MN Little Italy 18

[DemonBradleySlaysPippi]

Where are you????

amazing how diet can affect certain probs...

I've just watched the first episode of The Wire!

Sorry I missed the discussion.
Lol at fiorellino delicato . I deliberately avoid those kind of women, or perhaps I've been lucky enough to only have encountered pretty feisty ones .
But I do agree that Italian people can be very apprehensive about health (not just during pregnancy) and that in Italy exams and medicines are over prescribed mostly for money reasons (that awful mix of private and public health... which in Lombardia has filled the pockets of Formigoni and his friends. On the other hand we do have in Lombardia really good hospitals)
I really think a middle ground would be ideal. My obstetrician here in Italy (who is around our age, has 3 children and while not being patronizing or over protective is actually very scrupolosa and with great bedside manners) was a bit by the little exams I was offered when pg with dd (she was born in the UK)
And I was quite when I took her to A&E at 5 days old with very high temperature (after having spent the day convincing midwife and gp that yes, indeed, I wanted the baby to be checked out in hospital) and the first question they asked me was if I was positive to strep B. Of course I didn't know it if I was... they don't routinely test!
Sorry about the rant, I had really wonderful midwives with dd, a fantastic birth, but I still feel that a scan at 30 weeks (which is not routinely given in Devon) wouldn't go amiss.

As for putting on too much weight, I know there are doctors in Italy who give you a very hard time with it. On the other hand, putting on too much weight during pg can be dangerous as it increases risks of gestational diabetes. So again, middle ground should be sought.

As for statistics. As you might expect southern italy has the highest rate of c sections (most people give birth in private hospitals where c sections are offered, to get refund from the region ). Alto Adige has the best stats for vaginal birth.
Southern Italy has horrible rates of perinatal deaths.

But I remember reading an article in the Guardian, about 6 yrs ago, and the rates of perinatal deaths in the UK were quite high then.

Ah, Pippi go and see the gp.

My perineo has gone. Every time I laugh/sniff/cough I p* myself a little

So Franca, whaddya'all think about the Wire? Are you about to change your name to FrancalovesMcNulty? and how's your "aw ight" coming along?

btw first episodes a bit difficult to get into

no lets not talk about pregnancy weight. My first gyno appointment after moving to Italy after 7.5 months of pregnancy in UK happily eating for 2 was not my happiest/proudest moment. Firstly I didn't actually know how much weight had put on as wasn't sure of weight prior to pregnancy but I had a random guess at 18 kilos and I thought they were going to section me! I still have one of those pasta / carne diets stuck on my fridge, with the intent to start it one day.....
Agree with a middle way being the right way, although if have to choose I prefer the Italian system.
Is the Wire that good? Should I get it?

Morning!

I agree with Franca about pg care- too much here, too little there....(I did half and half- went from here, being seen virtually weekly @ 80 euro a go of course) to going there, and the midwife (even though I was a 38 yr old prima gravida) saying "strong as a carthorse, keep going".

Something I notice which can hardly be a coincidence is that every "statale" worker (ie teacher) immediately has a gravidanza a rischio and lies on the sofa for 9mths. When I was pg (worked up to 8mths) and 6mths (June) I was doing 6 hrs on a Saturday morning at the ITC, in 2 buildings which were 10 mins apart, and literally ran from one to the other between classes....a colleague drove between the 2 but said to me "I'm going on gravidanza a rischio, this is too much for me"

I was v surprised not to be offered a c-sec (I'm the only person I know here not to have had one!!) but my doc (now in parliament with Berlusca......) said "the Madonna didn't have a c-sec" and was v sniffy with me for having an epidural as she presumably didn't have one of those either.....

Masseuse, I enjoyed the first episode, even if I found really difficult to understand what was going on despite the subtitles . Mc Nulty, I still have to decide if he's attractive or not.

Bucharest at your doctor and the Madonna comment. Sadly the attitude towards epidurals is still quite primitive.
Pregnancy is pretty "garantita" by the Italian constitution, but sadly some people take advantage of the system (those who fake gravidanza a rischio).
We also have a generous ML, which - again- can retort against women, as many companies think twice before offering a job a tempo indeterminato to women in their 30s

Gravidanza a rischio is frankly a joke- everyone gets it, and as far as I can tell it is often the gynaes who are pushing for it; it is tantamount to benefits fraud in many cases. No wonder women are not taken seriously in the workplace! I went to an international conference in the US when I was 7m pg with dd2 and the Italians (all super, super nice btw) there were shocked to see me upright, let alone working, let alone travelling transatlantically (must admit though, it nearly killed me).

And yes maternity leave is very generous in Italy but then flexible working is virtually unheard of. It is much more common here, incl in the private sector. So not sure the system is necessarily better.

I think I gave birth at a very forward looking hospital, they were very much in favour of epidurals and had a very low rate of c-sections.
Did you give birth in Rome Gio? [nosy]

Yes Sput- Fatebenefratelli on Isola Tiberina. They were lovely and selected by me purely because they offered free epidurals. Are a bit c section heavy though and sure enough I added to that statistic. Not that I was bothered at that stage. Which hospital did you give birth in?

