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Original poster

HELP! People who have moved to the country from London I need your advice (long, sorry)...

432 replies

CountessDracula · 16/03/2005 13:25

Am having a mare

We live in London currently in a lovely house in v nice area (which we are just finishing doing up) with lots of friends, great primary schools, dd just settled in brilliant nursery, easy journey to work etc...

AND NOW....dh has been offered an excellent job in Winchester. I grew up there and am tbh not overly keen on going back, though if I look at it objectively I can see the benefits (near parents, bigger house with garden 10 x size of current one, no planes, traffic etc, dh will have much chiller lifestyle, we will get to do country things (whatever those are, stumbling around in shite IME))

BUT... I love living in London. I have lived here for 20 years, I love it. When I go to the country I go bonkers. Everything is so slow and annoying. The shops are crap. The food is awful and even nice restaurants give you bloody baby corn and mange tout with everything. Culture is non-existant (I love theatre, opera, gigs etc and go a lot). I will miss all my friends. Plus I will have to commute 4 days a week and it would add at least 40 mins each way onto my journey, but not sure I would really mind that as could sleep in the morning and work in the evening (or drink v&t lol!) I would still see dd in the evenings.

My question is, once I am there, would I chill out and stop being such an arsehole about all this or am I doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and woe? I don't want to go if so!

Other downsides - the schools are nowhere near as good, would have to pay for private in all probablility. There is nothing to do as a teenager but get pissed and take drugs. There is NO WAITROSE (ok that is my main problem I admit )

I really really want to do this for dh. He reckons he has no prospects in London. This firm tried to get him twice already and he turned them down (about 3 years ago). They are, for them, offering him the earth. He will take a paycut but will have much better prospects and life. I want to make him happy but I don't want to make myself miserable in the process.

WHAT DO I DO?

OP posts:
oliveoil · 17/03/2005 14:39

Hmmmmmm. I moved from a nice area to a rubbish (cheaper) one so I could work p/time and be near MIL for free childcare and I still think the area is poo-poo-la-roo and would move back tomorrow.

BUT the advantages far far outway crap stuff like the locals accent (shudder) no decent shops, bars etc etc.

Write down a pros and cons list to see.

Also, do not move as if you are doing everyone a favour (like I did) grumbling and mumbling as you go, it is fun for no one.

xx

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 14:39

RIGHT THEN

Who is going to find me the perfect house in the country to rent for the summer? Doesn't have to be within walking distance of the station but no more than 5 miles away.

Will not consider anything within earshot of the motorway or A34 (which rules out a large chunk of the area), neither anything on a main road. Could be in the city (!) or in the countryside. Decent garden a must and at least 3 beds pref 4. Must accept children and dogs. Up to 2k a month, could go higher, happy of course to go lower!

Free trip to the National Gallery for the winner (snigger)

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 14:40

(it is beety, I am appeasing the masses)

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Cam · 17/03/2005 14:42

Is this the m/net comp for this month

Beetroot · 17/03/2005 14:50

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Message withdrawn

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 14:51

not too convenient for winchester either beety!

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 14:53

Anyone want to rent a nice house in SW14? 4 big beds, 2 bathrooms etc...

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Enid · 17/03/2005 15:17

hurrrumph.

was asked for opinion.

Have had situation almost identical to Cd's.

Gave opinion.

Why it has provoked general chippiness I do not know.

Beetroot · 17/03/2005 15:31

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Message withdrawn

Beetroot · 17/03/2005 15:34

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Enid · 17/03/2005 15:38

yes and thanked you on another thread, sorry should have mailed, will do x E

JoolsToo · 17/03/2005 15:45

Having moved to the Lakes from Manchester can honestly say I love it! Always had a love affair with the area anyway.

I go back to Manchester quite often to see family and can say that when I get off the motorway and onto the built up streets a gloom comes over me - it feels so hemmed in - even though I lived there happily all my life.

I do have to drive a few miles to the nearest supermarket and 18/20 miles for some decent shopping but its so scenic doing it, it doesn't bother me - its a great day out.

There's plenty to do here when it rains too!

roisin · 17/03/2005 15:47

JoolsToo - I didn't know you were in the Lakes! Whereabouts are you?

JoolsToo · 17/03/2005 15:47

near Newby Bridge?

roisin · 17/03/2005 15:49

We're in Cumbria, but not the pretty bit! [whispers] Barrow-in-Furness - it's not as bad as you think

So we drive through Newby Bridge on the way to .. well .. anywhere/everywhere really!

