HELP! People who have moved to the country from London I need your advice (long, sorry)...

[CountessDracula]

Am having a mare

We live in London currently in a lovely house in v nice area (which we are just finishing doing up) with lots of friends, great primary schools, dd just settled in brilliant nursery, easy journey to work etc...

AND NOW....dh has been offered an excellent job in Winchester. I grew up there and am tbh not overly keen on going back, though if I look at it objectively I can see the benefits (near parents, bigger house with garden 10 x size of current one, no planes, traffic etc, dh will have much chiller lifestyle, we will get to do country things (whatever those are, stumbling around in shite IME))

BUT... I love living in London. I have lived here for 20 years, I love it. When I go to the country I go bonkers. Everything is so slow and annoying. The shops are crap. The food is awful and even nice restaurants give you bloody baby corn and mange tout with everything. Culture is non-existant (I love theatre, opera, gigs etc and go a lot). I will miss all my friends. Plus I will have to commute 4 days a week and it would add at least 40 mins each way onto my journey, but not sure I would really mind that as could sleep in the morning and work in the evening (or drink v&t lol!) I would still see dd in the evenings.

My question is, once I am there, would I chill out and stop being such an arsehole about all this or am I doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and woe? I don't want to go if so!

Other downsides - the schools are nowhere near as good, would have to pay for private in all probablility. There is nothing to do as a teenager but get pissed and take drugs. There is NO WAITROSE (ok that is my main problem I admit )

I really really want to do this for dh. He reckons he has no prospects in London. This firm tried to get him twice already and he turned them down (about 3 years ago). They are, for them, offering him the earth. He will take a paycut but will have much better prospects and life. I want to make him happy but I don't want to make myself miserable in the process.

WHAT DO I DO?

wordsmith my worry is that I will have a worse standard of life. Can't even get a much bigger house ffs

Hurrah! (music to Howard's Way playing loudly in background through the cheers )

Winchester is expensive for housing. It's all those London commuters hiking up the prices

Can't really comment on that as I don't know your income or the area! Quality of life is based on more than a big house though isn't it? Can you get one that's big enough?

CD sorry havent got time to read whole thread but briefly we moved 'out' some years ago after 15 years of city life. Dh found it tough to start with. I was worried sick I would miss people, buildings, access to theatre etc but found all that here too. In actual fact I have been back a grand total of 5 times in so many years and always glad to get out again.Simply dont miss it at all and all the people we want to see come visit throughout the year or we spend our hols together in other places.

Good Luck wiht your decision making

But CD - Winchester has SNAP discos

S.N.A.P. = (Say no and phone) is a Crimestoppers initiative aimed at young people, encouraging them
to reject drugs and drug related crime.

So at least the worry about teenagers and drugs is covered and you have something for dd to do during her teen years

there is a good tyre fitter nearby as well

I think DH should take the job, you should rent out your house in London, rent a house in Winchester and commit to giving it 2 years then make a decision before DD starts school. I think it is impossible for you to make a decision now as you can't imagine what the non-London option will feel like doing it for real and no matter how much research you do / information you collect you will never know that. I felt exactly the same way before ttc DS- DH wanted to just go for it but I was a one-woman fact-finding machine wanting to know exactly what my life would be like with a child. Obviously, this is impossible and I had to take a leap of faith. Luckily it all worked out and at least your decision would be reversible!

Hmmm, we had "just say no" and that didn't work!

Everyone but me will have better quality of life, I will have to commute!

Touche re the prices thing!

Yes we can get a plenty big enough house

micheldever tyres would that be?

Always get my tyres there now!

yes!

I'm being chuffy and hippy

I used to have a boyfriend at Winchester College (and his dad was a teacher there). No more drugs in Winchester than anywhere else.

Message withdrawn

no it hasn't beety

Quite rightly the rest of the country doesn't want to be called "the country" but is of course comprised of numerous other cities, plus towns, villages, hamlets, isolated dwellings etc.

ks I am the wooly mammoth one, dh will be more like this

Cod, so you think all threads asking others' opinions on situations are a waste of time do you?
I shall remember that next time you are umming an erring over whether you should buy that combined egg cosy/penis warmer

You must have funny shaped eggs in your neck of the woods, CD.

Yes you'd be moving (back) to Wessex cd. If you hadn't been brought up there it would probably be easier for you to make a decision. I don't think I could move to certain parts of Wiltshire for the same reason.

PMSL at the 'progression' of this thread.

I have nothing constructive to add, other than there's no point in moving if you truly feel it will make you miserable.