MN Little Italy 15

[francagoestohollywood]

welcome!

hey everyone, camo i am so happy that things with your dp have been cleared, it IS awful when parents come in... you know what they say, they f* you up your mum and dad, and it's so hard to shake it off. sounds like your dp knows that he can?t possibly let his parents screw your life up as well as his? and he?s putting you first, that?s all that matters.

Well the crisis at the mystic massage household continues? although I have reopened communication channels by writing dh a letter? basically I really don?t want to go because I really don?t want to be a SAHM (I know you lot won?t take it personally, but it?s so not me, and not a choice I made iyswim). But otoh if it really is the opportunity of a lifetime for him I can?t stand in the way? I said if I can?t find a jobn I either want him to pay for me to do an MBA or have another baby. That got him thinking! 

Gio, great news about schools and please do not worry about languages- when dd started nursery at 2.5 she was barely stringing a sentence together in any language, and her English was really rudimentary? now, while she?s still a bit behind languagewise, she sings to herself in English and ?reads? books to her little sister in English! I actually find it quite hard to accept that Italian won?t be her main language 

Franca, buone vacanze!!!

ah thank you all, as ever you make me feel better and reassure me that FIL is just a big PITA (in moon boots lol)
Second question then will leave you in peace. were your dcs out of nappies? We are just starting with potty training at the moment.
Franca ds isn't shy, he is just a big (literally-the child is huge, the same size as lots of 3 and 4 year olds!) mammone. He is very very used to being with me.

YEs dd was but it all happened over the summer. Some started whilst they were at Asilo some I know are still in them ( at 3 ). As for size my nipote is 4 in July and he is easily the size of a 4 / 5 yr old- He was 21kg at 3 ...nothing do do with the crap nutritional merende my Sil was giving him!!!!
MM wow well why not do an MBA and have another baby - don't do things by halves Gald you have given him something to think about.
Got Chicco travel cot in its bag after doing a lotta on the rug only to find out I have put the bag on the wrong way so you can't pull it - NOt getting it out now !!! I have a cena di lavoro sta sera - an agency we work with this is my FIRST evening out in 7 months pity I have to a) stay sober , b) can't be late as MR keep waking up and c) get up in the morning !! d) its not with dh !!!! Magari this summer.....

Gio, check with your scuola materna what is their "policy" re nappy changes. I suppose they should be quite flexible now that they also offer places for the piccolini (the 2.5 yrs old), who might not be out of nappies yet. My best friend has a similar "problem", her dd will start scuola materna in sept (she'll be 3 in December) and refuses to use the potty. My friend confides in the summer, where usually huge developments are made!
As for being mammone, I think that is quite normal too. How is he with his childminder? Would your dh be happy to spend more one to one time with him during the holidays? It'd give you half morning to relax, while they bond. It might be a good way to sort of gently "ferry" him towards a less mammonosita'? (If you are prepared

Masseuse, I think you are being very reasonable. No, I won't take it personally, I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm one of those desperate cases of people who don't enjoy being a sahm. But why I didn;t have a job to go back to when I had my first is a boring story.

Ah rosa, sorry forgot. Yes, I'm thorn between feeling apprehensive about this going alla cieca and being quite excited

MM glad you have been laying out your negotiation position

Re nappies, my DD was potty trained in july and started scuola mat. in september. I sent her with a change of clothes and there were a couple of accidents, no problem. I don't think our school would change nappies though, and they wouldn't clean poo accidents either. One time that happened they phoned me to come and get her!

Re language I am probably the wrong person to ask with my Italian refusenik DD. You should be fine as he hears italian at home.

Ah che pace, both dds miracolously asleep. Should be packing though.

franca LOL at 'Tell your FIL to modernizzarsi un po' . True though.

I am going to add my piece of mind. DD was 3 when she started and her english was almost nihil. She was quiet at first, but that's how she is anyway, never didn't want to go and she seems to have loads of friends, not at first but no one does. Now her english is better than her italian. still behind in both. she is convinced she speaks greek too .

MM, no offense at all. I hated being a SAHM when on mat leave. Now love it but only because I see it as a temp thing before I go back to uni or find a job. Don't mind staying at home (a patto che dh mi da un po' di pace!) for a few years if I really have to although I'd rather find smthing from september.
You are very reasonable but I suggest MBA and baby as well. MBA first as this will let you meet people and build a life of your own. If you have a baby immediately you might feel a bit lonely, no?
Can we come and visit and play heidi (recurrent theme in the pippi's sick mind)?

rosa have you managed with the travel cot, I can help you I've done it millions of times and it is always tricky.

I love going alla cieca! When the DD are a bit older we'll be def doing that.

Am I looking forward? Don't know yet, difficult to imagine being by the beach when here it's cold and pissing it down. There's also so much to pack, plan etc that it feel more a military exped than a holiday. Also I do not want to have my expect too high. But yes I'm sure we'll have a great time as usual.

Franca, my Dh suggested to bring the laptop so that we can watch movies and I've incenerito con lo sguardo and threatened to stay behind (no offense to you all ). Surely on holiday we should not do what we do at home...

I cannot believe how rubbish the weather is ...

Ah yes, Croatia. We did the same thing, going blind, the last summer before having kids. It was early september. The campsites were great, huge, no problem finding space. We ended up mostly island hopping in the islands between Pula and Zadar. It was lovely. The water is bloody cold though!

Where are you going Pippi?

Pippi, Franca, do you mind me asking what you did before having dcs?

crete.

MM nothing as interesting as you trust me.

