Can you please explain to me why you would choose not to help at a PTA event?

[Hassled]

A genuine question, although I have to admit to being a tad exasperated at the moment. I feel I'm missing a point somewhere, but I'm not sure what.

Let's say that there was a big PTA fundraising event (BBQ) coming up. The PTA have sent out newsletters etc making it clear that they want to raise funds to improve the school playground and to replace existing sports strips. You plan to attend with your DP, you're not in any way unwell and don't have a baby in tow. Why would you not volunteer to run a stall for half an hour? If you were specifically asked if you could help, why would you say no?

All I can come up with is a) you value the rare time you have as a family too much to want to interrupt the evening by one parent being elsewhere for half an hour or b) you haven't really grasped the reason PTA events take place (i.e. the improved playground) and dismiss the events as not really your concern. Both of which are valid, I guess, but I really want to know what else goes on in people's minds in these cicumstances. Have I just turned into too much of a PTA harpy?

If the childcare providers are registered, the costs can still be claimed.

Tbh the children who can get a free place at an after-school activity also get free school meals so therefore their parents won't be receiving WTC.

I also doubt that some of the people who run the clubs are registered (some are parents)

Actaully, thinking again abut the OP - I can sympathise with those parents who don't get involved. They may just be too knackered to pick up another commitment - and feel that just be coming along they are shwoing involvement in the school community.

SO in that respect, Hassled is perhpas turning into tooo much of a PTA hapry!

Just be grateful for what support you do get. If you don't get enough to run bigger events, or those parents that do help out start resenting the level of commitment that they are asked ofr, then cut back on the commitments. It's not your job to take on the burdens of the school and all its imporvements.

On a smaller scale, that is what dh and I are having to tell ourselves: instead of complaining that we never have any time, we are going to have to cut back our "extra" commitments and be really strict about how much time the parent Council and the OUt of School Club take out of our lives. If we can't delegate then it won't be done.

DH is even threatedning to resign as Chair of the parent Council (we would still help out) - but the head teacher is deprarate for him not to.

I never did PTA stuff in the UK, although I did go to the summer fair (dh does the winter one) and give the kids lots of money to spend. I'm not very good with groups of children, and really wouldn't enjoy running a stall at all. In fact I don't really enjoy the fair, but feel I should support it by spending money there. I buy the raffle tickets, do the mufti and send in cakes, bottles etc when requested. I don't feel bad about not doing more. I don't think I'd enjoy it much and I'm not sure my skills are what they are after. I did think very seriously about being a parent governor though as I have plenty of skills in organising, committees etc (do this at work), but decided I didn't have enough contact with other parents (and the other candidates were very worthy).

Having just moved I volunteered to help the new PTA with it's book week, and it was quite fun. But mostly because I had nothing else to do and I wanted to meet new people (and I love books, so I felt on sold ground). If I had been working I wouldn't have been able to help.

Have to say gthat I have no problem with doing the social aspect of school though - we attend many events with out parents such as quiz nights, lunches, meals, treasure hunt and an annual ball. We seem to have a nice bunch of parents from DD's class, so are hapy to mix and socialise with them. Have made some god friends via school - including very good friends who we have even been on holiday a couple of times now - only met them two years ago, just befre Reception started.

Wow - your schppl does a lot Hulababy!

We're doing well if we run an event a term - and they are things like the Winter Fair, a sponsored day (every class decided waht they were going to do for sponsorship) and the Summer Fair (new this year).

No socail events per se.

Part of the problem is that the majority of the catchemnt is a combination of ethnically and socially deprived, so there is not much money about - but plenty of genersoty re stalls (lots of pakora and fairy cakes!). It also makes it difficult to have social events as the Asian women dont' necessarily wat to come if there are going to be men at an event and it is difficult/impossible for us to have alcohol at an event

Yes - there are tons of events, some PTA type ones, others school based. I think there seems to be an assumption that most mums are around at least most of the time during the day