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Was he, is he having an affair?

166 replies

Bugsy · 11/02/2003 12:16

For some inexplicable reason, still not sure why I did this, I looked at dh's text messages on his 'phone. I have never, ever snooped on him before (been together for 11 years) and I cannot explain why I suddenly decided to do it now.
Anyhow, I found lots of texts on his 'phone from another woman. Not explicit or obviously suggesting that he has had an affair but most definitely intimating a close friendship. The texts span four months and the last one was mid-December.
I am slightly at a loss for what to do now. One of dh's close friends was caught just before Christmas with his trousers down and has subsequently left his wife and 2 children. He has been widely condemned by our circle of friends and will be taken to the cleaners by his wife's solicitors. I am wondering whether DH was up to no good and was frightened by our friend's situation.
It would be very easy for DH to have an affair as he works abroad a great deal.
Does anyone have any advice or experience of such a situation?

OP posts:
Lindy · 18/02/2003 20:24

Bugsy - so very, very sorry to read your news.

I can tell you about my marriage, which I have never before mentioned on Mumsnet as it isn't easy to talk about these things. Four years ago my DH had an affair (we had been married 10 years, no children by choice). He left me for the other woman (a younger, glamourous work colleague - how original for a 40 year old male -hah!), during the six week 'separation' he was constantly phoning me, still working from our home & sometimes staying the night, not always in the spare room so quite frankly he wasn't even 'faithful' to his mistress. After 6 weeks, he told me he had made the biggest mistake of his life & literally begged me to take him back.

He did come back & we went through lots of Relate counselling, we were also able to afford to take a year 'off' & do a lot of travelling, on our return we moved to a new area ....... and had a baby.

We are still together but it was incredibly hard work, on both sides I am sure but I don't have much sympathy for him. It does change your relationship & the way you feel about your DH, our marriage is not the same as it was & I can never be 100% sure that it wouldn't happen again.

My advice, as others have said, is to take things really slowly, you don't have to decide whether to leave or stay immediately, just take your time & weigh up all the options as carefully as you can. I would recommend counselling, in my case it helped not just our marriage, but more importantly, how you feel about yourself & where does your marriage fit into your life? I can only speak from personal experience but I now put my marriage into a 'compartment' - it's not perfect, there are a lot of unhappy memories but it is part of my life, but not the most important part.

The pain and anger at the betrayal will fade, eventually, but it takes a long, long time.

I think what you are going through is one of the worst things that can ever happen in life because it is the 'deliberateness' of their behaviour which is the hardest thing to come to terms with - if other awful things in life happen, ie: death, serious illness etc it is not 'deliberate'.

If you want to talk further contact me via Tech & we can e-mail or 'phone. (use Lindy1). Very best wishes.

Batters · 18/02/2003 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moomin · 19/02/2003 11:38

If and when you feel ready, I would definitely recommend Relate (or similar) counselling. Don't think of it as a way to "mend" your marriage (which is what your partner might be thinking) but see it as a way to look more objectively at the situation.

My 1st husband acted appallingly towards me before we split up but wouldn't take responsibility for his actions. Going to counselling really helped as it forced him to admit and see what he'd done to me as it's like owning up in front of a 3rd party which makes it more "real". We split up, but Relate really helped me through it; I continued to go for a while after he was off the scene.

In the meantime, call on your most trusted friends, who will listen and support you rather than try to come up with solutions. All the very best XXXXX

Bobbins · 19/02/2003 12:42

Lindy> excellent post!

The help and support I have received from this site has neen so invaluable.

xxxxx

Bobbins · 19/02/2003 12:48

been...I meant

....and I second the emotion....that....anger and resentment are the biggest anti-aphrodisiacs.

I still hope you can work things out

addle · 19/02/2003 13:30

Hello Bugsy,

very very sorry to hear your news. I don't often contribute to the threads because others say what I'm thinking far more articulately but really didn't want to lurk on this one. It happened to me in a relationship pre - children and, as many people have said, it took years to repair self esteem and the relationship was never really the same again. It's also affected my current relationship because although my dp is trustworthy I can't give that trust 100%. Good luck with whatever you do, and as so many others have said, make sure you make enough time and space for yourself to decide what you really want to do.

star · 19/02/2003 14:54

Bugsy,I feel a bit like Lil does.I'm devastated for you-what a s**t.Make him realise what he could lose,you can do it.Take care now.

clucks · 19/02/2003 15:49

Dear Bugsy

I have been following your thread silently, as it is something I have no experience of and one of my nightmares. I think you have had excellent advice, particularly from tigermoth who is very wise. I wish you all the best and I hope you find strength to keep yourself sane.

