It's all gone wrong.

[ThanksForSpoilingIt]

I was thinking only yesterday wht a great substitute Mumsnet was for the social aspects of work which I no longer have access to.

Here I could have a chat, offer advice on a range of things from parenting to shopping whilst detouring through War. I could have a "drink" with friends without getting hungover and without consuming and empty calories. I could learn about Downs, Aspergers and Autism. Watch people go through the rollercoaster of IVF and come out the otherside. I could rejoice in the successes of other people's children, commiserate and comfort when things weren't quite so rosy.

Not, it would seem, any longer. I was happy to disagree vehemently with other people on hot threads and back those same people up on others. I was happy to ignore threads that held no interest to me and those I found offensive without feeling the need to jump on the people who were enjoying them. It's not a cosy substitute for "real" friends, "real" chat and "real" gossip any more. It sems we can't have fun without having to think twice and then twice again about whether someone might find it offensive, if it might make them uneasy, if they might not enjoy it... I look after the wellbeing of two small people in my day to day life. I don't need to be worrying about whether I'm keeping everyone here happy as well.

Concerned, now you are getting personal.

How dare you criticise Buffy

Enid:

That was the first thing that came into my head.

Well said Concerned! I'm not going to change my name coz I think I've got enough 'enemies' in here anyway.... a few more won't hurt.
Regarding the Buffy thread.... I have never even opened it. It has no interest to me. I think that if anyone moves even remotely off the topic and adds a bit of humour then, like you say, mumsnet police will filtrate and obliterate! ooooo it's all so dramatic. Why can't people have just left well alone.

I don't know who you are Concerned, but I will retreat to lurking status too. As one of the main culprits (apparently) for the 'new age' chatty threads I think it's probably for the best.

I'm not a deeply serious person, I need humour in every part of my life and I love making people laugh. Like I said earlier, to supress someone is like suffocating their personality.

ANd before I get accused of flouncing I'm not. I just recognise that I probably played a huge part in fact that Mumsnet will now have to be changed. And I think I'll lurk for a while to check out the repercussions.

Go on, M2T ... you know you want to flounce really Betcha finding the flounciest skirt you own as I type just so you can do it in style

Actually, I think the separate chat area is actually quite a good compromise as long as it doesn't get too anal if a non-chatty thread evolves into something chatty. I agree it'll be a pain otherwise, because although I tend to pay attention to topic area when starting a new thread, I'm hopeless at reading the title properly when replying.

I think it's a good idea too, but now it looks like there will be no scope for threads developing with a bit of humour.

It'll be like...

"Oh someone cracked a joke!"
"Quick Tech .... move it to the chatroom"
"Oh tech please scrub my last post in case it's construed as chatty in nature..... I'll finish my post in the chat section.... if anyones interested".

Georgina - I have very long hair thats very effective for flouncing. A built in flounce tool!

Oh great, I don't check up on here for a little while and something major has happened.

For once it was not me getting accused of flirting though so I'm happy about that.

So ladies what happened then?

this is all bonkers as conkers! Can't believe people get wound up so much..... Like you said M2T, you just don't open up the threads you're not interested in, or don't join in the conversation if you don't want to.

Or am I being to simplistic?!

SH - you started all this with your flirting... be gone you trollop!

Read the thread about " driving em away" or somthing like that.

Dot1 - we must all be missing something here.

I'm getting rather fed up with all this bitching personally. Mumsnet is for everyone and no-one should be excluded or be made to feel excluded either from threads like these or from the chat room. It is not up to M2T or anyone else to say who uses the chat rooms or threads. Freedom of speech eh? I have never found a problem with any particular thread on Mumsnet, and I've been posting for nearly 2 years now. But it does seem to have gotten very cliquey recently and that's not nice.

There is nothing wrong with a Mumsnet Arms or anything like that, but these threads tend to be taken over by a few posters, and if anyone objects then they are accused of spoiling everyone's fun. Isn't this meant to be a supportive parenting site? A chat room is a good idea, as some of these threads are more relevant to a chat room than a discussion board. Then posters like myself, who hate cliqueness, can steer clear. I just hope it solves some of the problems occuring on Mumsnet.

sorry... the thread is called.. "run 'em out of town"

READ IT AND WEEP!

It obviously is a bit simplistic, but I was happy doing that too

Then again, if it is annoying people then it isn't too much trouble to put the real mega chatty posts (where it starts out being a chatty post rather than evolves (devolves? lol)) in a separate topic to keep people happy. It seems reasonable enough.

As you say though, it all depends on how flexible people are if a previously "serious" conversation ends up having chatty throwaway comments in it and how people react to that. Let's see how it actually pans out for a few weeks before we start prophesying all doom and gloom though, eh?

Besides, I'm old... I need to reserve my energy for good quality flouncing - it's alright for you youngsters, M2T... I have to work up to a good flounce - none of this built-in malarky!

DO you know what rhubarb.. read your post again and then look at all the comments about the chatty threads. A contradiciton there I think!

Exactly FREEDOM OF SPEECH... as long as we don't do it on certain people patches aye. Yeah right.... it works both ways, or at least it's supposed to.

After all the abuse I've taken about the chatty threads and the abuse others have received too! I think there is much cliquyness here but it's nothing to do with people chatting.

WELL SAID RHUBARB !!!! Lets stop this nonsense and just get on with 'mumsnetting', whether that means chat or a serious need for advice.

M2T, you do make me laugh - half an hour ago you were going to disappear and lurk, now you're roundly insulting everyone again.

