Can you please explain to me why you would choose not to help at a PTA event?

[Hassled]

A genuine question, although I have to admit to being a tad exasperated at the moment. I feel I'm missing a point somewhere, but I'm not sure what.

Let's say that there was a big PTA fundraising event (BBQ) coming up. The PTA have sent out newsletters etc making it clear that they want to raise funds to improve the school playground and to replace existing sports strips. You plan to attend with your DP, you're not in any way unwell and don't have a baby in tow. Why would you not volunteer to run a stall for half an hour? If you were specifically asked if you could help, why would you say no?

All I can come up with is a) you value the rare time you have as a family too much to want to interrupt the evening by one parent being elsewhere for half an hour or b) you haven't really grasped the reason PTA events take place (i.e. the improved playground) and dismiss the events as not really your concern. Both of which are valid, I guess, but I really want to know what else goes on in people's minds in these cicumstances. Have I just turned into too much of a PTA harpy?

I'm with you seeker. I've made some very good friends at DS1's school over the past year - people who have made a real difference to me.

I can't help thinking that a lot of the objections to PTAs come down to them being uncool. Which surprises me, as I had assumed that most people posting on here had already gone through puberty.

Since joining the PTA I have made so many great friends!

We are going camping with a few in August and we look after each others children and go in and help at school.

It is a great way to meet people when you move to a new area as you are all in the same boat with young children and pull together to help each other (bit like Mumsnet on a good day! )

I do think it is sad when people slag off the PTA because it is all run voluntarily and a lot of time and effort is put in by parents to try and make money for the school so that the children have better facilities.

PTAs are stuck in a time warp, aren't they? Why has the PTA model never moved beyond a 1950s housewife in a starched pinny baking a homemade cake?

Quite Swedes.
I'd happily pay £250 as a get out of jail free card.

Not read all thread but I don't help in the PTA as

-it's abit cliquey
-I am quite socially anxious
-I have alot on my plate with illness/baby bereavement/very high risk pregnancy etc
DH works odd shifts and no childcare for our 4 and I study alot and go college in evenings
-I support the school in other ways (payinf for school merchandise, attending fairs etc, -I always volunteer on trips, events, swimming etc-none of the PTA seem to do these aswell (not complaining but one person cannot do everything), I was the only swimming helper avaliable)

Rubberduck - our PTA (or rather, Parent Council, as it is called now following changes in legislation in Scotland) is like that too.

We try and keep it very informal, with people able to help as and when they are able.

Dh is Chair - but essentially the other parents do most of theo wrok as "porjects" for whtver they are interested in.

It's not just aobut fund raising - it also about helping the school achieve the best for its children and what we as parents can do to help (which was part of backround to the new legislation here in Scotland). So for example we, in conjunction with the school, have produced an "A to Z" of things you need to know for the parents of thechildren starting P1 in August. often the teachers don't realise that the parents don't know certain things.

We also had to respond to a consultation for our Council on changing the provision of English as an Addtional language support - which would/will have an impact on all the children in the school, not just those that are not English speakers.

DH and I are both parents who "see the bigger pitcure" and realsie that the work that we put in is for the sake of our own child and the other kids in the school.

However, we may well be burnt out by the time that ds gets to secondary school and make the decision not to get so heavily involved (dh is also Chair of the management Committee that runs the Out of School Care). However, somehow I doubt it.

We do complain abut the level of commitment - I owrk full time, dh is studying and trying to set up a business and somethmes these commitments get in the way of the time that we could be spedning with our own ds. However, I hope that he will learn by example and see that sometines it is worth doing things for the greater good - and develp the same sense of "collective" responsibility.

BTW - I don't think our Parent Council os cliquish: neither dh nor I have ever "done" the school gate (ds goes to breakfast club in the morning - at his request) and to Out of School Care in the evening. There is a range of parents involved - and teachers too. Some come more regualry to meetings than others, but that just depends on cmmitments - and we usually get plenty of volunteers to help at the couple of events that are run.

The only time that representatives use clipboards is wehn we are doing a blitz on the abusers of the zig zags outside the school and taking the numbers of those cars that persist in stopping there. (There are two brave mums who are perapred to do this)

£250 is too much for me but I like the principle.

Oh - and it probably also helps that we can get the useo fo a free mobile creche for parent council meetings and on the days that we are running events to look after the children of those parents that are involved. We just have to remember to be orgnaised and book it!

well i help out exactly as the OP said - i do it because I want to help a bit to suppot the school and the organisers and I always thought I'd join the PTA but TBH now having seen it a bit (child in reception) I am not going to - they are saints those who organise all the events, I bet they don't get much thanks (except from Head) and are knackered themselves (and busy). I am more than happy to help out but i just can't do the organising.
Other people i know won't help out cos 'its not my kind of thing' (to help) and they 'just don't want to'

I rarely help at PTA events and I'm the Vice Chair!

