How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

because parents should protect their children

I don't know why vaunda is getting criticised so much for spending a lot of time with Karl..

A lot of it sounds good to me

But I would be a little more circumpsect on the grittier/traumatic news and events

Lonelymum, I won a free makeover and photoshoot. Was a great day.... i wouldn't pay the £300 for all the photos so was happy with the free one.

Zippi, I do also spend a lot of time with my 2 nephews BUT i wouldn't be as open with them as i am karl. 1 is only 23 months old and the other is 5 and he is not as interested in the things karl is. He is a livlier kid they have qualities the other doesn't if that makes sense.

yes

my verdict is...

Vaunda and Karl are who they say they are but Vaunda, you should try and hold off a bit on the gritty adult detail and find a few more friends of your own age - try and invite a few of Karls friends over whether he likes it or not.

My two cents, by Enid

Enid, the one reason I don't make personal remarks about a child is for that exact reason. Karl loves to sit and use the pc and often sits with me while i am on boards etc. People should really think that children can read these boards if they are near the pc and curb the criticism towards a child.

Oh God this is doing my head in.

Arghhh. I am so tired! Why did I waste my time last night on this really weird thread - it's all your (everyone who ws around at past midnight last night) faults!

Can't believe that a 7 year old would be up at midnight. That's worrying. I think that now Vaunda is making allegations about other children (how can she know MarsLady's sister and nephew btw? In a school of 250 there must be many David's surely?) we should all leave this thread well alone.

Although it has been fun (if weird).

Enid i have a wide circle of friends and only 2 of them are my age... the rest are a fair amount older. I can't stand the bitchiness of women my age in fact I can't stand bitchiness at all hence the reason most of my friends are male.

All children (and adults obviously) are different

and if he is quite an intense and thoughtful child no amount of pushing him in another direction will change it.

Some are joiners and some aren't

You are lucky being in london because there is so much to do and take part in and a lot is free..

But Vaunda you've insinuated that Marslady's nephew is a bully!! What if he were to read this... though I'm sure most children would find this site extremely boring!

Nooka, I never said it was marsladies nephew and as for there being many davids there are only 3. 2 are in the juniors and one in teh reception or nursery.

I didn't say I knew her sister. I did ask how davids sister was though as last yr she had a nasty accident in school when another child gave her an electric shock. (if of course this is the right david)

Steffe I have never said i was talking about marslady's nephew. I do know other people who post on this forum and i have met one of them. She herself says her son is spiteful in school. Ohhh dear steffe, your attempt at causing crap didn't work did it.

yep this is absolutely doing my head in too...

Vaunda - boundaries, darling, boundaries.

everyone else - lost cause! give it up!

Zippi, the most i can get him to do (playing for agesssssssss) is to play with his harry potter figures as he is mad about HP. has been since he was 3 and it was first released. Will be sad when it eventually comes to an end.
He isn't very happy at the moment as he has grown out of his HP mountain Bike and i can't get on ein the next size up for him....

Harps, he has boundaries. He is not allowed to swear, be rude, sit up past 9.30 (unless we are out or we are having a party)He is not allowed to watch certain programmes which i do not approve of. He is not allowed to whinge or whine, he has to ask and wait not demand things. He is not allowed sweets, or fizzy drinks.....
basically for all he is allowed to do there is a lot he isn't allowed to do.

As for the mountain bike tell him that they are supposed to look too small so that you can perform better on mountain runs

or even find a few piccies to show him

my ds has just taken his original frame off his bike and put on a mountain sport frame which i think looks mad but he assures me is the right size for off road racing (he is not seven but seventeen)

Ah yes, of course men are never unpleasant! Why is the age of your friends relevent? I would expect that they are mostly adults, and that their age is pretty much irrelevent.

With children relative ages are much more important. Because they are children, and have to go to school and get on with their peers, and because a couple of years can make a huge difference.

I can't believe that you have your child with you when you are on Mumsnet - he must be bored stiff (and you must have to watch the content quite carefully - how much fun is that?) I have a 6 1/2 year old and try very hard (this place is so addictive!) not to be on the boards when he is up. He deserves a better quality of child focused attention than half my mind, which is all I would be giving him if I was typing here (although I recognise that some peope are much better multi-taskers than me)

I'm not saying anything bad about your ds, nor have most people. I'm sure he is lovely. Your relationship is however, quite far from the norm, and some of the things you have said, or the way you have said them appear to many to be a little odd.

Now I am going to get on with my life!

Zippi lol he is getting a new bike for xmas, not much else left to get him to be honest. He has way too much but with uncles and aunts all over the place and 3 sets of grandparents he gets kinda spoilt.

crikey, this kicked off! Now, where's that bag of Maltesers............

Nooka if my son wants to sit with me while i am doing anything online then so be it. He likes to read what peoples opinions are. Nothing wrong with that IMO. He does have a few friends his own age but not many he has more friends that are older again his choice. As for my friends, yes men can be nasty but i get on better with them i also get on better with people a older than me than i do with people my own age.

Highlander no malteasers allowed unless i get some too.

bit early for alcohol don't ya think batters...well it is in my household.

Vaunda, I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about your boundaries. Are you happy with where they are?