ELEVENSES HERE *****************************************************************************************

[MaryAnnSingleton]

think we've been deleted,so shall we put ourselves here in other subjects ?
Sleepless night fretting about T and loos and lunches at big school - how neurotic am I ?!

oh hippi huge hugs from me to you xxxx am so sorry and sad about poor O - I'd be enraged with those boys - so mean and nasty - I feel like whacking them on your behalf...why do they do that ? I suppose it's all part of being in the inclusive group - people join the be part of that group and in a way with relief that they're not the target of the meanness,if that makes any sense. Argghh, it's horrible though. Am sending you a virtual plate of brioche. Am sure your girls night will be lovely and cheering for you if you have it at your house.
Hotcross - great name too ! hope B is feeling better too.
More hugs for hippi xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh poor poor O. Children are so horrid sometimes. Similar things happened to me at school and it's just miserable. I'm sending big hugs to you and O!

The girls night in. Is it close friends of yours? If so, then I would say have them over, don't worry about the mess/cold, they are coming to see you not the state of your house. Light lots of candles, make hot choc with marshmallows and a tot of Baileys in if you have it(really really warms you up from inside out) and tell everyone to bring a blanket! It'll be fine

Hi guys, thanks for the lovely messages. I have just come back from giving blood and I guess I must be looking very miserable because the lovely nurses kept asking me if I was allright... I think maybe they were worried I was about to feint....

I just feel for O because kids he though were his friends signed the list. One of the boys who instigated the letter has been a regular 'teaser' of O and O has let it wash over him. But I think this letter was more than O could deal with.

Never mind, onwards and upwards.

Have rung my friend and pulled out of hosting hte girly evening. Two of them are my closest friends, one is a good-ish friend and two are close friends of the good-ish friend (if that makes sense) and are very 'big house, big car, and a tad snobby'. So I just don't feel comfortable and it would add to the stress. Also, dh will be coming home half-way through the evening after a huge and horrible week at work, and will want to relax. We have no tv or pc upstairs and no wireless connection, so if we banish him upstairs there would be nothing for him to do. And he would feel uncomfortable being downstairs with all these women here (he likes his own space and his solitude) So all in all not the right time.
If he is home in time I will go to the girly night as arranged. If not, I will give it a miss.

...well done for giving blood btw...wish I could think of something helpful or comforting to say. You may wish to snigger at my foolishness just now..just looked in my bag and discovered T's purse which should be in his rucksack - and it's nearly lunch time - so I left everything and dashed to the car with purse, drove to the school,left it with reception who will send a child with it to T..then in the car back I remembered that it's reading club at lunchtime and he has packed lunch...

Roffle at the purse - I can just imaging T looking like this at the antics of his lovingly deranged mother
Thanks for that, you have really cheered me up

at MAS! Definitely above and beyond the call of duty. T will be happy though that you were thinking about him

I have to say I would probably have pulled out of evening too Hippi. I am just so ashamed of my house, and whereas I know I don't care how messy/unfinished my friends houses are, I can't quite believe they aren't horrified about mine! So YANBU, but it's a shame we feel like that Of course my mums answer would be to get the house finished LOL!

Well done on the blood-doning too! How do you spell that BTW????

oh dear..hope was wasn't embarrassed by someone bringing his purse into class - I'm not sure how it got into my bag though - I probably absentmindedly stuck it in there after checking he had some lunch money...
just back from Sainsb. and then must take T to have hair cut.

uh, he was embarrassed ('couldn't you have brought it in at another time ?") because he says it's a bit girly-(it's not especially - it came from Paperchase and is a plain zip up purse with different capital cities in jolly typefaces printed on it- we chose it because it was very simple and easy to get money in and out of) so have now swapped back to his army style wallet He is very conscious of things being 'girly' and didn't want to take a poetry book in today because it has a pinky cover (to be fair it is very girly) - it has a favourite poem in and they had to choose theirs and bring it into English as it's Poetry Day - so we had to photocopy it ! It's one of the books I've illustrated so he was probably embarrassed about that too

Oh blimey, it's a steep learning curve isn't it???? Hadn't thought of the embarrassment factor tbh...if you'd gone into the class maybe!

If I'd gone in he would have been mortified !!!!

morning...hope you are feeling a bit today hippi

Hello!

Yes how are you and O doing Hippi? What does your dh think?

Think we're getting our car back today. They've had to fix the wheel, suspension, ABS sensor, CV joint(?) and a new door. Am a bit apprehensive about driving it again tbh, and we'll have to keep it til it falls to bits now - no-one will want to buy it from us But they did say they're cleaning it, which is a result

I seem to be following you MAS. We're on a lot of the same threads!

