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MN Little Italy 18

999 replies

DemonBradleySlaysPippi · 23/10/2009 21:41

Where are you????

OP posts:
PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 13:14

What's that recent american tv series based in the 50s that got such good ratings. Was it about a PR or marketing office?

Rosa · 03/11/2009 13:15

Love iT Dh watching something violet ...I meant violent . Violet is not a type of Luce rosso film we have in Veneto !!!
MInd you we do watch private practice, and Greys Anatomy together...... Until one of us falls asleep....

Francasaysrelax · 03/11/2009 13:24

Rosa at something violet ... it does sound like some sort of soft porn (in veneto, maybe )

Sputnik, yes. No we aren't romantic, never been. I often joke on how little romantic he was even at the beginning of our relationship, when I used to arrive in London on a very late friday night, and all he did was taking me for deep fried chicken at Mr Chicken or whatever in kentish town ... but I liked it that way. And we've always liked to go out with friends.

Rosa · 03/11/2009 13:26

Romance ....I am the romantic type but dh isn't or he just forgets so I just accept it.

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 14:06

Didn't think we were romantic... maybe we are though.

Gio it is official, just booked tickets: we are in Roma at easter. Get ready for a champagne celebration!!!

JavierBardem · 03/11/2009 14:27

Dh and I were very romantic, writing each other little notes ,and left them lying around. Now, he is sometimes, you know the odd bunch of flowers, or goes and get some cakes (he thinks they are nice, i think they are awful, but don't dare telling him). By being romantic I also mean intimacy, just cuddles on teh sofa, I think we have to have a chat, as we have lost our way a bit, what with me feeling constantly fluey, the kids, etc. I am going out more in the evening now dd is older, normally to the pub or out in town for a bit of culture.

JavierBardem · 03/11/2009 14:29

Pippi, what is this series?

I not only do mumsnet, but also google stalk stuff. Yesterday watched Anno zero about Il Divo, read stuff about Andreotti, etc. So, no, the computer can occupy me for hours, like to check writers out, or whatever reallly...may down my hours...

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 14:56

I don't know. I tried to Google it but cannot find it. I have not watched it but people said it was good. will try to think about it.

Oh I kind of hate the comp - strange thing for me to say hey. I cannot read things off it for long time. Much prefer paper form. That's why I have to buy newspapers.
If it wasn;t for MN I might check out some culture but tbh I think I'd turn it off and read or watch a good movie.

Even on MN I am just on LI. Boh!

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 15:00

I knew I kept an unread article about it somewhere! Mad Men.

JavierBardem · 03/11/2009 15:24

dp all snooty about it, does not rate series highly.

i hate comp tooooo!!! would you believe that?

JavierBardem · 03/11/2009 15:41

thinking of maybe rewatching the sopranos, look at Carmela, queen of stepfords

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHFSjCiV45s The music is from Naples!

gio71 · 03/11/2009 15:50

Pippi is it Mad Men-about advertising company in 1950s US?
Great news re Roma, glass of something sparkly in the sun definitely in order. What are you doing, staying in Roma for a few days or just a day trip. Sput you'll have to come along now you are a local if you are around
Franca ds loads better, went to hospital yesterday and dont have to go back for a month. Waiting room was packed to the brim with kids for flu jabs. And quite a few mask wearers as well!
We aren't romantic, I would like to be but haven't got the energy, I work too hard and dp is not remotely so. We are quite cuddly, touchy feely though. We promised after the summer we would make more time for us, less computer blah blah. Is starting to slip. We do watch films at the weekend together and there are a few tv series I love that dp has bought into-not enough though. He is more of a film person and I love my box sets.
We do love our wine and card games though. We bought the scopa match in doors on Sunday, too cold for balcony evenings now!

Francasaysrelax · 03/11/2009 15:53

I find impossible to retain info from the pc... still, I loose an awful lot of time on MN, youtube, reading the guardian (and sometimes I even check out the daily mail for some gossip ). Also, I still do bits of translations, so, as soon as I'm on the pc I immediately loose lots of time.

Oh rome at easter will be lovely!

I want to take dh to rome for his birthday, end of may.

Francasaysrelax · 03/11/2009 15:56

I deffo want to copy's gio's card games!

A few yrs ago, dh got me (because I asked it for xmas) a 2000 pieces puzzle and we did it together, which was fun (I know not a glamorous thing to confess, but hei! )

JavierBardem · 03/11/2009 16:15

Great idea about the puzzle!

Sputnik · 03/11/2009 16:38

When we were courting, back sometime in the 1870s, DH and I played a lot of backgammon, great fun.
Actually as students we played a lot of games like that, no tv in the house.

Francasaysrelax · 03/11/2009 16:55

it was la scuola di atene

Oh yes, we used to play interminable games of Trivial Pursuit at university!
And lots of friend of mine were really into risiko (is it risk in the uk) which I've never liked.

