HELP! People who have moved to the country from London I need your advice (long, sorry)...

[CountessDracula]

Am having a mare

We live in London currently in a lovely house in v nice area (which we are just finishing doing up) with lots of friends, great primary schools, dd just settled in brilliant nursery, easy journey to work etc...

AND NOW....dh has been offered an excellent job in Winchester. I grew up there and am tbh not overly keen on going back, though if I look at it objectively I can see the benefits (near parents, bigger house with garden 10 x size of current one, no planes, traffic etc, dh will have much chiller lifestyle, we will get to do country things (whatever those are, stumbling around in shite IME))

BUT... I love living in London. I have lived here for 20 years, I love it. When I go to the country I go bonkers. Everything is so slow and annoying. The shops are crap. The food is awful and even nice restaurants give you bloody baby corn and mange tout with everything. Culture is non-existant (I love theatre, opera, gigs etc and go a lot). I will miss all my friends. Plus I will have to commute 4 days a week and it would add at least 40 mins each way onto my journey, but not sure I would really mind that as could sleep in the morning and work in the evening (or drink v&t lol!) I would still see dd in the evenings.

My question is, once I am there, would I chill out and stop being such an arsehole about all this or am I doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and woe? I don't want to go if so!

Other downsides - the schools are nowhere near as good, would have to pay for private in all probablility. There is nothing to do as a teenager but get pissed and take drugs. There is NO WAITROSE (ok that is my main problem I admit )

I really really want to do this for dh. He reckons he has no prospects in London. This firm tried to get him twice already and he turned them down (about 3 years ago). They are, for them, offering him the earth. He will take a paycut but will have much better prospects and life. I want to make him happy but I don't want to make myself miserable in the process.

WHAT DO I DO?

Maybe they do notice but are too polite to say anything

Nah it's normal. Anyone who wears make-up, clean clothes or a variety of outfits is viewed with suspicion.

I'm sure all those MNers who live in the country will be pleased to have it confirmed how ugly and old fashioned they are and that they can look forward to becoming early grandmothers of shop assistant daughters - nice!

This last bit reads like something from Jane Austin, you know: "Oh her gown is sooo last year and her manners rather countrified I'm afraid." I dare say some places are a bit behind London (some may say that is their charm) but I can assure all you who don't know Winchester, the people there are mainly just an extension of the same people you would meet in the posher parts of London (like Richmond). Some would say that was a bad thing: ask yourself where are all the born and bred Hampshire folk living now? I could tell you but don't want to offend anyone coming from that area. My point is, Winchester is not exactly a cultural no-go area and there are plenty of people there who regularly travel to London for work, entertainment and shopping. I actually feel a bit dowdy when I go back there for parental visits.

Gawd, this thread is now TOTALLY ridiculous. I'm 99.9% sure that all the daft hammed up descriptions of town, city and countryfolk are all just that, hammed up, designed to raise a titter. FFS people LIGHTEN UP !

As a 'provincial city dweller' (Worcester, tiny city in the West Mids), I have read and laughed at all of he descriptions on here, not offended by any of them. I know for a fact that the majority of the people who posted daffy 'pigeonhole' posts are intelligent folk (most of em bleeding heart liberals ) who don't really honestly believe that people in London are super-trendy up their own arse urbanites or that town folk are all Vicky Pollard, or that Country Folk are Bernard f*cking Matthews.

Rant over, most of the posts here are lighthearted banter. Fun.

Oh, how fitting. Did you know that Jane Austin is buried in Winchester Cathedral? CD can visit often.

Uwila, I don't want to make myself unbearable to all, but as a Wintonian (not born but bred there) can I tell you that JA is NOT buried in Winchester Cathedral despite the contrary often being said (on University Challenge no less recently). There is a memroial plaque to her there, but she is buried in the parish church of Chawton a few miles away.

I know I know, I need more of a life!

Gasp.... I hang my head in shame. I though she was under that plaque. Well, as you say it's not too far, so CD will be relieved to know that she can still visit often.

at morning paper!

Message withdrawn

Yes, Winchester folk are dead smart compared to the "East Enders" and "Little Britain" characters
populating these parts, or as Dannie (who lives down the road from me) once memorably said to me "It reminds me of Bulgaria"

LOL Cam

Having thought about this some more, as an exLondon resident, it would not be the thought of leaving London life which would bother me, it's the thought of commuting back to work that would make it a definite no-no.

When I relocated to MK from Twickenham my daily commute went down from an hour+ (to travel 14 miles!) to 7 minutes as my employer relocated as well.

Commuting just adds hours of dead time to your day and is utterly pointless - I usd to be going home on the train thinking, in 12 hours I be doing this again in the opposite direction.

Cod, my dad used to be resident playwright there, many years ago.

Iota: I agree. Actually the best thing about LEAVING London for me is that DH is now home at 5.45 and it takes both of us less than 15 minutes to walk to work.

Message withdrawn

Ironically, we moved to MK with our employer, and 10 yrs later I am SAHM and dh has a new employer based in Staines - we should have kept the flat in Twickenham

what category do people who work a drive away from their home come into?

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes i am shouting! try to get me to f-ing move near you and now you're buggering off to f-ing winchester! last time i take property advice from you madam.

on a more serious note: really really think that if you're going to do it, should be something you want for yourself, not just for dh...that could have terrible repercussions imo.

but there are lots of things about the move that you want for yourself no? space, more babysitting, us down for weekend, clean air, sheep etc etc etc....

where are you in West Country mp?

Today we shall mainly be NOT moving to Winchester...

tomorrow who know?

CD, come and stay with me for a week. Winchester may seem like the centre of the universe

Cd, when do you have to make your mind up by?

So...???