Can you please explain to me why you would choose not to help at a PTA event?

[Hassled]

A genuine question, although I have to admit to being a tad exasperated at the moment. I feel I'm missing a point somewhere, but I'm not sure what.

Let's say that there was a big PTA fundraising event (BBQ) coming up. The PTA have sent out newsletters etc making it clear that they want to raise funds to improve the school playground and to replace existing sports strips. You plan to attend with your DP, you're not in any way unwell and don't have a baby in tow. Why would you not volunteer to run a stall for half an hour? If you were specifically asked if you could help, why would you say no?

All I can come up with is a) you value the rare time you have as a family too much to want to interrupt the evening by one parent being elsewhere for half an hour or b) you haven't really grasped the reason PTA events take place (i.e. the improved playground) and dismiss the events as not really your concern. Both of which are valid, I guess, but I really want to know what else goes on in people's minds in these cicumstances. Have I just turned into too much of a PTA harpy?

Any ideas? We've written, put up posters, held a drinks party, handed out fliers.......

Done a survey - 10% return rate with all the reasons people have used on here.....

Have you tried phoning people and speaking to them directly? It's much easier to get people to engage with you than expecting them to bother to fill in a form and post it back to you.

There was a thread recently about people being outraged when they are phoned!

At my dc school the PTA do more than just fund-raising, they also ask for volunteers to help the Literacy Co-ordinator sort out the new library or help to set up after-school clubs (not do them, just get ideas, people, funding etc).

I haven't read the thread but it seems there's PTAs and there's PTAs...

But have you tried it Seeker? Can't complain if you haven't. It's hardly the same as being called by double glazing salesmen.

Haven't read all the responses but as I work long hours full time in a stressful job there is no way I can be arsed with any PTA stuff. I rarely attend any events either as they're invariably crap unless alcohol and no kids are involved!

I'm more than happy to chuck cash at the PTA however so that is where my contribution lies.

Seeker, If no-one wants to participate then perhaps you should do likewise. Maybe once the school fairs etc, stop, parents will notice and organise themselves. Or alternatively, not notice at all! Either way, problem solved.

How about roping in the Head to ask for volunteers?

Can you get each class, with their teacher, to dream up things that they would like to do, and then get the children to be ambassadors for the PTA and rope their parents in as volunteers? (bit underhand!)

Just think how much easier it would be if people were willing to give pure unadulterated cash without the need for numerous events. Get parents to set up direct debits and dispense with all this nonsense!!

But I like the numerous events! It helps to get to know people and to know how these things help the school.

I know that it is not everyone's 'bag' but I really think these sort of things are good for children too.

We recently did an art exhibition for our Africa theme. A chap came in and was the grumpiest man I have ever met! It was a lot of hard work but the children were so pleased to see their art work displayed and then sold.

We made a pittance ie £260 so it was not a great fund raiser but the children were chuffed and the teachers loved it too.

And ds told me that he loves me coming to help at school and being on the PTA!!

I was just about to start a thread on this, because completely not by design and more by accident I have found myself vice chairman (ffs) of the PTA. As a novice at this, this thread makes for depressing reading. Apart from collision's wonderful cinema club idea.

So overall, the general preference is for a few good ideas instead of many requests for cash/participation, and clearly set out funding needs - ie we need to raise XX for XXX?

moodlum - - the general consensus is that parents generally do not want to get so involved in school stuff.

they do not want a social life within the school.

They do not mind paying out for things for their children as long as it does not mean they have to go out of their way.

So £2.50 for cinema, drink and popcorn, 2 hours of cheap childcare is fine.

going to bingo night or quiz night or barn dance/hotpot night is not so good.

I am going to suggest in Sept that we tell parents we want to make £xxxx in order to purchase a particular item. Parents then know what we are saving for. I have no idea what PTA have paid for in the past year but I am new!

I've not read all this thread - but I don't generally volunteer because of the 'clique factor'. There is a usual core of PTA members who do a good job at all the events BUT when i have volunteered to help out, I feel like such a usless outsider despite all my efforts to make polite conversation etc. I've tried 3 times now & each time it's not got any better - they all know each other & I end up feeling like I've just crawled out from under a stone!

...oh AND I get annoyed when they send out stroppy notes saying that an event is cancelled because they couldn't get enough vounteers. They shoudl try welcoming those that DO try!!

@Collision on Tue 15-Jul-08 15:56:23

sounds really good, might suggest this myself. Do they actually all sit still to watch it all?!

I'm with Whizz, ours is so cliquey, I'd rather die than get involved.

I pity those that genuinely can't be arsed, those that say well it ain't gonna benefit my kids so why should I give a stuff What a poor example of a sense of community to give to their kids.

at the risk of sounding like my long-since dead grandmother that's where this country's gone wrong - no-one cares about anyone other than themself any more. Not an example I particularly want to set for my kids.

For me - I am doing childcare during the day, in the evening when DH is home I am either working on the business, or collapsed in a small heap not capable of doing something else.

Weekends I am better with, but being totally honest - people terrify me. I have done a 6 week parents course at school this term, and I didn't relax and barely managed to speak for most of it. These kind of things wind me up with anxiety.

I have volunteered - was on the pre-school committee (not that it involved much but I did do it).

I do plan to volunteer more when DS starts at preschool as I will have the energy then!

Totally agree with Whizzz.

Only read the OP but suspect this has kicked off as it's a lot of posts

Why I don't help:

erm, I work 40 hours a week and commute another 20
I don't have TIME
I am happy to donate cash but time is something I don't have
I'd rather pay for a new playground bench myself than stand at a hot stall for an hour of my precious weekend

And I did a stint as Chair of a playgroup and worked VERY hard for nothing for a while when I wasn't working ft oth.

I also don#t see why I sohuld justify myself to the PTA, which is supposed to be voluntary.

In answer to op: I don't want to. I'll probably come (although don't want to) and spend money. I'll bake cakes if necessary but I don't want to do much else. Thank god at least one will be at secondary school soon so I'll get a year's break before it starts again.

My daughter's secondary school does just ask for money at beginning of term. And that's it. You don't have to pay but I will because I prefer the straightforwardness.

There's nothing more disheartening (right word??) than trying to flog a few raffle tickets for the summer fair than to have a response such as

'Why should I?'

'This school's never done anything for us'

'You're having a laugh, love'

Or a tut-tut with a 2 minute shake of head.

Nothing to do with working or sah parents. Btw, I still haven't read the thread but I think the OP was a fair question - and wanting some genuine answers.