MN Little Italy 7

[francagoestohollywood]

Ciao, hello, welcome!

Rosa, I need your help, I have a MN friend off to Venice, she has DD around 8 and DSs 3 and 1.5. Any ideas what she can do? Her DH will be off at a conference or something.

Franca when you were in england did you dress your dd with a bikin or costume intero when at the swimming pool? and you brits living in italy what do you do?

rosa thanks for thinking of me as wise... unfortunately I am everything but, especially in regards to sleeping matters. we used to sit by the corridor and put her back. now I wonder if we were to hard. who knows what we'll do with dd2. all I can say is it's not forever and you'll be able to laugh at all this (although impossible to believe at the mo). also it depend how much you mind having your children in bed with you everynight...

Pippi, never took the dc to a swimming pool in the UK . But took them to the beach in the UK, and dd has always worn (and still wears) the mutande. I think costume intero is scomodo and no way she is going to wear the top of the bikini, not until she shows boobs.
I've also manage never to buy a proper bikini for her (and it is not easy, bit easier in Italy), this summer I got lovely costumi (cioe' mutande da mare) from du pareil au meme. Lovely cotton with nice patterns (flowers, apple, small fish)

Ciao bella(s). Just getting this on my threads list. Hope you're all having wonderful days!

The 1.5 and 3 if in a buggy and she is on her own one hint ....If it has brakes that stick out more than the wheels e.g they do not go sideways then cut them back - or every time she goes to do a bridge the brakes will jam on. Also wheels get stuck in waterbus steps when you go up backwards - very few buggies can go up the bridges forwards !! Apart from that -
Take vaporetto ride up the grand canal they love looking at boats. Get on at the start of the journey so you can bag seats outside - best at the back. Take lift up bell tower - more adapt for 8 and 3 yr old.
If nice weather go to the Lido its flat . At the end of the grand viale turn left toward hosp and there is a big park ( well big for us) with playground. Also the beach is there if she fancies it The other playground is either on Murano or up near the Guglie. bridge but its naf. Other big squares to 'run in' San Polo, Ghetto - esp in pm there are a few children there. No real buggy friendly places to eat - I tend to go in and fold up the thing unless lots of space. If she needs anything specific pls ask away can ramble for hours !!!!
Gio good for Ikea re the furniture.
Franca you would loathe what I put dd in on the beach - as sun suit or mutande with a sun top - but she does have delicate skin!!
In Italia she got a few funny looks but in the Uk she ended up more in a jumper than a costume this summer !

Ciao tutti - the start of a new thread is a good time for me to re-enter the conversations! I hope you are all doing well - maybe I should re-introduce myself as it has been sometime since I posted in this elite club!

We (dh, ds-32mths) moved to Italy last April - originally to Trentino (Val di Sole). Dh then got a job in Rome where I have spent the last year (and loved it!). I am now pg again (13 weeks) and begrudged paying out for Asilo so we (ds and I) have returned to Trentino (where we have our residency, v. small village) so that he can go to Asilo. Dh is still working in Rome, but visiting at w/e. We have had this arrangement now for about 3 weeks, so far so good. We also are going to be renovating our house here so it makes sense for me to be here.

Well that's me - I have been keeping a very occasional eye on what you are all up to, but it would be nice to have introductions from everyone (if you can be bothered!).

Baby is due in March 09, and I am starting to get to grips with the Italian system - a bit nervous of what appears to (after one appointment) to be a fairly clinical approach to birth (rather than the midwife led care in the UK) - but I'm trying to be open minded! Any advice greatly appreciated - and I look forward to getting to know you all over the coming months

Ciao Tantik, nice to have more people on this thread

So, me: been in Italy 19 years (I am ancient), live outside Rome halfway up a mountain. Have a DD of 4 and DS 1.3. I supposedly make websites and sell internet services, but actually I have been mumsnetting all day for the last 2 years.

Trentino is lovely, we went there on holiday pre DCs.

tantik i love trentino. every year i try to go back then something happens.
i've got two dd one of 3.2 and one of 5months. we are in london.

re: swimwear. dd is sooo the odd one out with her costumino-mutasnde. she's received so many comments about it, from adults!!!! i refuse to give in. in punta ala she looked 'normal', no girl without boobs had bikini or costume intero. here she's stands out like a black sheep, 'polevina' (like she says).

