Can you please explain to me why you would choose not to help at a PTA event?

[Hassled]

A genuine question, although I have to admit to being a tad exasperated at the moment. I feel I'm missing a point somewhere, but I'm not sure what.

Let's say that there was a big PTA fundraising event (BBQ) coming up. The PTA have sent out newsletters etc making it clear that they want to raise funds to improve the school playground and to replace existing sports strips. You plan to attend with your DP, you're not in any way unwell and don't have a baby in tow. Why would you not volunteer to run a stall for half an hour? If you were specifically asked if you could help, why would you say no?

All I can come up with is a) you value the rare time you have as a family too much to want to interrupt the evening by one parent being elsewhere for half an hour or b) you haven't really grasped the reason PTA events take place (i.e. the improved playground) and dismiss the events as not really your concern. Both of which are valid, I guess, but I really want to know what else goes on in people's minds in these cicumstances. Have I just turned into too much of a PTA harpy?

but without the "recycled parental donations" there would be no money.

Parents wouldn't just give money. But they would still complain at the extra cost of a school trip.

I do think that some people don't want to be involved because PTA's can seem very intimidating.

Whether we like to admit that or not, PTA's have a reputation for being very cliquey, and impenitrable (sp?) and unwelcoming to newcomers with new ideas. And if you're not a certain kind of person then that can be hard to deal with.

Of the 5 people who joined our PTA last september, three are now leaving, partly because of other commitments but also party because of the atmosphere that exists especially from certain members who have been there for years and who see it almost as their empire . Apparently if one makes a suggestion then they give you evil looks and people do feel intimidated. Add to that the bitching and whispering that goes on and it's easy to see why people don't want to be a part of it.

From my own perspective I can't see the evil looks so I cannot be intimidated by them. And maybe some of my ideas will get shot down but not all have, and if they don't like me speaking out then that's their issue not mine - I didn't join to make friends, I joined to help out the school. But not everyone is hard enough to have that attitude.

Puppymonkey - hope i didnt sound smug
It's true, some people just don't have any interest in the PTA. (I have to confess I have never read a story to DDs class because i am scared of children...)

Obviously, I'd prefer the government to properly fund schools (particularly in our county) but I, for one, would give money, wannaBe.

Frankie - if you volunteer 6 hours a week at your school then you are already doing plenty! It's the parents who never do anything at any level for the school, be it throught the PTA or in any other capacity that rile me.
The ones who dump their kids at the gate and pick them up from the gate. I think they may be the ones that 'blame the teachers' for society's ills later on....

Uriel - it's not just about money it's about sharing ideas and skills to use the money wisely. It's about community.

I have a severely disabled child. Plus 2 other children. If it's child friendly then I can take ds2 and ds3, but cant take ds1.

People inviting me to PTA event probably do not realise that said disabled child exists and may well assume I'm too lazy to do my bit.

Many things can be going on in people's lives that you don't know about.

wannaBe can I admit that I laughed at your "I can't see the evil looks so I cannot be imtimidated by them". My mum is completely deaf in one ear and if she finds someone annoying she says she sits with her deaf ear next to them then just nods every now and then.

Hijack alert

SHITEMUM - do you speak Spanish? If so can you see my thread on the 'living overseas' board - I need some translation!

hatrick - dont be put off! (and let us know how you get on - i am scared of UK PTAs after this thread too!)

gobble - ok

I must say I'm one of the people that can't be bothered with the PTA busy bodies. I'm sorry, but I find that UK schools really put a LOT of pressure on the parents and sometimes I think it would be easier educating them at home than sending them to school. Everyday, or at least every week, there is an extra request from the PTA or the teachers, it is all so suffocating and annoying. The PTA has to understand that people have lives outside the school gates and, more importantly, there is live after having kids! Your world does not have to turn around them at every single minute of the day, specially not once they are at school. I for one don't feel the need to justify myself to the PTA and yes, they can be really threatening and intimidating, people who don't like change but love to judge others who can't be bothered with their 'fantastic' ideas. Also, if it is a state school we're talking about, surely the funding for new toys or whatever should come from the government?? (I know things don't always happen the way it should....). If the school needs something, I prefer to be asked for the hard cold cash for once instead of being asked to spend my time selling 50p slices of cake at a stall. Sorry, but that's the way I feel.