Janus · 19/02/2003 16:17

Bugsy, I'm so very sorry to hear your fears were true (my partner works away quite a lot too and even though you don't think about it you always know that it would be easier for them to have an affair than 'normal'. I'm just so sad that he did this to you.
I think you probably do need some time on your own to just think things through. Is there any chance you can go away without the children, maybe for just a day or two, and perhaps with your very best friend who will listen to you but not necessarily bombard you with 'protective' advice, ie let you come to some conclusions yourself? After that, whatever your decisions, surely counselling must help you just work through all this mess.
Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, do try and take care.

Janus · 19/02/2003 16:18

Sorry, that smiley face should definitely not be there.

willow2 · 19/02/2003 23:35

Hi Bugsy,

Just caught up with this thread - so sorry to hear that your fears were correct. Think the wealth of advice given so far has been great. The only thing I'd add is don't feel you have to rush in to making a decision as to what you are going to do. IME when people get caught out they apologise and then expect/want you to accept their apology and go on as though nothing has ever happened. But IMO all your energy should be focused on doing whatever will make you feel better - regardless of whether it is what your dh wants.

Good luck xx

Bugsy · 20/02/2003 10:57

Thank you all so much. It is so helpful to read all your comments, particularly when I'm not in a position to be consulting all my "embodied" friends.
It is funny that this recent dalliance appears to have happened when he has spent more time in the UK than he has for the last 18 months - so I'm not sure that the being away from home thing follows through.
I don't think dh is happy with our life at the moment. I presume that bonking someone else suggests something must be wrong. Of course, he is sorry now because he stands to lose so much but I don't actually think he was sorry or regretted it very much until that point. I hope that counselling will help us try and find the right path. At the moment I feel that the right path would be for him to move out and just see the children at the weekends but I'm still not quite rational about it at the moment.
Sometimes I cannot believe that this has happened to me. Grrrrr!

OP posts:
clucks · 20/02/2003 11:14

Bugsy,

I did not want to say this before, but I agree that it would be a good idea for him to move out but maintain close links with the children, even seeing them every day/couple of days. This will give you more space and your rage might subside.

I am assuming you would still continue with counselling. I hope you continue to take good care of yourself. I think you may feel better if you look at your best and confident whenever he visits.

mum2toby · 20/02/2003 12:35

I agree.. him moving out is the best option. He must face up to what he has done. How are you coping? Is he at home just now??

munchbunch · 20/02/2003 12:49

Bugsy - him moving out sounds very sensible to me if that's what you want, and no, you're not being irrational. As willow2 says, it's easy to apologise and expect things to get back to normal. Maybe when he's away from you and the kids he will really regret what he's done and see what he's lost. Since he works away a lot, maybe you could tell the kids a little white lie and say he's away on business for a while so that from their perspective, everything is "normal"? Take care of yourself, munchbunch xxx

RosieT · 20/02/2003 12:58

Have nothing much to add to all the excellent advice & support on here ? just to say, I really do feel for you, Bugsy. As others have said, it's what's important for you and the kids that matters now ? can't be easy for you, though.
Who are these women who will happily sleep with a man they must know is married and with a young family??? She must be a pretty horrible person, is all I can say.
Best of luck ? really hope things work out for you. xxx

Wills · 20/02/2003 14:55

RosieT have to say I used to agree with the principle that the other woman must be the worst sort of scum on this earth etc etc. However we're assuming that she knew that he was married and a father. Often men that have affairs are very good at hiding things from their "mistress" as well.

Lindy · 20/02/2003 15:07

Bugsy - I do sympathise with your comment 'I can't believe it is happening to me' - that is exactly how I felt, I just couldn't 'rationalise' it, we'd always (seemingly) had a good relationship, obviously a few ups & downs but nothing major, I often look at other people's marriages & sometimes can't understand why some people stay together when they are so horrible to each other. Anyway, that is rambling.

