oh yes, and I always warm the bottle in the microwave.....