Being self-employed I got bugger all for having to lie in bed all day.
Actually I think the kind of employees rights they have here, which are great on paper, very very often backfire meaning huge numbers of people can only get work as consultants and collaborators or whatever, in which case you have no rights whatsoever.

Ah yes, that is the one everyone wants to go to, my gynae trained there. I went to Città di Roma which is a clinica convenzionata and she recommended as following the FBF system, but smaller. Also about a nun-free as it's possible to get here, which was a plus.

I told the woman in the bed next to me what an epidural was (her 3rd pregnancy)

Yes, I agree that gravidanza a rischio when there is no risk is tantamount to benefit fraud. And I think that the "old school" doctors tend to be more generous with it.
My obstetrician was pg with her first when I was pg and worked until she was 8 months pg!
I have to say that all my friends and acquaintances worked until the very last minute (so to have more ml when the baby was born), but they are no fiorellini delicati .

Gio how's ds?

Ohhh, Helloooo, Can I butt in and ask for your advice? Dp and I have realised that as much aa we try we end up spending our evenings infront of our computers. We have two dvd nights at the weekend where we have nicer wine, treats, etc, so we are together on the sofa . What do you do after the kids have gone to bed? Telly? Comp? SEx? Reading? Play scopa? Converse?

Converse??? Dh doesn't do conversations !
I don't know, we never really plan what we do. We often watch a dvd together, we share the same tastes in movies and tv series, thankfully (apart disagreeing on History of violence ). He often works at night, so that he can usually come home relatively early in the afternoon. I like my pc time as well.
Since coming back to Italy we have more occasions of going out, which is good. But we often like to go out with friends, rather than the 2 of us. We really aren't a romantic couple, we love each other, but both aren't that interested in coupledom.

JB why do you ask such question - why are always here talking to eachother!!! No really we do the same as yours. DH is in front of tv chilling out. I am either at the comp or reading. A couple of nights a week we either watch something together or have movie night. Once a week we go out separately with our own friends.
I think you have a good balance imo.

Good morning all. I'll be brief as my house is a tip!

One thing I'd have liked is the 3rd scan (which I had done privately for dd2 in italy as I was there) and the strepB thing. Also maybe a couple of internal examination. Not the every week business though.

We do converse a lot actually but not all night and not about philosophy let's be clear. DH is a chatty type. He also gets up very early in the morning, 5.30, and comes home at dinner time so he's pretty shattered.

If you really want to know what we have done last night is listening to the neighbour effing and blinding at us so loudly the whole Borough must have heard him .

What did the neighbour do???

emailed youin case ther are mnetters, doubt it.

A case of typical suburbian egomania imho.

I want to spend less time on the pc, we are now trying to find a series that we can watch on a regular basis, as a treat after putting kids to bed. I can never find anything on the telly, we don't watch it. I find the pc a bit of a killer for relationships. Boh, will see. Emailed you back pippi.

Oh I'd like to be on the pc a lot less. I am only on to speak to you lot tbh and even that is too much. I'd be reading more if it wasn't for MN for a start or watch good movies. So def will try to be off completely a few nights a week so I can sit and read. DH doesn;t really watch tv he just collapses and turns brain off in front of it tbh.
I think we are okay with time spent together.
We tend to go out the two of us once a fortnight. We prefer it the two of us actually. Occasionally with friends too.

We don't seem to have a life ! Sad really . ALl depends if dh comes back slightly knackered or mega. We try to eat together but the dds now eat around 18.30 as minirosa won't sleep much in the pm so I have to bring it forward. Eating together = Me feeding minirosa , helping dd1 esp if she is tired and dh eating. If I hevn't got on the Pc in the day then I head to the Pc either to do DH work stuff or teaching stuff or now Xmas shopping and dh goes to bed. I go to bed and he is either asleep or on teh Iphone or watching something violet and not for me.
DVD Dh won't get any he downloads it. I don't know what is current / on offer so I don't know what to ask him to find for me so thats it. We are hoping to go out with 2 friends on sat when mum is here which will be nice .
Gym = I have the times stuck to teh fridge but I can't get there it really gets to me but nil I can do. Weight not going there as it still won't move it really gets me down and I refuse to have pics taken of me .
AN Care here - Ok its costly but worth it. I had an ongoing urine infection with minirosa which if I was in the UK then it wouldn't have been spotted until things had got bad.
Strep B - People still die of it so I think that is vital it is done .
We don't have the HV care that the UK has but the 3 nights in hosp were well needed IMO ....
One gripe I have here is that e.g to get moles checked the Gp says see a dermo .. You pay . In the Uk you can do that and lots more in a surgery. Here you do more running round and pay more I think !

Can't help really, me and DH both in front of the computer every night, unless we are out or have friends over. He tends to fall asleep watching films, I think it is probably years since he watched a film.
Franca your relationship sounds much like ours. DH wouldn't know romantic if it slapped him round the face with a wet fish. And most of the time I prefer it that way, I am not a flowers and chocolates kind of person (well flowers anyway...).