There is a recurring theme on this thread: I'm the chair/on the committee of my PTA and I've made brilliant friends. It isn't at all cliquey.

I agree with Swedes and Threadworm - what sort of fundraising is this?

Also, I am finding myself actually somewhat incensed by the idea that it is my duty to get involved with the PTA if I send my children to school.

I'd send out a letter stating quite specifically what the school's budget it is, what it cannot cover, and the items - like books - that are needed. (I drafted this letter in some detail last night, in fact. Nobody would be credited by name, but everyone would be welcome to put money towards specific items, like books. I'd happily shell out for some books, dammit, frightfully good things, books.)

I also find the suggestion that somehow my children's lives would be blighted if the Jolly Activities were curtailed quite risible, frankly. Yes, they do enjoy the school fair and the summer barbecue - they don't enjoy the overly-loud discos - but they'd be perfectly OK if those didn't happen. So don't, please, try and blackmail me by threatening to withdraw them.

Here's the thing: nobody has to do it. Just say no. We're all big girls aren't we?

I support the PTA activities by turning up at the school summer fair, sending my kid to the disco, donating all my shite Xmas presents tombola prizes.

I feel no need to get more involved and no, I don't think 'someone has to do it'. No, someone doesn't. The school doesn't need extra stuff.

I am nevertheless grateful that some people want to do it. That's up to them. I do other stuff (set up our walking bus, been in to do a special class) when I can. I think most people should try and do something for their community as a matter of principle, but not everyone will. That's their choice: they just shouldn't then complain when stuff isn't there. But their 'contribution' does not have to be the PTA: many people will be involved in things beyond the school or at work or with family and friends.

I'm sure I'm simply saying what many have already said but don't have time to read the thread today, sorry.

oooh hello MI. we agree again I see

I think someone does 'have to do it', there are schools which need extra stuff.

For example, in our school the PTA applies for funding for after school clubs (anything from football to chess) and then sets them up. Who else is going to do that?

An after school club is not a need, it's a want, unless it is childcare in which case it should be properly organised by childcare providers.

Message withdrawn

Our school doesn't need the extra stuff. However, without the funds raised by the Parent Council (in particular the Winter Fair), the school trips in June would cost the parents a lot more - if they could be run at all. As it is, we just have to contribute £5 to them.

In Scotland the role of the Parent Council is to:

-support the school in its work with pupils
-represent the views of all parents
-encourage links between the school, parents, pupils, pre-school groups and the wider community
-report back to the Parent Forum (ie all the parents/carers of children at the school).

Our school's Parent Council is an amalgam of what was the PTA and the old School Board. We are very fortunate in that we have a number of teachers who want to be involved, so teachers are also included in our Parent Council.

IMHO (and perhaps biased by the thinking behind the Scottihs legislation), a PTA should be about more than just fund raising and should also be about improving the partnership with the school so that our children's education will benefit. That, at the end of the day, is after all why they are at school.

Because I'm busy doing other things. To you they may not be as important, to me they are.

After school clubs may be a want for some but I think they are a need for other children.

For example our PTA applies to Children in Need for a grant - children whose parents cannot afford to pay can attend for free or at a lower rate.

Same goes for school trips - the PTA sometimes donates money to cover the cost.

prettybird, I think you're approach is right: but because the school and parents would like the extras (and we do) then we still can't expect people to help out.

I would be much happier with the PTA if it was, indeed, something like a cross between it and the governing body, which it sounds like is the case in Scotland.

No taxation without representation!

... I though I should add that as a Parent Council we see it as our repsonsbility ot communciate what is being doen/what parents can do to help - to other parents. We do not see it is necessary for every single parent to be on the Parent Council (even though we wrote a consitition with no limit on the number of members!). We are still working on how best we do that communication: the school gate is not the best place, as many parents (eg us) are not there - or are in a rush).

Yorkshirepudding - we are only friends with a couple of people on the Parent Council - and with whom we would prbably have been friends anyway. However, it has opened my eyes to people from a whole lot of different backgrounds to the one I am used to.

Willself: School Boards in Scotland never had as many pwers as they did in England, and what few "powers" they did have got taken away when they changed to Parent Council.

What we have is a lot of influence - and the head teacher has a "duty and requierment" to come to the meetings (or to send a representative). However, she is not allowed to give her opinion if this deffers from a Council strategy as the council is her employer

The only partical power we have left is in being on the panel (and to be fair, the Coucnil has left it so that we can be in the majority) for head teacher and depute head teacher appointments.

In Britain, after school club costs can mostly be claimed (80%) through those entitled to Working Tax credits. So why does the PTA have to subsidise this?

I meant after-school clubs as in activities provided on-site for a hour or so, hence my of example football or chess.