MN Little Italy 7

[francagoestohollywood]

Ciao, hello, welcome!

can I ask your opinion ladies? I was going to start a thread but then thought would start with you guys first. I have never had the slightest interest in getting married, neither has dp. Mainly because I have never had strong feelings towards it, having always thought, who needs a piece of paper etc and more recently - that we have a child together and what bigger commitment can you have. I have started thinking about it recently however and whether we should reconsider now there is ds. All the what ifs if anything happened to one of us plus the practicalities financially-ie do any tax benefits make any massive difference? any allowances if anything happened to one or the other? I don't want to sound mercenary or anything, I have just started to feel guilty that our attitude could have an averse effect on ds at some point. What do you guys think, any advice?

Well hello all ............We are home. going to do the birth announcement and story on the other thread ...SO you can read all the gory details . Thanks for your lovely messages - you guys are all just great . I will read the catch up threads when I get a mo but sitting is still a bit tender !!!!!!!!!!!
Baby Emily is doing well - her second name is my surname ...goes with the song Amazing ........

Rosa! Welcome home! Great to have you back and welcome Emily! Off to read about your gory details...

Rosas story

gio re marriage. thought exactly the same as you. however for the same reason as yours we got married when dd1 was 11 months. felt I betrayed my principles a bit but I think, unfortunately, it makes it easier in terms of practicalities if something should happen to any/both of us. biggest shock of my life was to find out when dd2 was born that dd1 and dd2 would not be considered in the same terms by the law in re to inheritance because dd1 was born out of wedlock (had to re-register her birth!).
I do not know all the ins and out of the law so it might be that you can have all the advantages of a marriage without being married in other ways - sure brangelina can help.
I feel somehow it's not really me but it does not really matter.
big plus: although wedding was small and on the beaches of sardinia I got to buy and wear a GORGEOUS Armani dress. For this reason alone not only I'd get married but I'd get married again to wear it again!!

Rosa... will speak in a minute

ROSA!!!! congratulation on the super fast delivery. how come you did not mention once the pain??????? is it just me that for the next 3 years cannot talk about anything else??? am I a wimp?????
Lovely lovely name (can get the second name though, but never mind). give me a clue about dd1's name.How is she taking it? did she like her, was it yellow, present from dd2? {shock] at dh asking for epidural, mine was not so secretely disappointed that I did have one with dd2.

Rosa, hothell how can I get your numbers? not sure what I need to do to CAT.

Lovely to have you back Rosa, good thing you ignored our advice to wait a bit! But I think you kind of know when it's really it.

Gio, re the getting married thing, we were the same we had been together 15 years before actually getting married, but we did it when I got pregnant with DD. Partly it was pressure from DH's family and partly it was for the legal/financial side. Don't know the specifics but it does make a difference for some things.

I had always taken the anarchistic attitude of "it's nothing to do with church or state who I'm living/sleeping with", but on reflection I decided it was
a) no big deal
b) an excuse for a party (actually very small, but we had a lovely meal in a very nice restaurant)
c) a good time to buy myself a very nice dress (in black!)

Rosa helllllo . Lovely birth story, and sooooo quick!!! How's dd1 coping with the arrival? are the stitches healing? Is Emily feeding? etc etc etc.

Gio, me and dh got married in 2001 in Comune in Italy. It was mostly for the practicality, for a bit of "romanticism" and for the fact that we were living abroad and it meant a lot to have a party with our friends and family (plus I got to splash on a gorgeous dress and pair of golden sandals!!! )

practicalities.

(I don't think that we would have married so quickly had we been living in Italy, if that makes sence)

Welcome back Rosa, am so glad everything's going well. Amazing birth story, so you only had about 3 contrsctions and she was out?
Lucky you getting English names past your DH, I didn't even manage one.

Gio, I'm not married and don't really intend taking the big step. Mainly because DP isn't yet divorced (grrr lazy git!), but also because of other issues such as inheritance, what with him having a child from previous marriage. As far as I understand it in Italy there are no tax breaks as such, only if your spouse was a dependent, i.e. not working(I asked at the Agenzie di entrate when doing my taxes). As for other financial things, it doesn't really make a huge difference, other than perhaps inheritance. If you're not married just make sure you make a will so that your DP does have some access to your assets. Also, we've taken the extra step of making each other signatories on our bank accounts as there is no guarantee you will be able to access funds even if you were married (as my uncle found out to his cost).

As far as DD goes, DP is still her next of kin, even if we're not married, so no problems there.

I'm not avoiding marriage as a matter of principle, it's just not a "me" thing. Also, everything's in my name and I'd positively lose out by getting married [evil cackle].