Last year we had a meet-up at Grizedale. Will you come along if we arrange something this summer?

JoolsToo · 17/03/2005 15:52

oh deffo - if I'm welcome!

I've only been here permanently since January but do most of my shopping in Barrow (thats the 18 miles bit - Kendal the other way) or Barra as the locals say! Still not fully familiar with it yet but have found the new 'Next'! I have been in the centre a couple of times but don't know where to park for the centre. My Manc pal moved here first and she lives literally across the road so she's showing me about!

uwila · 17/03/2005 16:07

Oh, how funny. Don't take this the wrong way, CD, but it appears we do have something in common after all. So, I may have to ditch my scalp to toe perception of our views. I am a big city lover (I am from Chicago). When we moved to England, we lived in Winchester. I hated it. Little by little I am making my way closer to London.

This maybe isn't a whole lot better for you, but what about moving to Woking? DH could commute one way and you the other way.

Also, didn't you just get a different job and manage an extra day off so that you could see more of your DD? Seems a bit counterproductive to spend more time on the train. Oh, and I can tell you from experience, whe that train comes into Winchester from Bournemouth in the morning it is already full. And the one back out of Waterloo (if you have to go that far) in the evening, you literally have to watch the boards and the second the track is announced you have to take off running for the track, or you will be standing all the way to Woking, and possibly all the way to Winchester.

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear.

Lonelymum · 17/03/2005 17:07

CD if you don't want to be within earshot of the M3 you are looking at renting maybe Teg Down way or Weeke. Even from my parent's exclusive property in the centre you can hear the M3 faintly (although they deny it - perhaps their hearing is going!)

I don't care at all if you move there or not and I don't even mind at your Londoner's attitude to the rest of the country - I was similar when I lived in London - but I do think that if all you can think about is what you will leav behind you, then you should not move to Winchester (or anywhere else either). I have moved many times as an adult and what I have discovered is, you can't spend your time missing what you had or you will never settle in your new place. You have to embrace what the new place has to offer be that mud, sailing, amateur theatre, whatever. If you feel you can't do that (and I don't say that judgementally, just matter-of-factly) then I would recommend you don't move. HTH.

bundle · 17/03/2005 17:08

roisin i lived in barrow for a couple of months...wasn't that keen i'm afraid. but at least i did get to interview alan rickman. swoon...

lalaa · 17/03/2005 17:19

Got half way through and gave up, so apologies if any of this has already been said.....

I moved from Winchester a year ago (to Bath). I had previously lived in Twickenham and worked in central London. I did the whole commuting thing and lasted three months (really). It was bloody awful. And that was without kids and before the trains got really awful (1999). My husband lasted for 8 months before he got work locally.

I feel quite fond of Winchester as I had my dd there (labour ward is fab, post-natal was rubbish). My midwife was flaky, however, but that's the luck of the draw as I did see others who were much better.

In terms of culture, etc, we went to cinema, didn't go to the theatre (not our thing), and used to eat out a bit. I second the Hotel du Vin recommendation, but otherwise, it's fairly standard, and there are hundreds of pizza restaurants!

I still have good friends I made through the NCT, but otherwise I don't miss Winchester. We actually moved more rurally this time.

London is really accessible for popping up for pleasure but, IMO, the commuting thing means absolutely no life. There are usually no seats by the time the train gets to Winchester so the 53 min commute is usually done standing up or sitting down on the floor outside the loo. Really unpleasant.

I think the suggestion that your dh commutes there for 2 days a week sounds really really sensible.

JoolsToo · 17/03/2005 17:21

hey! my old company did the Hotel du Vin!

lalaa · 17/03/2005 17:25

Also, just remember: good primary school is St Faith's. Church school, with an intake of 18 into Reception. Most of the secondary schools have pretty good reputations and the sixth form is highly regarded.

iota · 17/03/2005 17:27

Why do so many Londoners buy second homes in the country?

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 17:32

Lalaa, Uwila - can I ask if you travelled first or second class on the train? One of my non-negotiables is that I travel first class - if I do that and still don't get a seat then the whole thing is a no-no IMO

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 17:35

also where in London did you work, ie did you have a bad journey after getting into Waterloo which made things worse? It currently takes me 10 mins from waterloo to my desk, 15 on a bad day

Uwila, we have thought about somewhere in between the two as you say, but then would lose benefit of being near grandparents for dd so I think it's here or there really

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