What are you doing to improve yourself, if anything?

[Pruners]

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I'm trying not to top every anecdotal thing someone tells me with my own story . I thought it was showing empathy and engaging with the other person but apparently it can come across as patronising .

I am learning not to give people false expectations about what an ace friend I would make.

Spent years wondering why everyone wants to be my best friend and won't leave me in peace for 5 minutes until finally I crack and say "You're suffocating me!" Then - blam! - realised that this is my problem, I am sending out the wrong signals.

So now I lower my self-imposed expectations and focus on being respectful and kind to those I meet, rather than trying to make everyone totally love me by listening to everything they say without objection and going along with things they love to do, but which I'm actually not fussed about.

I've finally realised that there isn't a moment when you reach a magical number of people you haven't pissed off and you are officially declared a Worthy Person. Also, that wanting everyone to think you are ideal best friend material is actually quite a manipulative and unhelpful thing to do.

Blimey, that was a bit ranty of me!

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I am giving my dp more freedom now our dd's are older which I think he appreciates and he does it for me too.

I'm trying to be more laid back.

Communicate more.

Work harder to improve my business and therefore me.

Educate myself once we're married.

Make myself look nicer, getting fit, looking after my skin and nails etc

Do more for charity.

Just noticed you said not physically but when I exercise it does help my mental state too.

I am trying to stop worrying about what other people think of me and I am trying hard to make myself happy (I know that sounds selfish), but I was on anti-depressants and have now come off them in an attempt to concieve again. I am being assessed, along with dh, for becoming a short break foster carer, which is what I've always wanted. Trying not to be a people pleaser all the time. Hope I haven't bored any of you

That's interesting about the eggs...can you remember the title of the book, Pruners?

More listening, less anecdote (al la Sally).

Very deliberately thanking people who do something small for me (e.g. open door), and looking at them (not into pram or floor).

Letting little things go with DD, trying much harder to be consistent - recognising the impact of how I'm feeling on what I tolerate from her (she's only 2... I can be mean mean mean, when really Im tired, bored, distracted)

Deliberately contacting friends I know who isolate themselves when things aren't going well - just texts about trivia, but it keeps the door open so to speak.

What I really need to get on with is restoring relationship with DH - we are running in parallel at the moment...

I am trying to develop opinions and put them across articulately. MN is the perfect place for it. I must endeavour to do so without conflict.

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saying no when i already have Too Much To Do

not sweating the small stuff

stop procrastinating

just generally simplifying

This is interesting, lots of similarities. I am trying to slow down .

Pruners and HF - the egg stuff is v interesting.

In just over two weeks I am going to give birth, and then I will be Much Better.

Then I will read literature again. And cook proper meals sometimes. And be a less crap mother to DS and hopefully an okay mother to new DB. And a better friend to everyone.

Etc.

Great idea for a thread, and lots of ideas for other things I should do to improve myself!

Before I read the thread mine were:-

giving my friends more of my time and attention
trying to be more trusting - of myself mainly but also of the world in general
reminding myself to enjoy DS more and think less
apologise less

I'm now adding:-

tell less anecdotes and listen more!!

What a fab thread

I could agree with oh so many of you. I think I generally need to spring clean my life and take a bit more control over it, rather than just letting things happen.

I know what you mean about living in parallel with your dh rempy. It's very easy just to focus on what's happening around you and keep going, and not spend real time with your partner. I need to actively notice him I think...

I'm also guilty of not really listening to friend's woes, and then topping them with my own problems. Must listen more, speak less I think.

Snap, becstarlitsea

I am trying to improve my general education. Reading a lot of non-fiction on periods of history I know little about, travel books, art, etc. I have 3 A levels and a good degree but stopped really educating myself at 22 so the gaps in my knowledge are pretty embarrassing.

Every day I write down one new thing I have learned in my diary.

At home, trying to be more patient with dd (she's 2.8 and therefore hard work sometimes).

At work, I am trying to stand up for myself a bit more, and to think before I speak - I'm prone to just blurting stuff out then regretting it later.

In fact, trying to be more deliberate and thoughtful and less impetuous in general.

And I need to get over my fear of driving because it's really annoying DP. Have promised to start this when we get our new car in a couple of weeks.

MintyyAeroEgg - I love the writing down one new thing a day . It could have the potential to be an interesting thread if we all did it.

There was a thread recently about what MN had 'taught' people and mostly it was things like 'mooncups' and 'BLW'.
I'm sure we could rival that .

thedolly Now I have to know what BLW means please!

Nothing more exciting than Baby Lead Weaning (no purees, pass the crudites please )

am learning to draw....and doing it every week....drawing, that is

say my twopennorth ...in a nice way if possible [a mare-ish one if not}

trying to listen better

gawd, my english is appalling...adds review what I write, to the list