You reluctantly concede you are indeed a living breathing liberalpinko cliche when...

[motherinfestivemood]

You're capable of dithering for a full five minutes between the Organic and the Fair Traded bananas

You vividly remember the first time you took a deep, transgressive breath and bought South African produce

You used to think sex shops were the most oppressive places out, and now you think they're a necessary element of self expression

If and when you find out you're not on any secret lists (insert files, phone-taps, etc, as appropriate) you'll be terribly miffed

Your children's stockings have fair-traded chocolate coins in them

And, for our more mature members...
A secret part of you feels nostalgia for the 80s, because You Knew Where You Were with Thatcher

If someone shouts 'Maggie Maggie Maggie' at you, you'll respond automatically.

I could go on

... your dds automatically chime in with "Eewwwwww!" when it gets to the romantic dewy-eyed bits in the story of Cinderella...

You still call Council tax 'Poll Tax'
You open any thread by MI and know EXACTLY what she is talking about
You agonise over whether to buy bananas at all - all that plane fuel!

blu, i know that some of the threads have been started by MI even before I open them..

bundle, me too!

Well, this is all very well, but what do you think of the Kimberley Quinn business? Let's get our priorities straight here.

much of this rings bell

however I still avoid socialist workers activists as though they have particularly nasty cases of leprosy

even if I totally agree with the latest 'sign this' stall I won't sign purely because they are, after all's said and done, socialist workers

I doubt quinn would know what the correct response is to Maggie Maggie Maggie...(except "oh is that the name of my new nanny??")

you can still chant to yourself " we won't pay our loans back, we won't pay our loans back.dadada,dadaa"

how about nescafe coffee? not allowed in our house!

But Twig - Soc Workers are not liberal!

(how many members of the SWP does it take to change a lightbulb?
none to go up the ladder and 3 to shout 'CHANGE the lightbulb, CHANGE the lightbulb' outside Brixton Tube)

when I was at uni there was a really loud-mouthed socialist, head of the union type bod .. really got in your face and had a view about anyone and everything

anyhoo

after he graduated .. was a couple of years ahead of me ... someone saw him in the city .. complete with bowler hat and briefcase

you still can't walk past the South African Embassy without thinking you need to stay for at least 5 hours

friends tell you they can taste the emancipation in your coffee

you know where all the Co-operative Bank cashpoints within 10 miles are

And when you still spell it 'Afrika'

You buy wooden toys hand carved by Peruvian orphans.

All xmas pressies for the adults come from Oxfam Unwrapped (actually a very very easy way to sort out pressies and feel ok about the money spent! not sure how some of them will take it tho!)

Just can't face the thought of telling ds that people eat animals- opression of other species and all that. Panicking about jelly at parties- ffs

Definitely feel very nostalgic for the time when I intinctively knew what was wrong and right in the world- not mature enough to weigh up all of the arguments and try to come to a pragmatic decision about anything. Didn't know the meaning of the word!

pmsl

still feel a sense of sadness whenever I am on our local beach and see Billy Bragg's million pound house glowering on the cliff face.

But does he give lots of it away? I really don't mind even erstwhile Reds being mega-rich, as long as they redistribute quite a lot of it.

you hide the copy of How To Spend It (nicked from PIL's) in your ensuite loo so no guests will see it. Oh hold on, you feel guilty for having an ensuite loo.

I opened this thread two hours after I'd held a non-religious celebration of the winter solstice...

... even though I attend a nice anglo-catholic church.

Your 4 or 5 year-old son says very loudly and publicly, whenever he sees a photo of George W, "Oh look, mummy, that's the nasty president. What nasty thing do you think he'll do next?"

By age 4 your son has stuffed over 500 envelopes for various indigent arts organizations.

You listen to the criticism from in-laws etc who say you really ought to be getting a driving license, but you secretly think you're a better person for not driving. (Admitted misuse of liberalpinko sentiment.)

Love it!

Hearing "Maggie Maggie Maggie" always reminds me of the Not the 9 o'clock new sketch where a big crowd shout it, then it cuts to maggie arriving at number 10 and they start chanting "Maggie Maggie Maggie, in in in"

Hester - you're much more hardcore than me: I can only complete 2 of those!

But anyway - you lot should check out the reaction you get when you:

• take a baby with a terry nappy on to a Spanish doc ( "does she have a problem with her hips?" )

• tell an Australian that your friend's ds plays with dolls (not sure if this works for all Australians - her jaw hit the floor and she didn'tsuggest we take her son to play with friend's ds again)

• try to explain to your Spanish landlord why you don't want to spray the trees with chemicals (damn thing died anyway)

If only they sold either fair traded or organic bananas in Spain.

By the time you were 8 you have already gone canvasing and spent hours making labour party rosettes.By the time you were 10 you had visited your first labour party conference in Wales and was horrified at how fast hose people could clear a buffet! By the time you were 16 had a heated 'debate' with Tim Yeo....a local tory at the time. By the time you were 17 you spent hours canvasing on your own for the local council elections. By the time you were 18 you made an appoinyment with the local Balclays bank manager, told him it was to open an account, but realy you wemt to snear at him and taunt him about S. Africa. At 19 your father got you a signed postcard from Arther Scargil (honest!) And by the time you were 43 became a sad middle of the roader.

I feel this glow of friends around me

Marina, DP suggested a while ago he was behaving like an Angry Young Man. He was briefly reassured when I told him he wasn't, at least, a Grumpy Old Man, but less than chuffed when I decided that in fact he was a Peevish Middle Aged Man.

I can complete ALL of Hester's

Great thread!

What if you resigned over Clause 4 in 1994 AND could still recite it if p**d enough?

Went to an anti-apartheid meeting aged 10.

Had to be physically restrained from chucking my pants at Billy Bragg at Glastonbury 12 years ago.
So, socialist credentials intact:

When dd thinks all bosses are women because mummy is.

When it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to buy fruit or veg because every year there's a new boycott and when you add it to non-GM, organic, food miles and fair trade you're left with organic sprouts and salsify which I don't know how to cook.

When you still sleep in your Support the Liverpool Dockers T-shirt (bit snug now)

When you still have to switch off when the tories are on telly.

Agree about Socialist Workers, humourless bunch - used to take their placards at marches and rip the Socialist Worker bit off.

When Dd1 refuses LOUDLY to go to Mcdonalds with family friends for a "treat" because "they serve rubbish food and they're not very nice to the people who work for them" and announces that "we are organic, actually".

When same child insists on giving her pocket money to beggars.

No Nestle in our house either!

oh leave Billy Bragg alone - please, let an old woman have her memories.
I spent my whole 20s and 30s NOT going to have children, unless they were billy bragg's.
Dh is sure ds is his.........

I think this is a really clever thread motherinfestivemood - even if my husband is stood behind me explaining half of it (and muttering that its time I was in bed)

I'm gutted about Billy too, although I agree with JanH that I would feel better if he gave loads away too

Fab thread though MI