BA in Critical Theory and a job in Housing. Awaiting to do MA and eventually, when I am 90 like Margaret from the apprentice, a PHD.

MM, yeah, go for both! although I'm not looking fwd to going back to work in sept, I also know I'll be glad of the change of scenary!

pippi, no, def no laptop! pretty miserable this side of the river too.... a week ago I was sunbathing (well, not really, but I was out in the garden)

Sorry, I now feel all guilty to say I don't enjoy sahmhood. I do enjoy my children a lot. I think that, unlike pippi, I don't have much hope or self confidence that I can go back to work or study (which I like more than working btw), this is why I feel more trapped than most. Especially now that we are in Italy, it is not easy to find much at my age here!

MM, I have a degree in Lettere Moderne, indirizzo storico c/o statale di milano. I was a "slave" in a pr office when I met dh who was finishing his phd in London. He gets a job in devon. I follow. Not many jobs around there. I'm a bit depressed the first yr there. Then I do a MA in Bristol. But the next year, when I should have looked for a job in the UK, dh gets a temp job in an italian uni, and so off we go. I get a job in Milan, which I hate from day 1. I fall pg after 2 or 3 weeks. We go back to devon.

Sorry, I now feel all guilty to say I don't enjoy sahmhood. I do enjoy my children a lot. I think that, unlike pippi, I don't have much hope or self confidence that I can go back to work or study (which I like more than working btw), this is why I feel more trapped than most. Especially now that we are in Italy, it is not easy to find much at my age here!

MM, I have a degree in Lettere Moderne, indirizzo storico c/o statale di milano. I was a "slave" in a pr office when I met dh who was finishing his phd in London. He gets a job in devon. I follow. Not many jobs around there. I'm a bit depressed the first yr there. Then I do a MA in Bristol. But the next year, when I should have looked for a job in the UK, dh gets a temp job in an italian uni, and so off we go. I get a job in Milan, which I hate from day 1. I fall pg after 2 or 3 weeks. We go back to devon.

Sorry, I now feel all guilty to say I don't enjoy sahmhood. I do enjoy my children a lot. I think that, unlike pippi, I don't have much hope or self confidence that I can go back to work or study (which I like more than working btw), this is why I feel more trapped than most. Especially now that we are in Italy, it is not easy to find much at my age here!

MM, I have a degree in Lettere Moderne, indirizzo storico c/o statale di milano. I was a "slave" in a pr office when I met dh who was finishing his phd in London. He gets a job in devon. I follow. Not many jobs around there. I'm a bit depressed the first yr there. Then I do a MA in Bristol. But the next year, when I should have looked for a job in the UK, dh gets a temp job in an italian uni, and so off we go. I get a job in Milan, which I hate from day 1. I fall pg after 2 or 3 weeks. We go back to devon.

ups, sorry!

don't feel guilty franca! my mum's always saying how she regrets not working after getting married (she had a good career in nursing in paris she left to move to italy in mezzo ai campi), as her qualifications weren't recognised in italy. she's constantly telling me not to give up work. after all, you're not just a mum and a wife, you're your own person! I'd love to have higher qualifications, though when I finished the liceo I just had no idea what to do with my life. I now know what I would/should have studied at uni, but only because I quite like one aspect of my job and I've become more confident on my knowledge. unfortunately, I have no funds/time/energy for studying at the moment though.
what would be your "ideal" job?

I understand not to have the confidence to go back to work but studying? Is it because it's Italy and not many mature students etc? What happened with the midwifery course?

Think MBA and baby sounds a reasonable trade for uprooting MM . Would it be a permanent move or for a fixed period of time? If you dont want to be SAHM then I think MBA would be a good compromise.
Pippi re laptop I am having to really struggle with that one myself . We have a portable DVD player we usually take as holidays seem to be the only time we ever get the chance to catch up on the thousands of DVDs we have and have never watched. I am debating taking my laptop as am feeling nervous about being away from my "office" for 3 whole weeks, even though I will have my Blackberry and calls diverted to my mobile. That is ridiculous isnt it! I need to have a break! And there will always be an internet cafe if something urgent comes up......Think DP will blow his top if take laptop as well.
Yes Franca where are you up to re midwife course? I would love to go back to study one day.No idea what though. I also dream of finding a job I love rather than just one I know I can do IYSWIM

Camo sorry to hear about your mother, she must have felt quite lonely in mezzo ai campi to begin with.
So, what it is you would like to study camo?

I still regret not having had the guts to study medicine, which I really would have like to do. But again, I'm not the most self confident person, plus my parents hadn't been supportive about that (not to self: always be supportive of your children choices... )

Then, I would have loved to do a phd in the subject I graduated, but again was put off by the idea of other yrs without any money... and not brave enough to leg it to the UK to do post grad studies... I'm a whimp basically. I certainly wasn't cut to be a pr, despite essermi divertita a lot when I worked in that field.

Pippi the midwifery course is very impegnativo, plus, thee were no other mature students when I went to the open day. The head of the course was really supportive, but who'd guarantee me I'd find a job at 40 plus after the degree? boh!

Ah forgot to say we got a tent for 55 euros at decathlon!

I want a chiavetta to MN when on holiday

I would have liked to become and interior designer. For that reason I've done 3 years of Architecture in italy but ...' my parents hadn't been supportive about that (note to self: always be supportive of your children choices... )' (sorry for plagiarism franca but it was much needed). Actually mum's always been but she was struggling with divorce at the time to be much help tbh.
As a child I'd have loved to be a vet now not sure.

If money wasn't an option I'd really do either another BA or an MA. That is really what I'd like to do.