The only comment I would make about him moving out is that you will then have to tell everyone that you are separating temporarily - unless you can say he is working away - & tell the children of course - this may not worry you but if you do want to try to stay together sometimes it is better the fewer people know about the situation.

I agree that what decent woman would want an affair with a married man? But obviously plenty do, he probably span her the line 'my wife doesn't understand me, we don't have sex anymore' blah blah blah!

Good luck, thinking of you.

tigermoth · 20/02/2003 16:01

bugsy, hope the counselling is useful and whatever you decide about your dh moving out temporarily helps you through this.

You say that your dh has been spending more, not less time in the UK over the last 18 months, so you don't feel his absences caused this situation - it was more to do with him being unhappy generally.

From your point of view, do you now how your would like your marriage to be? Have you a workable ideal? so when you talk to your husband about your joint future you have a clear picture in mind? I suppose counselling will help you discover this if it is not clear now. Hopefully your ideal is one your husband will share - does he know why he is unhappy and do you think he knows what changes he'd like to see too?

Difficult questions I think, but I'd imagine the more clear you are about what you want, the easier it will be to get it. If you don't know, as others have said, you need to play for time. I have to admit if I looked at my relationship with my dh, the ideal picture would be very blurry round the edges.

Bugsy · 20/02/2003 16:53

Whoops sorry, I meant he has been in the UK more since Christmas than at any other time in the last 18 months and apparently this liason started this side of Christmas.
Given that he is going away on Sunday for nearly two weeks, I don't need to ask him to leave in the short-term but when I look at the future I am finding it hard to see him in the house on a regular basis.
Anyhow, I have booked our first counselling session and hopefully we will be able to at least talk about things in a controlled manner before too long.

OP posts:
Marina · 20/02/2003 16:55

Good luck, Bugsy. Hope you are getting the tea and hugs you are so happy to provide for others, you deserve it.

WideWebWitch · 20/02/2003 17:24

Bugsy, you said you presume he must have been bonking someone else because something was wrong in your marriage. Maybe this isn't the case though? People have sex with people they shouldn't for all sorts of reasons. And sometimes they do it thinking they'll get away with it. I'm not condoning it at all, I just wanted to say it wasn't necessarily because of anything you did/didn't do. Please don't blame yourself (or let your H blame you) for his behaviour. Wishing you tea and hugs too, or whatever it takes to get through this.

Indie · 20/02/2003 22:08

Hi Bugsy, I am sorry to hear what has happened and unfortunately completely relate to it all, as it was a very similar story to my own. My dh had an 'affair' three years ago and I found out through e-mails. Like you I had my suspicions and eventually when the sexual side was written in black and white in front of me I was able to confront him with conviction.

He was in his own words ' mortified' by what he had done - I think I was more though! He refused to go to counselling when it happened but we seemed to work our way through it at the time.

However now our marriage it coming apart and it does all stem from this period in his life. My love for him was changed forever and of course my trust was lost. My dh also travels alot for work and to this day I never know if he has been faithful to me. However I think the biggest thing for me is that he did this when I was at my most vulnerable (18 month child / just moved to a new town / no family around / not a secure job etc) and now I am not in that position (although we have another child) and I want to leave him now because I can and for other reasons.

Not sure what I am trying to say really but I think that going to counselling right from the start is so important - he needs to know how you really feel, the anger / betrayal / the loss of dreams / the drop in self worth / the disbelief that he can jeopardise the future of your children. He also needs to realise that just because he is sorry and that the other person did not mean anything more than sex - that it doesn't make it OK and that you can just move on.

The early months are difficult - if you have a union that is worth working at - then it might all work out. If there are other problems where you feel that he does not respect and love you like you want to be, then you might never get it back.

Do not blame yourself though - it is his problem completely - if he was not happy then he needed to look towards you as a couple to improve this - what he did might have given him a boost short term but is devastating to you as a couple - he should have known that before - not just now that you have confronted him.

My thoughts are with you.

Tamz77 · 20/02/2003 23:25

Hi Bugsy, so sorry to read of what you are going through right now.