God you are evil !!!!!!!!!!!

I am I'm now feeling sick from eating too much white chocolate. That'll teach me to gloat at my vast (not!) untouchable wealth.

Off to Rinascente to buy DP's birthday pressie for tomorrow. I need to find a nice recipe for a cake too. I always make a triple chocolate thing with crème fraiche ganache but even I'm bored with it now. Am pondering whether to make a chocolate sponge pudding instead.

I want the recipe for the triple chocolate thing.

OK, here goes. It's actually a double chocollate cake but I add a melty layer in the middle:

100g palin chocolate (at least 70% cocoa), melted
200g. self raising flour, OR plain flour with 1 bustina di lievito vanigliato
30/40g. cocoa powder
175g. butter
175g. brown sugar
4 egg, separated
a bit of milk
Extra plain choc for grating (o spezzato into little pieces)

Topping - tub of crème fraiche + a 200g. bar of cioccolato fondente 70% + a few drops of amaretto (optional)

Cream butter and sugar, mix in the melted chocolate, add the egg yolks. Fold in the flour (+lievito), about a third at a time. Add a splash of milk if too stiff. Whisk up the egg whites, fold into mixture. Pour half the amount into a cake tin, sprinkle with grated(broken chocoalte pieces, top with rest of mixture. Bake at 180° for about 40 mins.

To make ganache, just fold melted chocolate into the creme fraiche, add a few drops of amaretto o altro liquore, spread over the cake thickly and put in the fridge to set.

Alternatively you coould do 2 cake tins and split the ganache between the middle and the top. I only have one, hence the grated choc bit in the middle.

mmmmm delicious!
Will def try it.... not sure about palin chocolate... is it a chocolate with guns???

Lol, yes!

Forgot to say sift the cocoa in with the flour but I'm sure you sussed that.

I sometimes add about 30/40g. of ground almonds instead of some of the flour, it improves the texture.

We went to see some dolls at the weekend, DD likes Baby Alive but it gives me the creeps the way it moves its mouth. Reminds me of Chuckie.

never seen a baby alive before!

I mean the doll of course!

ohh, i remember chuckie!

Congrats to Rosa, i read the story on the other thread.

Here is am getting pissed off with being the cleaner/cooker/washer/tidyer blah blah, shouted at dp for doing fuck all with the excuse that he works. I cannot cope with all the crap. And not one thankyou.

Honeymoon period definetely over.

oh hot it so sound like the pippi household. sorry to hear the honeymoon period is over...at least now we know there really is one. Stuck to your guns now...
here we had just cleared the air a couple of weeks ago with a massive row but we had been walking on eggshells for a few months. It was the same with dd1 so maybe it is a thing we all have to go through. sad and idiotic methink.

to me it .is always the bit where you are not recognised for all you do that drives me insane. how I can be allowed to sit and do nothing if I come home from work with the sentence 'I had a crappy day'... but never taken into consideration if I say that as a SAHM. boh!

anyway, when can we meet? before xmas pls!

Congrats Rosa

In my house I'm the go towork person, DH stays at home in the PM with the kids and does the house things. I really miss just being at home with the kids. BUT in the summer I work from home so I get June, July, August and September with them 24 7. I really look forward to it.

hot I sympathise, sounds very similar to a moan I had on here a few days ago. hope you can clear the air.
thanks for advice re marriage guys, am going to put my pondering hat on.....

Hot, I had that too, I think it's a common thing with men. Some days I never got to eat yet DP still expected dinner to be ready when he got home, or the house to be clean and tidy. It must be worse for you with 2 and no help.
I think having a small baby is very taxing on most relationships, it certainly put a strain on ours. Things didn't really get better until DD was about a year old and more "interactive".

Does anyone know where I can get a pudding basin from? One that goes in the oven. I want to make a chocolate sponge pudding tonight but it's not the same in a tin.

I tried one of those liste nozze shops but they had nothing ovenproof. I'm not going to get one in time for tonight am I? Looks like I'll have to go for brownies and chocolate custard. I did so want a stodgy pud though.

Oh dear hot. You are right to be pissed off, I think partners should do even more around the house when there is a new baby. I seemed to spend most of the time breast feeding when mine where little, there wasn't much time to do much more.
Dh is very cooperative, but I got quite pissed off at the time I was doing the translation, because it was taken for granted that I was the one to look after the children when they were unwell, and to be the main person in charge of the shopping, activity organizer etc....

And yes, babies can be taxing on a relationship, before we had ds we had never had a fight. When he arrived, we started to fight on who had more sleep....