I send money in for all the things that the school asks for and more. I attend PTA organised events - not because I want to (I don't) but because I want to support their endeavours. For me attending a PTA organised BBQ is work - I would much rather be at home or with friends. I am supposed to be attending one soon and if the attitude of the PTA organisers is that I am benefiting from their efforts without giving anything back, I think I shan't bother (God knows I would prefer not to).

There are many, many, many ways to support the community in which you live (not just the school) and I do spend time helping out in the wider community and I have no need to justify what I do or do not do to anyone.

Some people need to look-up volunteer in the dictionary.

PTAs are the most inefficient organisations that ever existed. I could never serve on such a committe as I would have to point out that if we all put in £3 at the beginning of the year we would not have to have six PTA meetings, a summer fair fayre or a Christmas sale. And the parents would not have to pay £3 for the ingredients for a cake, and take an hour and a half to bake the cake then turn up at the sale and buy their own cake back for £3.

Shitemum - sharing ideas and skills to use the money wisely - hmm. I daresay the PTA at a local school thought it was a good use of money to redecorate the hall and put up new curtains at each of its many windows.

Till the school was closed less than one year later.

Some people think "volunteer" means "excuse to feel superior about others and permission to be vocal about how others live their lives."

Jimjams sometimes these things have their advantages.

Hattrick don't be put off. Not everyone on the PTA is a empire building bitch with an attitude, and the more normal people like us that join these organizations, the more likely it is that we will be able to make a difference, and change the perceptions of the PTA.

Uriel on the whole parents would not just give money to the school. Not without getting something in return for it. If parents wanted to pay towards their children's education they would send them to a school with fees.

Imo even the parents who would be prepared to donate would not donate as much as we are able to raise in the year.

If you think of all the events the school has - we've had about 6 discos at £3 each for entry plus 50p for a glowstick, Christmas event with hotdogs at £1 each plus mincepies for 25p and drinks for the kids at 50p, then the fete where the average person spent about £20 - that's nearly £50 a year the average parent spends on school events. And that obviously makes up for the parents who spend nothing. So can you imagine if we started sending letters home to parents asking for a £50 donation? there would be outcry!

This is what I mean by a wanky waste of time; no one benefits from this busywork (buying cakes to donate to the school and buy back FFS), no one apart from the clipboard twats gets anything out of it that couldn't be got by asking the parents for a few extra quid. All this kind of crap stems from the idea that women need to be found things to do because they can't have proper jobs (women can't do proper work, they are too stupid and besides if they are out of the house other men might have sex with them) and they can't not be busy (because then it might occur to them that there is more to life than servicing men).

Sorry, I don't see how you can equate giving a £50 donation to paying for school fees. Unless you know of a school that has fees that low, of course.

wannaBe, I whole heartedly tell you that I would gladly pay £50 at the start of the year if that's what it took for the PTA to stop harassing me. Honestly, I would. The PTA at my kids school is full of 'big fish is a small pond' kind of people....

so I'm the only one that likes buying cakes from the local school fete (despite the fact I don;t have a child there) because I can't be arsed don't have time to make them myself.

If people don't want to buy cakes then don;t make then - its presumably only an example of what parents can do. Lcaol school had a smoothie stall with donated fruit which went down a storm at the last fete.

i hardly think that the PTA is a form of mysogyny.

but there you go - some people are always persecuted.

i wouldnt do it becuase i don't like the 'P's or the 'T's or the 'A' come to that

i would rather eat an arse bogey than go to a school event like this

where madamez is right is 'clipboard twats'

You try getting a few extra quid out of people. The number of people who say "I'd rather write a cheque etc.." Sure they would.