Hello

O is a lot happier. Apparently a lot of kids signed the list because this boy (L)said 'sign here if you like O', and some others he tricked by saying 'I am collecting signatures to compare handwriting'. So O feels happier that his friends signed unwittingly.
He went to his friend B's house after tea yesterday, and whilst he was out his (girl)friend N rang for him 5 times (even though I told her he would be out all afternoon) After they had finally spoken O told me that a few weeks ago she had 'dumped' him to go out with L. But after what L had done to O she had decided to 'dump' L and be friends with O again.
So O is happy, his true friends have stuck by him and he is not bothered about the others.

Phew, unwards to the next drama....

Hotcross, you may not be able to sell your car privately, but you could still trade it in surely?

not after tea, after school....

try not to be stressed about driving the car again hotcross - just ease into it and once you're back in the seat you'll be fine !
Am glad O is feeling happier and it's reassuring to know that it was a trick, even if it was a nasty trick - can't believe that O wouldn't be a popular boy anyway
All this going out stuff seems to have happened early !! T dies of embarrassment if I ever ask him about girls - I think he'll be very shy in that respect - his dad was

I agree with MAS, try not to worry about driving the car

Did the insurance pay up for the arthritis meds for doggle?

good afternoon...hope all is well in the hippi anmd hotcross households
Was walking back from shops and ran into nice mum who has a boy now in yr 6 - we used to do the craft club together - anyway to be sociable I walked with her on to the junior school to wait,because T passes it on his way home. T very embarrassed to see me out in public so trooped on ahead !
I thought he was cross and upset about my meeting him,probably was a bit, but it seems that he was mulling over friendships because he said that he was fed up with being on his own at break times. I asked him if he was being left out of things/excluded b ut he said not really, it's more he was worrying about not having any friends and could he be happy not having friends and would he have friends by yr 11 - I think he is realising the benefits etc of friendships - he has never worried before about this and been happy in his own company..anyway, I'm pleased that he wants to find more friends but sad that he is feeling a bit down about it. He has P i his tutor group and of course E and there are the London friends,but as you know from my previous posts,he's quite solitary. I think his natural quietness holds him back...oh dear..anyway,we had a talk and I proposed stategies and whatnot,and he seems much happier..but blimey, there's always something,isn't there !

Oh MAS

I think it is very hard - in my (limited) experience, when a group of children do not know each other (such as at the start of a new school), the loud, confident ones will seek out likeminded children. And the quieter ones tend to be left out initially. But once T finds his feet adn confidence properly, he will get noticed and included I'm sure.
In the meantime, has he identified any potential friends in his class? Could he suggest to them that they sit together?

hi hippi
he does sit next to P from his old school a lot of the time and I know he is his partner on the activity weekend - I think he is just realising that being part of a group is good too and he is not sure how to become a part of it. Is funny because in Sainsbury's,and often when I'm in town I observe the students from the big 6th form college in their groups and wonder whether T will be like that one day ! Will gently coach him in strategies ! I think making friends isn't so easy for some people - I never found it tricky,despite being shy, I think I'm quite sociable as long as I have my own precious time too ! Dh,on the other hand has never pursued friendships - we have mutual friends or friends as a family, but he doesn't have the strata of friendships that I have nurtured..and I do keep in touch with lots of people from different parts and times in my life - it's important to me, but dh is quite happy (his university friends,apart from one, were dull,dull,dull,imo !}

hi celia and thanks ! that's reassuring - hope your dd has a great time this week

Hi Celia
That's good to hear!! My ds is not going until April, but he will still only be nine adn is not the most confident boy when it comes to abseiling etc.

MAS, do you think it is a 'man' thing?? Dh has no interest in pursuing friendships. He is pally with one ex-colleague adn they will text/e-mail/meet once in while, but other than that he is happy. Mind you, he deals with a lot of people at work, and has to be sociable when helping out at teh school PTA and for CUBS, so he gets his social life fulfilled that way.

it might well be hippi..dh gets on well with his work colleagues and is very sociable when we meet up with friends but apart from that is happy not to bother with friends as such. He had a few friends at school and university but hasn't bothered to keep in touch. Similarly I have a close male friend and he is the same - absolutely lovely but only has a handful of friends,less even..me,our mutual friend J and a couple we know and that's it...yet he is the nicest man and great to be with...

I can sort of see where these men are coming from. I am not the most sociable person in the world. I am happy with 3 or 4 close friends, but am not interested in big groups etc.
Two of my friends are turning 40 over the next year and they are talking about huge parties. My worst nightmare....

I'm the same..that's partly why my wedding was small !!!!