It's all gone wrong.

[ThanksForSpoilingIt]

I was thinking only yesterday wht a great substitute Mumsnet was for the social aspects of work which I no longer have access to.

Here I could have a chat, offer advice on a range of things from parenting to shopping whilst detouring through War. I could have a "drink" with friends without getting hungover and without consuming and empty calories. I could learn about Downs, Aspergers and Autism. Watch people go through the rollercoaster of IVF and come out the otherside. I could rejoice in the successes of other people's children, commiserate and comfort when things weren't quite so rosy.

Not, it would seem, any longer. I was happy to disagree vehemently with other people on hot threads and back those same people up on others. I was happy to ignore threads that held no interest to me and those I found offensive without feeling the need to jump on the people who were enjoying them. It's not a cosy substitute for "real" friends, "real" chat and "real" gossip any more. It sems we can't have fun without having to think twice and then twice again about whether someone might find it offensive, if it might make them uneasy, if they might not enjoy it... I look after the wellbeing of two small people in my day to day life. I don't need to be worrying about whether I'm keeping everyone here happy as well.

I agree Breeze, there isn't much point changing names - just somehow feels safer in today's aggressive environment. Now - how sad is that ?

I actually feel sorry for Justine, Carrie & Rachel, (& Tech of course!) having set all this up and working so hard for publicity recently then seeing all this going on.

Very sad indeed, i do hope that you don't go away, or if you do come back soon because I am sure that a lot of the problems that the chat have caused will soon die down as there is a new section. There was/is a lot of emotions running high on it both sides, and certain that they will settle down.

Why don't we all knock this thread on the head and get on with using mumsnet again?

Agree.

Me too.

Me three. See you guys on the happy side

Well said KS. Now moving onto another subject and being lazy and not creating a new topic can you tell me how your house move is going. I saw on a thread yesterday you may be considering staying where you are and rejigging the place. I'm just being nosy and you can tell me to bog off but I'm so interested on what your thought process has been and what you may have decided or at least hearing about it all as it goes along.

Selling at the moment is so confusing. I was reading The Times Bricks & Mortar this morning and one story seems to be saying that houses are still moving quite quickly and another says they aren't.

Cool. See you there and will look to get updates on that site. Isn't Sofia a godsend with all her inhouse knowledge.

Before this thread goes, and before I go too. I am an 'oldie' who has not posted for quite a while because of what has been going on. Before, Mumsnet was a community, there were chatty threads but these were not used exclusively by anyone, generally we all offered support and advice to each other, and problems were sorted out with lots of apologies. This time there seem to be a lot of new members registering all at the same time, they only seem to use the chatty threads. Other old members, such as Rhubarb and Custardo, who have always been supportive and genuine, have been got at because they dared to disagree with the new members, and I cannot see that anyone is even sorry about that. They have just disappeared, which makes a great loss for this site.
I have changed my name because I am too old for what I also see as bullying. I didn't want to get involved and still don't. I would much rather retire gracefully and not have anyone know about it. I hope all these new posters are not the same person, I hope they are all genuine. If you are, this is supposed to be a support site, not just a chat room. Mothers come on here because they need help, they are vulnerable. Not everyone wants to chat about banal and silly things, and tbh, this is also one of the reasons I am leaving. I never wanted to be part of a chat site, I just needed advice, support and friendship.
I suspect this thread is being called to close because people do not want to hear the truth. But if we feel Mumsnet has changed then we are entitled to say so. So don't be afraid to speak out, we are not killjoys or trouble-makers we just want to see a bit of decency and tact to make this site as supportive to mums as it used to be.

I am an 'oldie' too and couldn't have put it better myself. Thank you for your post.

Missingmumsnet, I still do not see what peoples problem with the chat bit is about. Mumsnet is still the same with a new heading now for chat.

I am a SAHM and get quite bored some days and love the chat threads as it makes me laugh and bring some entertainment into my sometimes boring day. I think mumsnet is great and people get different things from it then others, the advice I got regarding my smear thread was brilliant, people relating stories that made me feel a lot better about what is going to happen to me, then I popped into the chat thread to help take my mind off it. What really is so wrong with that?.

Breeze I agree. I work from home and sometimes feel very isolated, it breaks up the day to have a chat. I personally don't think that the supportive side of mumsnet has changed, everyone is still helping everyone and our shared experiences are very important.

