help me find a good, sharp, put-down to answer these horrible people

[nailpolish]

I AM SICK FED UP of people saying to me (but more to dh)

"dont you want to try for a boy?"

and to me

"does dh not want a boy?"

WE ARE QUITE HAPPY WITH OUR 2 GIRLS thanks very much

dh got upset the other day when his childless friend said "i only want a boy" "are you not disappointed you dont have a son?" (this man and his wife are ttc are the moment, god forbid they have a daughter

i need a good answer to people when they say these horrible things

i usually just end up giving them death-looks and daggers, but cant think of what to say

oh this is tiresome isn't it. I am the youngest of five girls and I used to hear people saying this to my mum ALL the time when I was a kid. Everyone just assumed that they were trying for a boy when in fact it was just plain sloppy behaviour on their part (my mum was 41 when she had me; I was a little surprise). Apparently the day I was born my dad walked into the pub and one of his friends shouted "oh sorry to hear it was another girl, harpsichordcarrier's dad" (yes that was his name) and my dad just walked straight out again, he was so annoyed.

LOL at telling people you are hoping for a puppy...

TBH I think people jsut say these things as a way of making small talk, not because they really pity you for having children of one sex. It is like when you say to someone "lovely weather we've been having lately" and some idiot comes back with "Well we could do with some rain for the garden really". It is just small talk FGS. It doesn't mean much.

TBH I think people jsut say these things as a way of making small talk, not because they really pity you for having children of one sex. It is like when you say to someone "lovely weather we've been having lately" and some idiot comes back with "Well we could do with some rain for the garden really". It is just small talk FGS. It doesn't mean much.

TBH I think people jsut say these things as a way of making small talk, not because they really pity you for having children of one sex. It is like when you say to someone "lovely weather we've been having lately" and some idiot comes back with "Well we could do with some rain for the garden really". It is just small talk FGS. It doesn't mean much.

• just felt like reinforcing Lonelymum's practical take on the matter

and to add, what a shame that people making conversation and taking an interest - albeit perhaps making some ham fisted remarks - is regarded this way....

sorry for repeating lonelymum's comments like a mantra, but it does concern me that people are getting less and less inclined to pass the time of day / chat with strangers etc.

...i actually quite like it if a dear old lady strikes up conversation with me in a supermarket queue, even if she does say something like;

"clever you, one of each" or something equally silly (but essentially innocuous IMO)

HMC, yes, we always get from strangers "you've got your hands full there love" (especially when I have 2 year old neice as well as my 3). DP hates them saying this but I just agree with them.

you're right of course hmc. chit chat makes the world go round. I seem to spend most of my day talking with old ladies about how gorgeous my dd, how huge my bump is, what we're having for tea...

When I am asked personal questions I always reply by asking them a decoy question, something like "have you been eating onions?" or "is there a funny smell or is it me?" or "did you get that dress at C&A? My Mum had one just like it" or "do you always ask personal questions?" Don't ever feel you should dignify the question with any sort of answer, just have fun throwing it back at them.

then again I'm just horrible

just say your hoping for a hemaphrodite to keep everyone happy

or you can say "I'm hoping for a girl, I never know what to do with willies". That's quite effective I find.

hmc, i find they sometimes are just making conversation, but people have to realise a throwaway remark can be hurtful. and im not a sensitive person really

i mentioned earlier that direct comments were made by dh's friend that were hurtful - and these were not throwaway comments, believe me

i DO get little old ladies saying silly things in the shop, that are little conversations starters, i can tell the difference and i usually just smile or make conversation back

Yeah the little old ladies are usually fine (In Somerset it was always havent you got your hands full, here in Wales it is always aren't you lucky- ).

Worst comment i ever got, when DS1 was small (weighing about 5lbs) in his buggy was 'Is he going to die then?', closely followed by all the 'oh so you're a smoker then?' ones.

No, I don't smoke and he's not dying- he'd hardly be in the town centre with me if he was, would he? I had pre-eclampsia, he didnt grow fast and his milk allergy made his weight gain slow, OK?

Except I said 'oh no we're fine, he's just a bit diddy'.

Wish I'd sworn at them now

Its a bit like the old saying 'do you know what it is?' when you are pg. I used to say 'well, Im hoping for a baby'

I have one DS and all we have had so far is 'will you have any more?'. It really bugs me!

As for the comments of 'trying' for a girl/boy, unfortunately, no-one gets the bloomin choice - as my Mum used to say 'you get what you are given!!'

Regardless of whether you want another baby of either sex, turn round to them and say 'well, we have only been having sex recently where I have my legs wrapped round my neck shouting yeehaa. Could you tell me if I should try another position, which one gives a higher percentage of boy producing eggs and sperm?'
Hopefully they'll acuttle off embarressed and never ask again.

Peachyclaire at is he going to die! Can't BELIEVE would say such a thing!

I do see your pov nailpolish....

We had one dd. When trying for the next baby, had this daft idea of doing all the weird things to see if we could have a boy to find out if the theories worked. We did really really well - and had twin girls (and were very very happy).

Dh got very cross with people, who asked in front of our children, "bet you wish you'd had a son." Er, no.

Yes, although I secretly want a little girl, ( only telling all of mumsnet, LOL!) I would NEVER say this in front of my boys! It annoys me when other people do without regard for their feelings. Ds1 says he'd like a sister but I just say, "But we like boys here!"

I remember people sympathising with my dad, in front of us three girls, that he didn't have any boys. Because they assumed he wouldn't share his very blokey hobbies with boys. Sexist pigs. And cruel - how the hell did they think it made us feel?

Luckily we knew my father adored having three girls (he was a bit of a crap dad, but good on that point) and he dragged us all over the country sharing his hobby. Used to really wind the boys up at school - they were dead jealous.

I have two girls and people have said this to me before. We do want to have more kiddies and they have said to dh "maybe you'll be lucky this time". He has said in the past to strangers "well actually my wife needs more girls to have more workers in her brothel" that made them F%£$ off quickly