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Original poster

HELP! People who have moved to the country from London I need your advice (long, sorry)...

432 replies

CountessDracula · 16/03/2005 13:25

Am having a mare

We live in London currently in a lovely house in v nice area (which we are just finishing doing up) with lots of friends, great primary schools, dd just settled in brilliant nursery, easy journey to work etc...

AND NOW....dh has been offered an excellent job in Winchester. I grew up there and am tbh not overly keen on going back, though if I look at it objectively I can see the benefits (near parents, bigger house with garden 10 x size of current one, no planes, traffic etc, dh will have much chiller lifestyle, we will get to do country things (whatever those are, stumbling around in shite IME))

BUT... I love living in London. I have lived here for 20 years, I love it. When I go to the country I go bonkers. Everything is so slow and annoying. The shops are crap. The food is awful and even nice restaurants give you bloody baby corn and mange tout with everything. Culture is non-existant (I love theatre, opera, gigs etc and go a lot). I will miss all my friends. Plus I will have to commute 4 days a week and it would add at least 40 mins each way onto my journey, but not sure I would really mind that as could sleep in the morning and work in the evening (or drink v&t lol!) I would still see dd in the evenings.

My question is, once I am there, would I chill out and stop being such an arsehole about all this or am I doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and woe? I don't want to go if so!

Other downsides - the schools are nowhere near as good, would have to pay for private in all probablility. There is nothing to do as a teenager but get pissed and take drugs. There is NO WAITROSE (ok that is my main problem I admit )

I really really want to do this for dh. He reckons he has no prospects in London. This firm tried to get him twice already and he turned them down (about 3 years ago). They are, for them, offering him the earth. He will take a paycut but will have much better prospects and life. I want to make him happy but I don't want to make myself miserable in the process.

WHAT DO I DO?

OP posts:
wordsmith · 17/03/2005 13:07

Enid it sounds lovely where you are. Where is it?

elliott · 17/03/2005 13:12

I just can't read this any more....LONDON IS NOT THE ONLY CITY IN THE UK....
nor is the rest of non-London UK the 'burbs' any more than it is green fields and gambolling lambs and cow pats....

I feel better now

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:17

Good well done elliot

We go to the museums (science, nat history etc)or the galleries (dd love the tate modern, national gallery for eg)

The Aquarium is another fave

There are loads of different kids theatres etc and countless cinemas so you can always find something to suit you.

4 or 5 soft play places within 15 mins drive

We do go to Richmond Park every day come rain or shine to walk the dog, so she just gets togged up in her waterproofs.

OP posts:
PuffTheMagicDragon · 17/03/2005 13:20

CD, whatever you decide, can I thank you for starting this thread, it has had me in stitches!

RudyDudy · 17/03/2005 13:21

here here - my favourite thread of the moment

Cam · 17/03/2005 13:22

CD, what do we do when it rains? We go to our state-of-the-art (god I hate that phrase but can't resist it healthclub for a swim, maybe a little steam and sauna and a healthy snack in the restaurant. Or to a cinema to a very cheap earlybird showing of the latest release. Or to Debenhams restaurant which has a fantastic panoramic view of the English Channel and watch the weather roll in dramatically. Or stay at home.

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:22

fgs stop being so huffy and chippy you lot.

I am only telling it how it is

I didn't start this thread to annoy you, just to ask if anyone had had a similar experience to me and how they coped with it.

SO LIGHTEN UP

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:23

Ahem Cod, you see, mainly cafe based activity in the non-London regions of the UK to (was that pc enough?)

OP posts:
beatie · 17/03/2005 13:23

CD - it might be worth you having a look at the Hantsweb website - under children - things to do. There are loads of things going on that you might not know about. I have been pleasantly suprised to find a lot of children's theatre in the city where I live, I only only one museum to visit but it has great exhibitions on for children, there's an aquarium too and in the summer there was an openair cinema by the seafront for a weekend playing Disney films for free.