As the "chat" is now separate, does that not mean that those who aren't interested in it can avoid it easily?

I would be very interested to hear your opinions on this mmm & mmm2, if you could maybe explain why this is such a prob then it might help those of us who don't feel like that understand why. I am in no way trying to be controversial or asking you to justify your feelings, I am genuinely interested.

sorry that should have been mmn & mmn2.

I don't see why you think this thread is going anywhere or being called to an end. If my post made you think that then sorry but that wasn't what I meant I was just being a bit lazy.

If you don't want to stay on mumsnet then that is your decision and no one can force you to be here. You say you don't want to get involved but by even posting your comments you have involved yourself and I for one much prefer to hear your views and express my opinion in relation to them than have you disappear with bad thoughts. By expressing my opinion about your post does not mean I am wanting to bully you or pressure you in anyway but as people have continued to say mumsnet is here as a discussion board which offers advice and differing opinions so that people can then make their own rounded decision.

Therefore, I want to say that I don't believe the members you mentioned have been got at by purely new members because they expressed their opinion. People have expressed their opinions on the comments of both Rhubarb and Custardo as each have the right to do. If Rhubarb and Custardo wish to leave then that is their right and I for one won't stop them. Mind you, I hope they don't.

I still find this to be a support site and in fact find that the chat threads do give me support in the form of relaxation and light hearted humour. You obviously don't and once again that is your right.

Just so you understand exactly where I am coming from in terms of finding the chat threads supportive, I have an extremely stressful job that keeps me awake most nights. I undertake very unpleasant tasks on behalf of a company whose ethics I completely disagree with. The chat threads, even though I don't post often, always offer me a release from the nasty world I am currently living in. Yes, I am trying to change this in terms of looking for a new role but until that comes along I look for relief and support elsewhere and I happen to find some of what I want on the mumsnet chat threads.

I was not calling this thread to close, and don't believe others were either because people don't want to hear the truth. Yes, you have the right to say mumsnet has changed and it probably has but isn't change a good thing. I agree, I don't believe anyone who says mumsnet has changed is a killjoy or trouble maker. I believe each have their view of how they want mumsnet to be and I respect you for airing your view.

But please remember that a chat thread may not seem supportive in terms of mothering but can offer support and friendship to some people as it does to me.

I hope you check in on mumsnet every now and then and at least lurk and get the advice you want on threads that may not be chatty. Good luck with finding a new site that will fulfill your requirements.

Missingmumsnet, I have just done a search on the names who have appeared in the chatty threads (read previous comment about my boring day) and I can only come up with 1 name that has only posted on the chatty threads, and this person who has not posted before (under that name anyway) is probably new, some people lurk for ages and for some people it can be an ordeal posting for the first time, she might have wanted to ease herself in gently, and next time will begin posting on the other threads.

I don't have a problem with the chat. I can see it is beneficial to many and still therefore has a place on Mumsnet.

What I feel, though, is that there are some people now posting whose main interest is chat and there have been quite a few threads that have gone quite quickly off the original subject to banal chat.

I used to find I learned something new everyday from Mumsnet, I now can't remember the last time I found a thread interesting.

That is roughly how I see it. I guess it is just the way Mumsnet has evolved. Some people find it positive. I for one think it is a shame.

Lastly, threads like this that analyse Mumsnet and discuss who said what, who upset who etc. are becoming tiresome. To be honest I'm actually annoyed with myself for participating in this thread.

I suggested closing the thread as it seems to be going around in circles now IMO and I didn't feel it was very constructive anymore, that's all. No politics, no censorhsip... Just felt like moving on. Of course, as this is mumsnet, if others disagree then i'm perfectly happy for them to do so

Oh, and I'm just off for a romantic weekend with dh (and minus ds) - hooray - and won't be around anyway so probably should have MMOB (minded my own business) .

I have found that as my DS gets older I am not longer interested in some of the threads that I used to find interesting. A lot of them repeat themselves several months later, and with me its been there done that IYKWIM (because I don't even think I do) That is not mumsnet fault.

have a good break Nobby.

I agree the analytical threads are tiresome. I probably shouldn't have commented either but felt strongly enough to by your initial post.

I think mumsnet is getting caught up in a navel-gazing loop