My DP had a one night stand early on in our relationship. A bit different from what's happening to you - and we had no kids - but the deceit and hurt was still there. He allowed her to keep pursuing a relationship by phoning him but eventually admitted what he'd done to me, some weeks later.

Of course he SAYS it was a one night stand but I have no way of knowing for sure, and I urge you to be persistent in seeking the truth from your other half. Typical reactions in the Rumbled Male are "It only happened once", "It meant nothing", "She's moving/she's left the office/she's already ended it", "We were both drunk, it just happened" etc, and I'll bet in most cases they are lies generated by panic. I still wonder if my aghast reaction to the news put the frighteners on my DP and stopped him telling the full truth.

I made my DP call the other woman - in my presence - and explain that he was actually already in a serious relationship and would not be seeing her again for any of the dates she had been suggesting. He was VERY reluctant to do this (wonder why...?) but I forced the issue and it felt better knowing for sure that he had put her straight and ended things. I heard exactly what he said, so no "...I'll call you in a few weeks when this has cooled down" type conversations. I was also able to gauge her reaction; she accepted it for about two minutes, then called back and let rip with a stream of abuse. As far as I'm aware that was the end of their contact. I think it would serve you well to try a route something like this, to be sure that your husband is sincere about ending his affair and focusing on his marriage - and not just temporarily.

Most of the rest of the stuff can be worked through, IMO. You clearly want to repair the damage, ideally, and I decided that too, as I loved the guy and had a great time with him, and saw a great future with him. I grilled him for info about every detail of their night together and he was very honest about things, which I appreciate. I knew the girl, he told me that she had mentioned me to say - in a variety of ways - that I was ugly. He also admitted that he had denied even fancying me, let alone having a relationship with me. Both those things really hurt. I also demanded to know all the sexual side of things and he told me, which must have satisfied some twisted curiosity I had but all the same was very upsetting, and for a long time afterwards all I could think about during sex was them.

All this for a one-night stand with a relatively new boyfriend...I don't pretend to understand the depths of your hurt. Myself and DP have had a great relationship and I'm glad I surprised myself by giving him a second chance. As far as I know he's never done it again, and no-one in any relationship can be 100% sure of fidelity unless they are with their partner 24/7. However it does get worse before it gets better. I used to follow DP in my car when he went out at nights to check he wasn't going to this girl's home. I used to write down all unlisted numbers on his mobile and get my brother to call them anonymously and then hang up, to see if they belonged to women. I still check his phone for messages and new numbers, and although we joke about it, there's always a more serious undercurrent. I certainly wouldn't stick around if anything like that ever happened again, but to be honst, even if it did, I wouldn't regret sticking it out the first time, he's a really decent human being, and everyone makes mistakes. Yes it's a pretty big mistake to make, to jeopardise your marriage and your children's happiness, and to cause your own wife such pain. But the situation is not insurmountable. What I think is crucial is the guy's willingness to admit his wrongdoing; so many make such spurious excuses, like they work so hard, temptation is always there, the wife doesn't understand me, she's always busy with the kids, we don't see each other enough, she's gone off sex, I get lonely away from home, she was coming on to me so strongly I couldn't resist, my mates egged me on, I never have any excitement in my life, blah blah blah. It's pathetic. My dp tried the old "I was drunk" story but he also had the decency to admit that he was a guy who tended to follow his penis around, insensible to the consequences, and that he was oblivious to everything except getting into this girl's knickers. I'd say in your case your husband has to tell you the full truth, and then grow up a bit - travelling a lot and working with flirty colleagues is just life, it's what we all do, not an excuse for ruining your family. If he doesn't accept that he made a big mistake and a very stupid mistake then chances are he might fall straight back into the same situation in either months or years, and justify it with the same idiotic reasons. Make it clear there will be no more chances.

Sorry to have rambled on but I know how harsh this feels when it happens the first time; even though there's a big difference between your situation and mine the pain's still massive. I really hope this is resolved in the best possible way for you, do take good care of yourself.

Tinker · 22/02/2003 17:16

Bugsy, have just caught up with this thread and am so sorry to read all this. You sound so together and wise, hope things really work our for you the way you want. Take care.