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feeling really lonely -can't seem to fit in on playgroup/play-date circuit, feel on constant rejection alert

81 replies

MissChief · 15/12/2008 21:15

sounds rather pathetic, I know, could do with pulling myself up by my b ootstraps and just getting on with life but ifeel lonely, isolated and unable to fit in where we live in any meaningful sense. Been here nearly 3 yrs but never somehow clicked and felt at home here even though i love it in theory - beautiful, lively small town, good community etc. i feel so unconfident with others, i can fake it to some extent and do the usaula asking lots of questions about others' dcs at playgroup etc, but i often feel people are backing off thinkging i[m a weirdo. I haen[t felt i can really be myself qith anyone here - the fun, relaxed, at peae with herself person. It doesn[t help that one of my dcs has moderate sn and has some problems at school with socialising (where does that come from?!), being bullied and he's not in with the "in crowd" and nor am I. I've also been battling depression and have confessed as much to a couple of mums whom \i now think i shouldn[t have trusted, one at least is a real gossip. I've not been invited back to her house since admitting to my problem even though sh[es been round here a few times. A shame for my youngest who loves her ds. Many people seem to have had their children here and have formed close NCT-based gorups which are impossible to break in on unless one is super-confident, got a trendy job/clever, confident "normal" child etc etc.
I'm fairly successful on paper -had good job until recently, dh does well, nice house, am not ugly nor fat but am retreating in on myself and not got the confidence to fight back. Am hving cbt, exercise, loads, good diet, done PTA etc.

OP posts:
ninah · 18/12/2008 12:56

you are a clique of one - very exclusive.

MissChief · 18/12/2008 12:58

hah! Should i be out & proud about it (instead of paranoid and lonely)?!

OP posts:
ninah · 18/12/2008 12:59

yeah
then the bggrs will want to join yours

Ripeberry · 18/12/2008 13:06

...

babylovessanta · 18/12/2008 15:36

"People in cliques are NOT confident at all!"

I can't agree more - i have thought this for along time.

MissChief · 20/12/2008 11:05

hmm, at heart still not convinced! I know what you're saying, but they damn well seem pretty confident to me, power in numbers and all that. Got really upset again about it all yesterday, then a (non-mum) friend confided similar worries to me, had actually been reduced to tears after one social occasion with the local clique in full flow. Are we both pathetic or what?!

OP posts:
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