Francasaysrelax · 03/11/2009 16:55

Like the idea of you two playing backgammon sput!

SuiGeneris · 03/11/2009 18:31

What an interesting discussion on pregnancy care! I have been comparing a lot since many friends are pregnant in Italy at the mo.

But before I go general, let me answer MM's very precise question. The advice I have had from my maternal medicine consultant in the UK, from his junior (what are they called here? In Italy it would be an aiuto- mid-level specialist) and from my GP is to have the swine flu vaccine as soon as it is available. See here for the reasons. I have already had the seasonal flu vaccine and am on the priority list for the swine flu one- but my surgery does not have it yet. Received exactly the same advice in Italy from, amongst others, the head of infectious diseases at our local university hospital, neonatologist (if I am protected, baby gets protection after birth and for as long as I breastfeed- helpful as s/he won't be able to be vaccinated before 6 months) and various assorted other doctors (whom I see for social /family reasons- not because I am a hypocondriac!).

On pregnancy care: mine is a high risk pregnancy, so, even in the UK, they are keeping a fairly close eye on me (5 scheduled scans rather than 2, plus two extra ones in the early months when my GP was concerned). Also, I am followed by the high risk team at a major London teaching hospital, so I guess my experience is not typical. The care I have is excellent and every little concern is investigated BUT I too have noticed the more laissez-faire attitude here in the UK.

For example, on weight I was asked my weight at the booking in visit (the earliest they had ever done, at 4 weeks 6 days) and then never again. The dietary advice was "try to eat healthily, avoid [long list of things]". Yesterday, at 29 weeks, I asked the midwife whether it was ok to have gained almost 9 kilos by now and the answer was "baby seems to be growing fine, so yes". I was concerned I had put on too much, she thought I was worried about too little. I guess that, since most of the other women in the waiting room were frankly obese, or at least overweight, they do not worry too much about those in the normal range like me.

What I do find a bit annoying here is the "get on with it" attitude (maybe I am one of those delicate flowers MM does not like??): whenever I see the English midwives and ask about one of those pregnancy "discomforts" that actually have quite a negative effect on your day-to-day life, the answer I get is a variation on " Yes, it happens" with no suggestions on how to avoid it happening. Fortunately most of the time I see a doctor- who does offer solutions- or Greek midwife (working for the NHS) who is more sympathetic and does have helpful suggestions. Practical example: I have pelvic girdle pain that is on some days quite invalidating. English midwife at week 16: "Yes, it happens, it will probably get worse. Nothing much to be done" [does not even consider it worthy of my notes]. Greek midwife at week 20: "I am so sorry to hear that- it must be quite painful. Here is a referral for the physio, make sure you get an appointment this week and let me know if you do not."

Comparing with Italian friends, it seems to me that care from specialists is more or less the same (as it should be, if they practise evidence-based medicine) while at the midwife/GP level the UK attitude is more laissez-faire and "get on with it". With the obvious difference that in Italy almost everyone is under the care of a specialist for most of the pregnancy.

On the recurrent miscarriage point that one of you raised, I think it is an example of how the UK approach can sometimes be hard on the woman. A friend of mine (with one child) had two miscarriages fairly close to one another and difficulty conceiving no. 2 and was quite bluntly told by her GP that nothing would be done to look into the miscarriages before she had had 3. Friend in question already suffers from anxiety that is serious enough to be pharmacologically treated and was quite upset. Doctor friends in Italy to whom I mentioned this were quite surprised as, they said, there were fairly simple investigations that could have helped, and the psychological impact of difficulty conceiving and miscarriage is serious, so it should have been looked at earlier, in their opinion.

Maybe it is a problem of money (NHS does not have enough) and of the rationing that has to follow, coupled with the British stiff upper lip...

And in Italy there is a lot of difference between North and South: Caesarians and interventions generally much more common in the South.

On the other hand, as many of you have said, maternity is very well safeguarded in Italy, the rules sometimes get exploited (with a negative impact on the employment of women of child-bearing age) and often Italians do not realise how good they have it.

I was stunned when a few days ago a male Italian friend was complaining that wife only got 80% salary for 5 months of compulsory maternity leave and then 30% for the next six months. He thought this was terrible and very harsh on families, state clearly does not care, etc. I explained about the 6 weeks at 90% and 39 weeks at more or less £120 a week in the UK- and no pregnancy at risk provisions- and he was then a bit less annoyed about Italy. Note that his wife was put on pregnancy at risk at 8 weeks (pregnancy actually normal, but she works with the mentally ill, ob/gyn concerned about stress and about patients assaulting her), so she had 5 months pregnancy at risk (I think on full salary), 5 months at 80%, 6 months at 30% and then still was able to take aspettativa for another bit if she wanted...