The country parks are great, come rain or shine. There are a few around the M3, M27 vicinity. They all have holiday activities for children, you can have parties there. Manor Farm, not too far from Winchester, off the M27, is delightful for young children. It is like a Victorian model farm. We love it.

Don't be afraid that there won't be things to do for chidlren outside of London. there really is a lot going on.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 17/03/2005 13:25

CD CD, hope you don't mean me (huffy and chippy - like it ). My dh feels exactly the same as you do about London (West London to be precise). It used to drive me bonkers but I've accepted it, told him I'm retiring to Cornwall when the time comes and he can stay here .

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:25

I just remember the winters going on forever when I was young and growing up in my non-Capital City based rural idyll

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:26

Puff surely you are puffy and scaly

Didn't mean anyone in partic

OP posts:
wordsmith · 17/03/2005 13:27

CD, I don't think anyone is being particularly chippy, but it is a bit daft to think that all cultural life centres on London. I know most of it does, but there is life outside there. Can't speak for Winchester but everything you do on a rainy day you could do in any major UK City. eg I'm 20 mins from Birmingham. We have a fantastic science museum, art gallery, sealife centre, canal network, there are loads of soft play places, Steam Railways.... OK I know there's not as much as London but it's only 90 mins away by train! Even in Cornwall you have the Tate St Ives and the Eden Project, both knocking spots off national competition.

It must be difficult after years of living in London but you will have a better standard of living and perhaps, dare I say it, become a bit more 'open'!

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:29

I was asking as I don't remember there being much and I wanted to know!

We just have everything on our doorstep here and it makes me to think of giving it all up.

I'm sure there will be loads to do

When we go to my parents or the PILs you have to get in the car to get a pint of milk ffs

OP posts:
PuffTheMagicDragon · 17/03/2005 13:31

With dh, there is a big element of fear that if we moved out of London, financially we would be unable to return a few years down the line. Bless him, he tried it once (only 40 miles out fgs) and just couldn't cope. I was v relieved we'd rented out this house because he really would have been miserable, whereas I am more flexible about these things.

RudyDudy · 17/03/2005 13:32

At the risk of sounding chippy...why assume that moving out of London automatically increases standard of living / quality of life? If we did my DH would have a longer commute so me and DS would see less of him which would be a negative impact. Surely it's just a different type of life and both have pros and cons - hence it being so difficult for CD to choose.

beatie · 17/03/2005 13:32

Hantswebsitehere

Here's the Hants web - things to do in Hampshire with children link (if it works)

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:35

Thank you Rudydudy, exactly. TBH if I got a house within walking distance of the station I would get little more for my money there.

We have friends who moved out 2 years ago and are currently moving back for eg. Not for everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:35

thanks beatie

OP posts:
PuffTheMagicDragon · 17/03/2005 13:35

Are there any gorgeous 4 storey Georgian townhouses near the cathedral?

Just wondering, I'd love a georgian town house .

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:36

Hmmm, searched Art Events (ie theatre etc for kids) by town and bloody winchester is not even in the list!

OP posts:
wordsmith · 17/03/2005 13:36

Yes RD, agree but didn't CD herself say she would have a better standard of living? Apologies if I have got that one wrong. I think you can have a great standard of living in London, as anywhere, if you earn enough and don't have to commute (ie live near to where you work and can get there easily and quickly). But CD has already said she doesn't mind commuting herself, which would be my big drawback, not having commuted for years.

Original poster
CountessDracula · 17/03/2005 13:38

OMG I could take up sailing again! I love sailing, had totally forgotten about that - we used to sail 2 or 3 times a week when I was about 8 to 16 (selfish old git father sold boat then grrrr)

Right defo moving.

OP posts:
wordsmith · 17/03/2005 13:39

Glad you've decided CD! I would love to do sailing. Bit problematical where I live though. I would give my eye teeth to live by the sea.

RudyDudy · 17/03/2005 13:40

Oh, is that the end of the thread then