1. Don't go
2. Calm down
3. Aren't you supposed to be doing some work?
4. It's really not such a big deal to have a new topic, you know
5. The run out of town topic was about custy, not you
6. This posting is not intended to piss you off

Well... I'm not going to sit back and let people make ridiculous comments about me:

I KNOW that thread wasn't about me???!?

I can't quite see where I have insulted people philippat? Have I insulted you?

There have been far more insulting posts from other people.... why comment on only mine?

I'm bored at work or, I can assure you I wouldn't be wasting my time here.

m2t - it really isnt such a big deal to have a chat topic. No, really, it isnt. I'm sure mumsnet wont be moving threads from some topics to the Chat topic if it gets 'chatty'. The Chat topic will be like London - a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there

OMG - Jesus girls, STOP, go onto my group hug thread and lets all start again and make up, please. LOTS of LOVE XXX
I know we all love each other really. 3 O'clock is ther perfect time for a cup of tea, so all go and put the kettle on, be nice to each other in group hug thread and I'll meet you there when I've had a full leg & bikini wax!!!!

Lol Enid.

M2T, I thought loads about that last post and nearly didn't submit it because I thought I'd probably end up pissing you off, and look, yes I have. I have noticed you don't half get defensive at the least little thing - are you this sensitive in real life? And actually, that does become a bit of an issue for all of us - because you post so often, I suspect you tend to take lots of people's comments to heart that really you shouldn't. So that makes some of us a bit reluctant to post at all, in case we further upset you, and then, hey, mumsnet isn't what it was... (you see where I'm going here).

Anyway, was actually honestly trying to calm you down about the whole chat topic thing which I think you have got a bit out of perspective, and as a consequence you're being a bit mean to anyone who happens to agree that a chat topic will make navigating talk easier. Which of course is making the whole issue worse.

So, in summary, chill.

M2T would you mind just clearing up for me why you don't want a chat section? I just wonder why you think it is different from say a breastfeeding section, or pregnancy, products, special needs etc?

From the way I see it, the chat thread will be the ones specifically asking for quick responses about no real subject, just banter (like The Mumsnet arms for example), but ones that start out with a particular theme or request for advice would stay where they originated. Might be wrong though.

In practical terms it's probably easier to find all the chatty threads to add to if they are all under one heading, saves time searching.

Philippat - I have always found someone telling me to 'chill' or 'calm down' to be condescending and has the opposite effect on me.

It's not the new chat topic that's pi$$ing me off it's the fact that some people are going on and on about the right to have your own opinion and free speech, well what the feck was the chat all about..... that was free speeech too. But I'm not allowed to have an opinion about the things people are saying about me?? Is that it?

Ok.... now I post too much. I'm sorry if anyone finds the number of posts I add to be offensive or intimidating. ??

My posts obviously show more emotion than I am actually feeling.... it's not bothering me to the point I'm going to lose sleep. I haven't lost perspective and I DO want a chat thread, but I just wonder where it'll go next.

oooooh, this is getting good, can you finish it off by 4pm as I am outta work then? Although, everytime I post on a thread the conversations seem to screech to a halt...you just watch..sniff, getting complex

i feel like i have been bullied i realy do, dont want it to sound like a flounce - i think some are accusing me of flouncing- i dont know why either - and seriously someone explain.

i am a big internet fan - i go to chatrooms i find them great fun on a friday night when am smashed off my head and cant go out becuase him indoors has spent the money down the pub that very night and i dont know anyone to babysit

i hate having to defend myself, i didnt recognise the head irl thread as being a "chat" thread - it read as a popularity contest - i have no beef with thread or where they fkin well go - i dont care - i love new people coming in - i was new not that long ago im kinda middlin IYKWIM.

there is a clique here - there was a clique before

am not sure whether i have been accused of moving the chat threads or whethr i vlue myself too highly

really M2T - you didnt start that other thread but i really feel like you pick on me. now last night i didnt want to be bullied I JUST THOUGHT I HAD AN OPINION AS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EXPRESS IT. to and bottom of it was that so the shit on the boot comment was over emphasis i accept but i thought if i had an opinion i could share it
and hubby had fallen asleep upstairs and kids were in bed.

debate M2T thts what i love i adore a good debate
not an argumetn as had been infered

i didnt start the run em out of town thread to back up another point - its really not my style. it was something which occured to me - i didnt mean to make it sound like a back up argument - i know damn well am partly guilty of it as well - it want meant to be about me - it was meant as a topic to debate and its all gone horribly nasty

i love the conversation i love the banter i love the debates, my family are 300 miles away and i talk to the dog as i have been married far to long for a decent conversation!

arguments are abound in my house i dont want to play that game here however i dont like the feeling that i am being bullied

and i also hate it when people flounce off and say " am never comming back" i never said i was leaving

however am off to take a double whammy of prozac today because am now doing that crying thing where you take big gulps!

and i hate myself for leting this community of people who are faceless in the main have such an effect on me.

so the post is disjointed and i cant be arsed making it coherent - its how the stuff came out of my head.

M2T - I wasn't labelling you a "cuprit" when I said you were part of the new wave of chatty threads - I was just trying to explain why I thought you were implying you were being got at. I got it wrong - I tried to make myself clear, you misunderstood me again. These things happen.

Anyway, IMO you are more than welcome to post away on whatever topic you fancy, I really couldn't give a xxxx who posts on what. Having said that, I don't see what the problem is to having a "chat" section at the end of the topics. Some of these threads run to pages and pages and if you have an old computer it can take you ages to scroll down -eg: if you are running through the list of "last day" messages for instance. Surely this way round everyone should be happy?

Finally, Buffy for PM and I'll arm wrestle anyone who says otherwise.