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Original poster

Please help but please don't judge me

166 replies

helplessmum · 07/09/2005 20:16

I'm a single mum and have a nearly 3 year old and I really can't cope. Please don't tell me I'm horrible but I hate being a mum and i really wish I could have her adopted, the only thing stopping me is the thought of trying to explain it when she grows up. I don't think i'm depressed, I'm happy enough with the rest of my life, I just can't handle being a mum.

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Nightynight · 07/09/2005 21:20

he he jimjams dont forget ketchup either

Katemum · 07/09/2005 21:20

Veggiemum!

Original poster
helplessmum · 07/09/2005 21:20

Yes, you're all making me laugh a lot! And nice to know other kids survive eating next to nothing. I'm thinking a bit more rationally now and I know I'll be so pleased and proud of her when she's older and it will probably all be worth it, if I don't burn out before then! Just need to remember that and stop getting stressed. if I could just stop her wailing, or put a mute button on her i think i'd be ok!

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madmarchhare · 07/09/2005 21:21

feelinglikeeveryoneoneelsehasatsometimemum?

notdoingtoobadajobactuallymum?

Katemum · 07/09/2005 21:21

You just need some earplugs

madmarchhare · 07/09/2005 21:24

I found ham in my hair half way round the supermarket after trying to get DS to eat meat the other day.

Funnily enough, he will eat fishfingers .

Original poster
helplessmum · 07/09/2005 21:24

jimjams - crisps are a marvel, without crisps and pasta she'd have withered away to nothing now. I was extremely relieved they brough back salt and shake crisps by the time she started on solids, so she could eat loads of crisps with no salt

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Jimjams · 07/09/2005 21:24

ketchup offends him Nightynight (big theatrical shove if it goes anywhere near him).

Honestly HM I ring my autistic friends several times a day- (eg today- fairly typical - rang frined with autistic dd twice, and spoke to a mother I have emailed occasionaly once-others in the same situation are the surest way to happiness

mogwai · 07/09/2005 21:24

anyway...single childless friends?

Give 'em five years, they will be COVERED in baby shit, bags under their eyes, looking a million dollars? Looking more like five quid!

Whereas you, shavedpitsmum, you will be sparkling in full face of Stila make-up, stylish hairdo, possible convertible car (ok, maybe not, but upstairs of the bus at the very least), laughing your pretty head off at their ineptitude with disposable nappies, sleepless nights and, yes, shit-splattered sweatshirts.

It's all behind you now - they have it all waiting for them - haha!

If you can't manage glamour right now, aim for sometime in the next five years!

Original poster
helplessmum · 07/09/2005 21:25

I went into the supermarket and she got my top covered in juice and I still just carried on round looking a state

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Jimjams · 07/09/2005 21:25

Oh I should try him on those- where are they from. He had one of those crisp carrot things they do in M and S as well recently. First carrot for 4 years (even if irt had been fried to death).,

friskyfeski · 07/09/2005 21:26

jimjams- carrot cake? heheh just had a piece and told myself it was one of my five a day!

Katemum · 07/09/2005 21:27

Your top was covered in juice, was that all? Went to work this morning not noticing that my trousers were covered in snot and soggy rusk, not a good look for a meeting. Juice is the least of my worries.

mogwai · 07/09/2005 21:27

that's NOTHING!

I actually went to Morrisons in the shit-splattered sweatshirt. I didn't notice until I got home.

Note to self....always check your clothes after baby has shat pants

And Morrisons!!! the Shame!!!!

Original poster
helplessmum · 07/09/2005 21:28

Hadn't thought about that mogwai, you're right. And I'll (jokingly) tell them all that they're complaining about nothing and how I found it really easy They do salt and shake in asda, and now they do hula hoops version of salt and shake too.

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Nightynight · 07/09/2005 21:30

yes, my babies had a few unsalted crisps in their time, I must confess.

mogwai · 07/09/2005 21:31

ok I have a great idea

you know how supermarkets have those afternoons when "old people" are encouraged in (ever tried shopping in your lunch hour behind an 80 year old lady who's hard of hearing at the bacon counter? I've actually abandoned a trolley and gone back to work it's so bad - I know, I'll be old one day....)

Well how about we get sainsbury's to have a "mum's afternoon"??

We could go in looking SO slovenly. Wouldn't even need to change out of the afore-mentioned sweatshirt, it would be worn with pride!!!

Original poster
helplessmum · 07/09/2005 21:31

Laughing now! Feeling a lot less stressed now. The main problem I think is that I love chatting to people and hate being on my own, but can't relax when i'm with my daughter so I miss the interaction. Do you feel you relax more with people with kids than with single people?

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laligo · 07/09/2005 21:31

there's nothing nutritionally wrong with fish fingers at all (at least not if they're made of fish)... fish is a great food and the coating is carbs (and a bit of colour - so what).

helplessmum it sounds as if you're doing great, but where you need help is with your feelings about yourself and solving the isolation problem. just talking to someone who understands can make the world of difference. also you may well find you feel closer to your dd as she gets older and easier for you to relate to.

alexsmum · 07/09/2005 21:31

sorry to come into this late, but jeez- everyone feels like this sometimes. i have a husband and i feel like this sometimes- i dream about a flat on my own and clothes with no snot on and the lovely life i would have. but when i'm feeling rational i realise that it would be crap without my boys.
you sound like you're just normal to be honest.get in touch with gingerbread and get doing some social stuff with other people who are single-it will be great!
and by the way-nought wrong with fish fingers...yum!

Original poster
helplessmum · 07/09/2005 21:33

A mum's afternoon would be fantastic, have thought about how good it would be if one day they had an special time where you got let in and then they locked the doors so you could just let your kids run riot while you got on with the shopping, and find them afterwards when they've caused havoc.

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mogwai · 07/09/2005 21:34

oh yes, HM

When my baby cries in a "childless house", I feel I want to run to the hills (or rev the car up and get outta there), but with other mums, well, all hell can break loose and we don't notice

The other thing is, your daughter can play with the other children, so the mums can have a good gossip in peace...

alexsmum · 07/09/2005 21:34

my dh regularly goes to work with snot on his tie by the way as ds2 has a habit of snuggling in and surreptitiously wiping his nose on it! and shreddies on his trousers at about knee height!

Nightynight · 07/09/2005 21:35

yes, definitely relax more talking to other parents, and find other socialising really hard going. Which is probably why Im sitting in the office reading mumsnet, instead of out in the big city finding myself another husband. (children are with dx)

mogwai · 07/09/2005 21:35

a "baby jail" in ASDA?

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