Can you please explain to me why you would choose not to help at a PTA event?

[Hassled]

A genuine question, although I have to admit to being a tad exasperated at the moment. I feel I'm missing a point somewhere, but I'm not sure what.

Let's say that there was a big PTA fundraising event (BBQ) coming up. The PTA have sent out newsletters etc making it clear that they want to raise funds to improve the school playground and to replace existing sports strips. You plan to attend with your DP, you're not in any way unwell and don't have a baby in tow. Why would you not volunteer to run a stall for half an hour? If you were specifically asked if you could help, why would you say no?

All I can come up with is a) you value the rare time you have as a family too much to want to interrupt the evening by one parent being elsewhere for half an hour or b) you haven't really grasped the reason PTA events take place (i.e. the improved playground) and dismiss the events as not really your concern. Both of which are valid, I guess, but I really want to know what else goes on in people's minds in these cicumstances. Have I just turned into too much of a PTA harpy?

I have been on PTAs for longer than I care to remember, currently on 2. Have never been on the committee cos can't commit the time. I do know that the committee members do make a difference to how the PTA is viewed in the school. We've had a couple of cliquey committees who I can imagine were a bit off-putting. Our current and previous committee are ace - parents of younger children and I'd never have met them without PTA involvement, which is something I get out of it. In my experience, the children really do love the events (but depends on the school and the events I guess)If people don't volunteer to help out, the events don't happen. Money doesn't get raised and the children don't have the fun. We are really lucky in that we do have a lot of parents who help out - but also a lot who don't. There are loads of reasons why, some I find more palatable than others. It's not for me to judge. It's just very sad that our PTA funding makes up a really significant percentage of the school's budget (which is wrong, I know, but that's another topic), all the children benefit, but not all parents help. Some have more time and more inclination than others. If enough parents volunteer, it really is just half an hour on a stall which makes a difference.
(And if you think it's tough in primary, wait until you get to secondary PTA.....)

The PTA at dds school finally fizzled out a few years ago when the last of the children with parents in the PTA finally left. Here's why ...they were the most unwelcoming bunch of women you could ever wish to meet. One father whose dds had just joined the school tried to get involved and had some really good ideas for raising money and entertainment for the kids. He went to a years worth of meetings till he gave up. I volunteered for a few events (not making cakes in case any one read my post on another thread ) but was, despite my best efforts, never made to feel welcome. I once sat for 2 hours counting and bagging coppers that the children had collected and no one spoke to me, offered me a drink when they were making one or anything. I don't expect them to fall at my feet in gratitude but it would be nice, as a newbie, to have been offered a cup of tea.

People don't have to justify themselves to the PTA - but do they tell their children not to ride the tricycles, read the books, use the whiteboards, come to the discos , drink the drinks at sports day, go on the school trips on the subsidized coaches, accept the prizes, hunt the easter eggs, go see the Father Christmas, play with the cricket sets or sit in the sensory garden.

I so object to being a clipboard twat. I'm not calling the people who don't help fat-arsed Jeremy Kyle addicts, am I? So how come it's OK for you to call me names?

See my thread.

That's why I will be choosing not to help again. Only one snapshot of my playschool committee but I'm not going back for more of the same. I will still do cakes and give bric a brac though.

being CALLED a clipbeard twat! Slight Freudian typo there!

becuase I couldn't stand being nice to all those kids

madamez, I'll mention your well thought out argument to the blokes on our PTA.

The PTA needs to decide on its purpose/mission
Is it about raising funds or is it about something else entirely?

If its mission is fundraising and I was a time and motion management consultant, I would have no alternative but to close down every PTA I've ever come across.

OK..
Our PTA

Subsidises
swimming lessons
theatre productions
coaches for trips
leavers do's
after school clubs (often making it free)

we buy items such as:
computer stations
interactive white boards
play ground equiptment
keyboards (musical variety )
cameras
Sports Strips
LIBRARY BOOKS
Craft Materials
many many more items

We host fun events such as
discos
Talent Shows (our kids went on to do very well in a local town contest - i think because of the school talent shoe)
YR Welcome Evenings
ETC

WE ARE A NECCESARY EVIL - IT IS NOT OUR FAULT WE HAVE TO DO THIS THE SCHOOL DOES NOT GET ENOUGH FUNDING

EITHER HELP, SEND YOUR KIDS TO PRIVATE SCHOOL OR COMPLAIN TO THE GOVERNMENT

rant over

Our primary school PTA is both: raising much needed funds (and agree re time vs payback but we still do raise a lot of money, about £25k a year) and creating a sense of community.
Grammar school PTA used to be about both, but have given up on the community bit (due to lack of support for auctions/quiz night/craft sales - parents weren't even attending)and just stick now with high-earning carboot sales a couple of times a year.