Tantik welcome back . And good luck with the pg. I am Rosa in Venice with one dd 2.5 and another dd due mid Nov .
I have gone semi private with pg care and found birth No1 fine. Ok so it is not midwife followed from Day 1 but in hospital the midwife tends to the bith with a doc on hand ( the doc turned up as dd had cord round her neck ). They test you for more things than in the UK and ok you might pay a bit in 'ticket' charges they seem to cover a few more things than in the UK.
In Vce there is an epidural only Mon- Fri between 8-8 but I bet in Trentino it will be round the clock - they are far more organised. Am sure you will be ok and good luck with the house renovation.

Rosa, my friend said to pass on her thanks

Tantik, it's true about the more clinical approach here, but I think the standard is overall quite high, Italy has very low rates of maternal and infant mortality (possibly lowest in europe, anyone know?). Compared to some of the rest of the Italian health service this area is ok. Just make sure you get all your scan appointments etc. booked early. Anyway Trentino is practically Germany, you'll be fine.

That's funny about the epidural Rosa. I had 1 for both of mine but I wish I hadn't bothered for DS, as by the time they'd finished faffing around putting it in I was desperate to push and DS came out like a bolt of lightning. They sent DH out while putting it in too.

Gio, thanks for asking about my DD earlier, she is still crying at drop off, unfortunatly. Had a word with the teacher who says she's fine afterwards, but doesn't mix with the other kids. It's a language problem I think, combined with her shyness, I think we're going to have to resort to speaking Italian at home for a bit to get her to start talking.

Hi Pippi - we have mutanda sola here too. I'm not keen on interi and think bikinis look a bit silly on littlies. How weird they are in the UK! But then there is a lot of paedophile mania, no? Like the sight of infant nipples is going to send someone over the edge.

TanitK - welcome back. I remember you from when you were asking about moving over. Congrats on your new pg. As others have mentioned antenatal care here is excellent. I went totally with the public system and was very impressed with everything, I had twice the tests my sister had in the UK (strep B included) and more scans. You do have to book everything yourself, though, I had to ring around a lot for scans and the like. The birth I think is quite medicalised and they tend to be a little cs-happy in Italy (2nd highest rate after US apparently), but on the whole care is very good. You have to remember to make an appointment for the epidural a month before your due date to see if you're fit for it (no one told me and I went only 3 days before the DPP), but here in some hospitals in Lombardia it is available round the clock.

I just wanted to ask, what's the etiquette wrt to children's parties here? DD's had 2 invites already from 5yos in her class, but I really can't be bothered. One was in McD's but we were away that day anyway and there's another one next weekend in a play centre miles away. They seem to give these invites out to the whole class indiscriminately.

Will I become a pariah if I keep refusing[antisocial cow emoticon]? I mean, these children are 5yos and we'll never see them again after this year so surely it won't make any difference. I'll probably have to accept the odd invite from DD's year but it does seem a bit pointless accepting the big kids' ones. Are we supposed to get a pressie? Come si fa qui?

Also, has anyone read Gomorra? Is it worth reading or will it plunge me into depression?

Brang no idea at all !!!! But auguri - bet Franca will know.
I had my epidural interview 2 weeks before and only as I asked in the monitor time about it and I was sent up to see them. MInd you on reading Bimbisani - or whatever it was in the doc office the other day it said that I needed a ricetta from my doc di base. Anyway seeing my gyne on Mon and it is on my list of things - I seem to have a few questions !!!!
DD fell of the slide again today and has a black eye- its a tiny slide but thats 2 days in a row !
Sputnik no worries if I can be of any more help - shout .

I've no idea re. the etiquette for parties - but ds got an invite to a party after only 1 week at Asilo! He went (i need to get to know the mums) but my dh's cousin persuaded me that I didn't need to be there. So I went home and felt guilty the WHOLE time he was there - I certainly won't leave him again. He was fine - but he isn't even 3 yet. I felt like such a bad mum! (but given that it is a small village and everyone knows everyone i kind of justified it a bit). Please don't think badly of me....I am still learning the Italian ways and I think I got led astray this time! I even popped to the shop for a little present for a girl I didn't even know! I am so with you Brangelina on needing to learn the etiquette! Sorry I can't help anymore than offering my story!

Good to hear about the mortality rates - but less optimistic about the cs rates. I think the hospital here has low cs rates, so I don't think this is a problem. It is strange for me having to make all the appointments and not just have them turn up in the post! However it does mean I can go largely when I want to.

