What do you do that 'perfect' parents would swoon at?

[Pagan]

Go on admit it here. Following on from the 'do you sterilise' thread, I'm sure there are lots of things that parents do that would horrify others. Let's keep this a lighthearted thread and no having a go at anyone who shocks you ....

And drank coffee and the odd alcoholic glass during pregnancy. And shell fish and cheese.

Thought of another one:
Never get dd to wash her hands before eating. Always thought a few germs would do her good

Hmm...can hold hand up to jars, fingers in wine glass for tasting, minor drinking in pregnancy, quick scrub of precious dropped rice cake on front of fleece and handing back, regular "pramfasts" (LOL Enid) of ricecakes and indeed frequent eating in the street, Babybel for breakfast on demand (even dh doesn't know about that one), plenty of telly including Simpsons for ds aged six and Jackie Chan for dd aged only two, not reprimanding consistently for mega nosepicking habits...

Can't actually believe any parents would be horrified by this stuff - I am guilty of nearly everything mentioned so far & I view myself as pretty near perfect

Nah, my kids don't wash their hands before eating.... unless they are visibly filthy!

Wipe ds's snotty nose on my sleeve.

Swearing rather loudly and dd repeating it back to me and laughing

All of the above/below (or at least that's what it feel like sometimes!)

dd has taken to saying "Go quicker mummy" and " silly women" whilst we are stuck in traffic. I have given up trying to stop her and merely say "it's a man" if it's not a women in the car in front.

I have managed to stop myself saying "Silly women" when people are driving badly though

Turn CBeebies on first thing in the morning whilst I have a cuppa.

Go to McDonald's.

Let her have an advent choccie every night - well, they are my homemade truffles

Spoonfeed milk to ds1 (4 in Jan). Dh thinks I'm mad.

Spoonfeed milk to ds1 (4 in Jan). Dh thinks I'm mad.

All of the above! And DS is in the bath now while I am on here!

Nutella sandwiches for breakfast - if I get him to eat a Babybel as well I feel less guilty!

Shouting at him loud enough to frighten him.

Watches unlimited TV - but only Nick Jr.

-have a filthy house
-have bare crumbling plaster walls because we can't afford a decorator and dh and I never get around to it (I see the shock in other parents' eyes when they walk in!)
-let them watch TV I've recorded that's far too old for them
-be annoyed that I had to sit through 45 mins of nativity play to see dd walk on stage and then walk off (she was a guest in the inn)
-always bring treats for after school

sit upstairs when both children are downstairs because my laptop is buggered and I fancied an MN fix

pop children in front of tv

don't care if they eat or not .. they'll eat if they're hungry (or is that a good thing?)

Let them watch far too much TV!

Ive done all of these bar getting drunk.

(just typed a few more, then deleted them as was too ashamed to post)

Is pramfast a new word copyright Mumsnet? My childrens favourite meal needless to say.

Got rather drunk when they are asleep and I'm on mumsnet!

Puked in my hands in a cab!
(My claim to fame!!!!)

pramfasts

think of me everytime you do it please

pass the sausage rolls Enid

Allow DS (4) to smoke weed occasionally
Send him out without his shoes to beg when money runs short
Take Ds to doctor in order to get free prescriptions for anti-histamines which I then take when my hayfever is bad
Allow Ds to steer the car - but only when we are on side roads and dping less than 60mph
Leave Ds naked in the paddling pool in the park while I nip to the cafe on the other side of the hill for half an hour
Teach DS to get his small hands inside a shop letterbox and rmove small goods through it.

Well thats ok Blustocking - at least you haven't given him your crack pipe. Now that would be irresponsible.

Am guilty of nearly everything on here except Macdonalds. They have only had Burger King.

love the 'wiping snot on my sleeve'

I had to use my bare hands to wipe snot from ds's face the other day, then wiped my finger on a stone wall, and spotted an old lady looking on - God knows what she thought - I sped along to the bus stop, head down...

Just wondering how far Pagan's encouragement that we should "keep this a lighthearted thread and no having a go at anyone who shocks you ...." would hold!