Sorry, long rambling post, but I think you get the gist. Off to get some Gaviscon for the mid-afternoon heartburn (another one of those things for which the English midwife said "get on with it, maybe have some milk"- which is advice about 30 years out of date and actually makes it worse, for reasons which I can go into if anyone is interested- versus kindly Italian doctor who was adamant I should treat- with Gaviscon- to improve quality of life and avoid problems with esophageal lining).

SuiGeneris · 03/11/2009 19:02

PS: on the subject of bed rest, I suffered from bad nausea and light-headedness early on- fortunately with no vomiting (TMI?). UK advice (from unsympathetic English midwife mentioned above) was the usual "try ginger biscuits and wait, it usually gets better after a few weeks". Ginger biscuits made things worse and it did not better, in fact, it got rather a lot worse. Then tried Italian advice (small, simple meals, lots of fruit, lots of rest) so and got a bit better. Then went to Italy for holiday, was packed off for rest in bed for 1 hour mid-morning, 2 hours mid-afternoon and in 48 hours nausea and light-headedness were gone. Might have been a coincidence, of course, but the previous 8 weeks would have been a lot less miserable if somebody had at least suggested trying resting more and taking things easy rather than going on about horrible, disgusting ginger biscuits.

Rosa · 03/11/2009 19:32

Oh before kids DH and I used to do puzzles we always had one on the go on the table and when we had friends round we had to cover it or hide the board under the bed !
Sui what a post !!! Good re the vaccine . I am giving my dds the normal flu vaccine and I think they have both had sf so that is off the list my sis said if it was offered that they should both have the swine flu one but now they have had it then I guess we can cross that off the list.When are you due ?
I found the nausea aspect very good here - I had some godo suggestions from the consultorio and also my gyne-but the rest for me was hard with dd1.
In the Uk I had 1 midwife check and she diddn't even ask how much weight I had put on - I am one of those overweight people but as my BP was fine ( or even low at times) she diddn't bother. Gyne here was impressed about how little I put on with the Pg but I put on after with bf and this is where I am stuffed. In the Uk I was offered help , diet programs and suggestions to help with my fermo metabolic rate here it is see a dietician ( a pagamento obviously ) and comments like don't eat pasta e pane - I don't . DOn't drink alcohol - I don't . DOn't eat fuori pasti - I don't. SO the Uk wins on that one ......

SuiGeneris · 03/11/2009 19:56

Rosa: sorry to hear about the unhelpful suggestions re diet in Italy- it sounds like people did not actually bother to listen to your situation, and in any event avoiding pasta and pane is not the point... I have heard this happen many times with dieticians, especially private ones.

Can you get referred to a specialist in Scienza dell'Alimentazione (i.e. doctor with post-graduate 3 year specialty in nutrition) as opposed to a dietician?

Due mid-Jan.

Evening activities with DH: we tend to get eat late (8.30ish) so by the time we have eaten and tidied up is 10pm and I am shattered (not just now that I am pg, even before). We tend to chat (converse sounds so much better) over dinner and on the rare occasions when we are not too tired after dinner we too play games (backgammon mostly). DH would like us to watch TV together sometimes but for me TV is like valium straight in a vein and I fall asleep immediately, so not very successful. DH has tried getting various series on DVD but to be honest I prefer the cuddle up on the sofa aspect of watching them than the DVDs themselves.

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 20:09

Great post SG.

I totally agree on 'whenever I see the English midwives and ask about one of those pregnancy "discomforts" that actually have quite a negative effect on your day-to-day life, the answer I get is a variation on " Yes, it happens" with no suggestions on how to avoid it happening.'
everything I suffered from was frowned upon. Once with dd1 I started crying buckets at a midwife apt when it was clear they wanted to go for lunch and they were not even listening to my questions.

I must say though that it is a bit unfair to compare NHS with monthly visit to private gynec which is what happens in italy.
It would be interesting to compare like for like.

Oh and nobody checked my weight except at the first visit like you suggest and when I asked I was told I was fine. I put 16kg with dd2 so def not that fine imo.

Yes Gio Mad Men. Any good? The plan about Rome I think is for DH and I to come for a two day break on our on!!!!!
Unless you want to temot us with something great for kids as well.

JB: Why is DP suspicious about it?

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 20:12

SG you live in north london as well or am I mistaken?

I cannot see dh doing a puzzle for the life of me. I love it. As children we used to do big 10000 pieces with my dad, and play risk, and my brother and I loved Canasta when very young !

SuiGeneris · 03/11/2009 20:44

South London- though nappy valley, so perhaps sociologically similar to North London?

How uncanny: I like puzzles too- and loved canasta as a child, but have completely forgotten (I think) how to play. Similarly, DH would probably rather pluck his eyebrows than do a puzzle (and no, he does not pluck his eyebrows!).

Pippi, thank you, you have given me an excellent idea for these rainy days when I am supposed to stay home and rest: will get my puzzle mat out and try and do the London tube map puzzle from memory. And with this nerdish comment I'd better go and see if my sugo has defrosted, otherwise we risk not having much to eat tonight!