Tantik welcome back and congrats on pregnancy. I have 1 ds (23 mths) and live in Rome. First moved to Italy 13 years ago then went back to uk to do career thing (yawn) and then moved back 2 years ago.
Brange dont know etiquette re kids parties but have read Gomorra, is depressing reading but is very interesting as well I thought. Much more detail than film and gives a real idea of exactly how deep it all goes. Brave man!

ps Sputnik am sure dd will be fine when she gets to grips with the language a bit more but must be so difficult for you leaving her like that

Oh and Tantik think giving birth is more clinical here than UK but think level of attention giving to you and babies health here is way superior

anyone know where I could get a tall, thin cupboard to hold broom/mop and a few bits in- am I overlooking one in Ikea?
thanks

No, you need to go to an Italian store like Brico or even a big supermarket like Auchan/Iper or whatever. I've not seen one at Ikea but loads at Brico.

Got to dash, DD's "ballet" lesson calls.

Yes I love the fact that everyone here is assigned a paediatrician.

We actually managed no tears this morning. DD was bribed with an activity book. Chocolate is not enough, it seems. This could get expensive.

Brange I don't really know about the etiquette but I would only accept the invites from your DD's class if I were you, unless your DD knows and likes that particular kid. We have a party this weekend too. Gift ideas for a 5 yo boy, anyone?

Sputnik do you have a guinti al punto bookshop / Dimetra near you ?- They seem to be my refuge in times of birthday crisis.
However I admit to bulk buying an item when I see something in Auchan or similar for forthcoming birthdays / Christmas - then I forget I have them !!
Gio do you have a SME near you ? - I rattle on about them but they are pretty cheap !

you've been chatting loads ladies !!! This is the first time in the whole day that I managed to seat on a chair. Thank goodness dh is feeding the kids!

Tantik, welcome back and congrats on your 2nd pregnancy! I saw that the others managed to reassure you on the care you will get here, plus I think that Trentino has the lowest rate of c sections in the country. It'd be worthwhile to research if you are close to hospitals with midwifery led units, which are usually very good (I think there is one in Bolzano).

Pippi, don't give in, keep dd in her mutande! tell the adults to fuck off, I say. Why getting so prude about one's body so early? I don't understand. Of course I'm all in favour of sun tops for children with fair skin.

Brangelina, the etiquette is pretty much the same. If your dd is keen you take her to the party with a little present (I usually give books). I think you can start leaving them at the party when they get to 5, or depending on how they feel of course (unless you live in small trentino village where everyone know everyone ).

Sputnik glad to hear she didn't cry this morning. Also, good that she is ok after a little while. Certainly the language doesn't help. ANd she might be like my friend's dd. She spent her first few months at scuola materna studying the situation. Then she became the boss

Forgot to say: Tantink we are an Italian family and have recently moved back to Milan after yrs in Devon. I have a ds (6) and a dd (4)

Rosa come va l'occhio of your dd???

Ah Pippi, I took ds for swimming lesson on tuesday and he had to change in the women's spogliatoio (as I was supervising), with lots of other little girls (and other little boys) and no one batted an eyelid... I thought that this would have been impossible back in the UK.

rosa I forgot to say, thanks for the 'wise' but I am sooo not. remember how lost I was? not sure what we did (think just keep putting her back to bed and time out, oh and losing it a lot!) and whatever it was I am not so sure it was right. just the other day we were saying that maybe we were asking to much. having said that it is easy to say it when you've got both kids in bed by 8pm.
do what you feel it's right for you all and try to remember that it will pass. really!

re: swimwear. I will persevere but not easy as I can see that some people think it's inappropriate (WTF???!!!a child's nipple????). I even think the bikini makes them more like little women that the mutanda. (rosa sunbodies are another story).
it is this pedo's pshycosis, me think, like you are not allowed to take pictures anywhere in public pools (WTF???!! again). Last tuesday there were my dd1 and 3 other girls in the pool having their lessons and me and the other mums and I was told off for taking a picture of dd1 with my mobile of my dd (for dh)! Please tell me this is insane!!!

re parties, brange if your dd isn't bothered I wouldn;t bother.

sputnik my dd does encounter some difficulties because of her lack of english tbh. because she knows she cannot communicate as fully she can be shy or look standoffish (bless) and she tends to watch and observe other kids a lot at first and then copy whatever they are doing without using much of her own judgement - like jumping down a massive climbing frame or taking her armbands off and dive in. sometimes it pains me to see her so vulnerable and lost but It'll be only for a short time. after a few days at school she'll only want to speak italian and you'll be so sorry to hear her. my dd will religiously repeat anything that has been said to her by anyone during a playdate when she comes own and plays with her teddies.