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Original poster

help me find a good, sharp, put-down to answer these horrible people

144 replies

nailpolish · 27/09/2005 11:05

I AM SICK FED UP of people saying to me (but more to dh)

"dont you want to try for a boy?"

and to me

"does dh not want a boy?"

WE ARE QUITE HAPPY WITH OUR 2 GIRLS thanks very much

dh got upset the other day when his childless friend said "i only want a boy" "are you not disappointed you dont have a son?" (this man and his wife are ttc are the moment, god forbid they have a daughter

i need a good answer to people when they say these horrible things

i usually just end up giving them death-looks and daggers, but cant think of what to say

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ggglimpopo · 27/09/2005 17:32

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staceym11 · 27/09/2005 17:58

iv got a dd (11mth) and am ttc #2, i would like a boy, but acctually as long as the baby is healthy and happy i really really dont care! its not like id love a girl any less. am aiming for three and dont care what they are (gotta convince dh on the third one yet tho!)

dot1 · 27/09/2005 18:03

My mum's always going on about wanting us to have a girl, 'cos we've got 2 ds's. Things like "boys will leave you when they're older - girls always stay close to you but boys don't...". Cheers then. I love having 2 ds's, and if we ever had a 3rd (WHICH WE'RE NOT..!) I'd love another boy! Or a girl - can't believe anyone would be disappointed...

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blueteddy · 27/09/2005 18:07

I got loads of remarks when pregnant with ds2, along the lines of "Are you going to make this one a girl?" (Like you can!!!) & "Oh, you have to have a girl this time!"
I always said that I didn't care what I had & would just be grateful of a healthy child.
I would also say that I adored the little boy that I had, so it would be lovely to have another one!
I now tell people that I think it is great to have 2 same sex children, as they share the same interests etc.
The doctor, who performed dh's vasectomy, even said "Well are you sure you don't want to try for a girl?" Like you can just order one!
Don't let them get to you!

lockets · 27/09/2005 18:21

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blueteddy · 27/09/2005 18:23

That is terrible lockets!
What a t*sser!

lockets · 27/09/2005 18:25

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compo · 27/09/2005 18:46

my sister has just had her 2nd baby, and 2nd ds, and often people just make small talk saying things like 'will you try for another one in the hope of a girl' and it honestly hasn't bothered her so far. On the whole most people have said lovely things like 2 boys close togther will play great togetehr when they're older etc etc. She just finds it nice that people are interested in her family.

Tortington · 27/09/2005 19:52

i have THREE children - often forgotten this small fact.
i have a boy ..he is 15. i have twins a boy and a girl aged 12.

and used to get awwww one of each that must be nice.

often in front of 3 year old ds.

at the time i never said anything becuase i was a shy retiring wallflower type.

lockets · 27/09/2005 19:54

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earlyraisin · 27/09/2005 20:32

as a mum to 2 boys I'm dreading sweaty jocks and trainers, as well as finding other things under the bed when they get older - you could just say "sweaty jocks" and walk off.

handlemecarefully · 27/09/2005 21:01

Snort at custardo being a shy retiring wall flower type - yeah right!

FairyMum · 27/09/2005 21:03

I have 2 boys and a girl, but my friend has 5 boys and I have never thought she must want a girl. What a stupid thing to say. Some people are idiots.

muppet73 · 27/09/2005 21:05

my dh and I have been together for years and married 6 years but started to try for a baby 18 months ago - we have spent the first 5 years of our marriage being fair game for anyone that wanted to ask when we were going to have children/start a family/were we having problems. Once after the millionth comment I actually said not likely at the moment as we dont have unprotected sex. No-one actually would ask about your love life or contraception choices so makes me mad when questions about trying for a baby are brought up.

We have always only planned to have 1 baby (never say never though!) but now we have dd it has been replaced with when are you having your next one!!

Can't win on this one I'm afraid everyone

muppet73 · 27/09/2005 21:07

I kind of think that hopefully its an older generation thing (carrying on the family name)and I dont say similar sort og thing to my dd or niece or nephew when they (or if) ever have kids!

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 27/09/2005 21:44

I am one of two girls and my sister has two girls and I have had two (but the second one died)

I am TTC and I know that if I get pg people will say I bet your hoping for a boy this time (this will be my last baby and sister is being sterilised)

The answer is I am hoping for a healthy baby.Its not mail order you know.

lou33 · 28/09/2005 01:35

just say it's none of your fu**ing business

Original poster
nailpolish · 28/09/2005 10:41

LOL muppet - when dh got married immediately people starting asking "when will you have a baby then?" to which dh used to reply

"well, we've been doing it bare-back for a while now so anytime soon it should think"

me and dh were having a right laugh at this thread last night (thanks everyone). dh's favourite line is

"she doesnt like it doggystyle"

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Original poster
nailpolish · 28/09/2005 10:41

mine is "F off"

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tortoiseshell · 28/09/2005 10:43

I say as long as it's one or the other I'll be happy - if not, then I really will complain!

But I'm now in the fortunate postion of having ds and dd, so I get 'I suppose you don't care what you have do you' or 'Why are you having another when you've got one of each?'

Fennel · 28/09/2005 10:53

I have 3 girls and consider myself extremely lucky. I think 3 of the same sex is great, I tell people that we are specialising.

but then as a raving feminist I can tell people we are attempting an all-female takeover of the world (apart from poor dp).

marthamoo · 28/09/2005 11:12

I got a Congratulations card from dh's work colleagues when ds1 was born. One of the woman there (two dd's) wrote it it, "Never mind - better luck next time!" Lord knows what she thought when I had a another boy

I just don't get this "trying" for a particular sex that people speak of - you can't!

PeachyClair · 28/09/2005 11:27

Ooh how familiar is this... I keep getting told what a shame it is I haven't got a girl (I have three LOVELY boys), my friend told me if she had even one boy she'd 'push it back in'. Hmmm, bet she wouldn't .

Yeah OK, a girl might be nice in the future if it's practical, but a 4th boy would be OK too. Babies are great, full stop!

It did upset me for a while, but someone I'd never met before asked me if I likde Barbies. I said no, I'd always hated them, even as a child. She looked at me, winked, said 'we all get what we're supposed to have' then walked off.

She was right.

Zephyrcat · 28/09/2005 11:31

for you NP. I have never understood why people do it. I'm pg with number 3 and we have a girl and a boy already and I'm already sick to death of people questioning why we'd have another when we've got one of each, upsetting the balance, having an odd one out etc etc. What's it got to do with them??????!!!!!!!

chipmonkey · 28/09/2005 11:32

I have 3 boys, and while I would like a girl (I'm shallow!) it is SO rude and unhelpful when people comment like that. Ds3's birth was very traumatic, my life and his were in danger, I count myself very lucky to have such a gorgeous little boy. In a shop the other day, one of the assistants said, " Oh were you trying for a girl and were disappointed?" And she's not the first to have said something like that. I do sometimes wonder, when I see someone with 2 or 3 of the same sex, whether they would like one of the opposite sex but I would never, ever ask or comment. Its no-one's business but theirs.