Please help but please don't judge me

[helplessmum]

I'm a single mum and have a nearly 3 year old and I really can't cope. Please don't tell me I'm horrible but I hate being a mum and i really wish I could have her adopted, the only thing stopping me is the thought of trying to explain it when she grows up. I don't think i'm depressed, I'm happy enough with the rest of my life, I just can't handle being a mum.

nah he won't eat carrot cake (gluten free- and doesn't look "right" ) although at one time he would eat a banana bread thing I made.

ballpools/play areas/creche type thing would be good in a supermarket.

lol at the knee high shreddies!

We have a play area in our asda but its only for over 5's. They should definitely add one for babies too. The idea of finding some more parents to talk to sounds good, i'll see whats around.

Very glad other people go outside looking a state too!

the thing is (to be serious again...sorry, am totally irreverent), I find socialising with childless friends quite hard. Some of them are so hyper...so loud....so annoying!

I don't CARE about their new mobile phone....I haven't slept in days!

When we went out last week, one of my very sympathetic childless friends made some excuse to swap seats with me. She knew I had inadvertently been seated next to a girl who talks really loudly about, well, sod all. She knew I couldn't cope with that sort of NOISE after a hard day in the nappy bin

Now THATS a friend .

(she looked great though, the cow)

Are you near an Ikea? I think they let children in the creche from age 3. Even just an hour in the cafe by yourself would be a break. My dd (7) loves it, but sadly this year will be her last (too old) and she always makes a friend. On the crisp front Walkers Potato Heads are doing a new version called "naked" which have no salt.

Lol mogwai, sounds like a great friend. I don't find childless friends annoying so much, but they seem to have all the time in the world so they never get stuck in to chatting to you or being friendly, seems you have to spend hours every week with them to be friends and I haven't got that much time!

Great minds Fimbo with the Ikea thought.

i actually blow dried my hair the other week and put on a pair of earrings and people were commenting on how different and nice i looked. i felt ashamed that such a small effort could provoke a response. I look like shit all the time, i have no social life to speak of and no immediate prospect of things getting better. please don't think you are alone.

things I miss:

An hour in the bath

Having the time and money to moisturise my legs with stuff from Origins

Looking reasonably good

Going to the gym (being able to see some definition rather than FLAB)

Shopping on my own

SLEEP

Feeling "normal"

I often wonder "where have I gone?"

Sound familiar?

I'm about an hour away from my Ikea so haven't been since before she was born but might be worth a go. Thanks for telling me about potato heads, thats made my day (sad), I love them and so she always wants mine but has to make do with her hula hoops because the potato heads are too salty. Can't wait for the naked ones!

oh jesus, now I'M depressed.....

need to start a new thread "helplessmum feels better but I feel like shit!"

(joking)

mogwai, numbers 2-4 sounds especially familiar. I hate my skin but never have time to tend to it, hate my stomach but never have time to tone it!

I bought some from Tesco last night. They are not obvious and they stuck them on the bottom shelf shoved up next to the normal ones. Glad the posters here tonight have made you feel better . You should definately try Ikea - think of it as a day out.

ok here goes.. things i miss...

spontaneity
pubs
spare money for me
sundays in bed
independence
going to the loo alone

anyone else got any?

No, I can't have passed it on to you! Its just a trade off I suppose, mountains of stress and no you time traded for kids!

Feed your daughter entirely on Potato Head crisps for a month, have microdermabrasion with the money you save?

You will feel like a shit mum, but hey, you will sure LOOK good!

I don't miss anything. I was a miserable, lonely alcoholic before I met DH and had DD. Wouldn't trade a day w/them for all the lie-ins, spare money and nights out in the world.

a lie-in with alcohol....sounds like just the ticket for me and HM

Salt and shake crisps too- just remove the blue thing.

Jimjams-

gluten free carrot cake

Don't know how you make it look 'right' though- what does it have to look like for him to eat something? is it a colour thing?

All those awful hangovers. Those blackouts. The stupid things I did. Talk about no spare money - blew it all on booze and don't remember a thing.

No way!

I like a drink every now and again, but I like being fully in control of myself these days.

wow expatinscotland, thats a different take on it. Makes you realise single life isn't always as great as it seems.

I miss;

Looking after my body
Going out at night when I want
Eating lazily and alone
Finishing work and that being the end of my working day

fair enough expatkat....and don't get me wrong, i also wouldn't trade my boys for anything, but jeez there are times when i could do with a break and i feel like the me i used to be is a complete stranger to the me i am now. maybe i am a better person now, less selfish certainly but just sometimes i'd like to step back and feel ..youn again. i guess thats what it is , feeling young and not always being the grown up.