The OP is a little provocatively-phased, no?

It's often not that people "choose not" to help, but that work and other commitments have to come first.

Weekends? Well, yes - but the last two PTA events have happened when we had already booked weekends away to see family or friends.

Not making excuses here, but just pointing out there can be reasons other than those given.

Sorry haven't ploughed through the thread.

I'd much much rather give them a cheque for £100 or whatever at the beginning of the year than be constantly hassled to bake cakes/run stalls etc.

I did help out for the first couple of years of primary but got fed up of it quite frankly.

And I did, from year 3, bung them a cheque once a year to salve my conscience.

swimming lessons - parents responsibility
theatre productions - not a proper lesson
coaches for trips - not education
leavers do's - not my problem
after school clubs (often making it free) - ok well done

we buy items such as:
computer stations
interactive white boards
play ground equiptment
keyboards (musical variety )
cameras
Sports Strips
LIBRARY BOOKS
Craft Materials
many many more items

good good

We host fun events such as
discos - i don't care
Talent Shows (our kids went on to do very well in a local town contest - i think because of the school talent shoe) - i dont care
YR Welcome Evenings - who cares?
ETC

WE ARE A NECCESARY EVIL - IT IS NOT OUR FAULT WE HAVE TO DO THIS**THE SCHOOL DOES NOT GET ENOUGH FUNDING

EITHER HELP, SEND YOUR KIDS TO PRIVATE SCHOOL OR COMPLAIN TO THE GOVERNMENT

it gets enough to do discos and welcome evenings though - i mean some of the stuff is wanky clipboard stuff you gotta admit.

if it was just for education purposes - cool

I think there are some lucky people in a position to write a cheque for £100 at the beginning of the year - and there's nothing to stop them doing this. Nobody has - I have to say at any of the 3 PTAs I have been involved with!

Lots of people don't have a spare 100 quid, though. And I can just imagine the outrage if we suggested that everybody contributed. Can't decide whether it would be a bigger outrage than that which would greet the disappearance of the many many extras which PTA funding gives the children at our school.

"EITHER HELP, SEND YOUR KIDS TO PRIVATE SCHOOL OR COMPLAIN TO THE GOVERNMENT"

I choose none of the above.

You choose to join the PTA.

I am not welcome in my PTA.

I choose to donate my time elsewhere in the community. I do not stamp my foot and complain that others do not choose to do what I do. And neither should you.

Much as I hate to disagree with Custy (I do really ) - PTAs are usually for the benefit of all the kids. School disco's are fun, spending PTA money to buy extra playground equipment is for the kids' fun. Having a summer fair is fun (not to mention a great community event). What's wrong with that? School isn't just about education in the form of lessons - at least a decent school shouldn't just focus on that. It's about making your kid into a rounded individual, academically, community-oriented-ly, able to share, enjoy stuff, contribute etc etc etc.

And that's really sad that you don't care enough about new parents being welcomed into the school community to view PTAs as a waste of time.

yes lots of parents could just chuck a ton at the school each year. But where the fun in that. Personally my kids love the summer fair, bonfirenight, discos, talent shows and other stuff that the PTA runs to raise funds. and I think it's good that they can see parents giving their time to a community cause for the greater good.

Seeker, I wouldn't presume to call you anything and I do think that the PTA provides worthwhile stuff. However, I hope they do it because they want to help out where they can not because they require my gratitude for it. Therefore, I will not be telling my children not to use PTA funded stuff and if it ever came up with them, I would tell them to use it in the community spirit in which I hope it was provided.

I would add that I think in my heart of hearts there may be a tiny bit of me that envies the PTA parents and their ability to form a group (whether cliquey or not) which I could never do.

Message withdrawn

After cancelling a bingo night and a quiz night due to lack of support/interest we sat down and had a think as to what people actually want.

and do you know what they want?

The majority of people/parents want to spend £2.50 for their child to go to a cinema afternoon after school- from 3.10pm- 5.15pm - so that is 2 hours of extra childcare for £2.50. Their child gets a drink and popcorn and a film.

The average parent does not want to get involved in extra activities for themselves but will pay out for their child to watch a film.

Out of a school of 416 children, we easily sell 175 tickets and make a fortune! depending on what the film is.

We do a film every half term and it is the easiest and quickest way to make money. Just sort out the license and it is done!

I heart our PTA and ours is not militant and the HT is involved and it is good fun.

great idea collision - who provides all the equipment etc and do you show to infants and juniors together?