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Original poster

What are you doing to improve yourself, if anything?

77 replies

Pruners · 31/03/2009 13:27

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HeadFairy · 31/03/2009 13:29

I've been accused in the past of talking about myself too much, so I'm making a conscious effort to ask people how they are, and listen and ask questions and be generally much more interested.

In that spirit... what are you doing? Did something prompt this introspection or just spring cleaning your psyche?

morningpaper · 31/03/2009 13:29

Hmm that's a good question pruners

Original poster
Pruners · 31/03/2009 13:30

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HeadFairy · 31/03/2009 13:33

Well that's very nice of you and a lovely thing to aspire to. Always comes back to you in the end too.

I always used to wonder why none of my friends confided in me about anything meaningful... I was part of a big crowd, generally playing the clown. It took me a long time to realise that you have to stop shouting and playing the fool for people to trust you with their fears and concerns.

There I go again, talking about myself

Original poster
Pruners · 31/03/2009 13:35

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messymissy · 31/03/2009 13:36

I try to read more now, as my vocabulary is that of a toddler at the moment and I want to remember how to talk like an adult!!!

Also read a broadsheet couple times a week to keep up with the news so I have something other than child care to talk to real grown ups about.

Patience is important as is being realistic with people.

I invite other mums and babies over a lot - even the ones who never reciprocate, its nice to have an open house policy and its so hard to make friends, i've always struggled with low confidence and try hard to combat it.

i try to be reliable - harder now with a toddler!

good question.

BonsoirAnna · 31/03/2009 13:38

Trying to get my POV across without conflict.

morningpaper · 31/03/2009 13:38

Hmmm well I have attempted to make inroads into Improving Relations With Difficult Family Members but that's fallen on stony ground

I am trying to be less shouty and more listeny but I'm sooo bad at it especially after a glass of wine

Basically I'm hoping to do Wholesome Gardening from now until November which always makes me a Nicer Person

But this thread has made me think I should do More

deanychip · 31/03/2009 13:42

Try to distance myself from family conflict.

keep my opinions to myself

if i have nothing nice to say...dont say anything at all

Try to not get involved and to keep myself to myself

do not talk about myself.

to not be selfish and think of others

to not take people for granted

show genuine gratitude to those people who surround me who are kind, giving and caring.

doggiesayswoof · 31/03/2009 13:47

I find it really hard to make changes - life is so busy and you get carried along by all the things you need to do

But anyway

I am trying to be more sociable

Trying to be more patient and empathetic and less selfish

I want to be less controlling of dh (it's nothing scary, but I need to "let go" of him a bit IYSWIM)

but if you asked me what I was actually DOING to facilitate these changes, I would struggle to answer

uberalice · 31/03/2009 13:56

Great idea for a thread.

I'm trying to be nicer to people, especially myself. And I'm managing to say "no" more often at work where I might previously have bent over backwards to get something done, and really stressed myself out in the process.

sobanoodle · 31/03/2009 14:09
  1. Doing a creative writing course
  1. Reading good quality fiction (helps with 1 and improves the intellect)
  1. Trying to be more patient and empathetic
Original poster
Pruners · 31/03/2009 14:14

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BedofRosesItAintII · 31/03/2009 14:21

I am trying to do less each day and not stress over the things that don't get done.

I realise that I have a great life mostly and just need to slow down to enjoy it.

Besides, a bit of dust and untidiness is okay, isn't it? (Unless you have a dust allergy )

castlesintheair · 31/03/2009 14:40

I am trying to look after myself and not put everyone else's needs first. Today I succeeded by taking DD2 to the childminder as normal for 3 hours and coming home to have a sleep (she was up most of the night and I keep fainting) instead of going to help in the DCs school like I usually do. Still feel bad about it though but am proud of myself for not struggling on, as usual

HeadFairy · 31/03/2009 14:40

What's your dh's job Pruners

Original poster
Pruners · 31/03/2009 14:42

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HeadFairy · 31/03/2009 14:46

Blimey, that's going to be a tough read. Fascinating though. Is it in any way linked to things like the fact that the egg that created me was actually made 67 years ago in my mum and was therefore adapted to life 67 years ago (ie during the war, rationing, high levels of stress etc) and not life now which can explain lots of the health problems of our generation? I think that's one of the most mind boggling things ever!

Original poster
Pruners · 31/03/2009 17:26

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SunshineIsAMiracleCure · 31/03/2009 17:32

that's a really interesting thought headfairy - is that what molecular evolution is then pruners, or not?

as for me, am thinking about taking up offer for free level 1 counselling course just to improve communication skills and so on as part of wider personal enrichment - then I thought, would it be nice to be a counsellor?

PlumpChocEggyBaps · 31/03/2009 17:34

I'm trying to work on standing up for myself more, especially within my family. But I don't know if anyone would call that improving myself. (Especially those who are used to me bing a bit of a doormat)

I'd like to build my self-confidence with regards to making friends, but that's a bit of a huge task to contemplate at the moment!

Original poster
Pruners · 01/04/2009 07:31

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Original poster
Pruners · 01/04/2009 07:32

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BonsoirAnna · 01/04/2009 08:33

Pruners - I think that the art of peaceful negotiation and compromise (conflict resolution) is really one of the most complex skills that humans can acquire - and many people never get anywhere near acquiring it!

It is therefore unsurprising that MNers, who are generally an articulate, self-examining group who would like harmonious relationships with their families and friends, are looking to improve their conflict resolution skills.

HeadFairy · 01/04/2009 11:32

Pruners - your dh does have an interesting job. Is he super brainy?

I was reading about future developments in disease management in the Times this weekend, all about how Syphillis used to be a real killer but we've developed more resistance to it now so now it's just a serious disease as opposed to a fatal one, and how the most successful viruses are the ones that don't kill the host too quickly (like HIV). Fascinating.

The thing I was talking about WRT the egg that made me was actually created during the war was a theory I read about in The New Scientist I think. It was all about how our circumstances change too quickly for evolution to keep up. I think it was in the context of the obesity crisis in the West. For example, the egg that created me was made in my mum during the war, when there wasn't much food due to rationing and there were high levels of stress (my mum was actually conceived during an air raid, my grandmum was scared so my grandfather thought he'd take her mind off it ), so the eggs that were created then were adapted for that world and not the current one with minimal stress and plentiful food. The theory is we're storing fat because at a genetic level we were programmed to be born in to a world of little food. It's pretty mind blowing when you start thinking about things like that.

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