Lyra, Berrie, Zeb, Binkle and Oggsfrog - new chat thread here.

[LyraSilvertongue]

Hope you all find me.

Asda won't deliver to me unfortunately. Will dd be niggly today with having had disturbed sleep?

Supposed to be working on Festi tickets/admin today but I think I'll ring the doctor when I get back from school run.
For the past couple of weeks I've had this horrible sensation of having something stuck in the back of my throat. No amount of swallowing or throat clearing makes any difference. It really is unpleasant. All the time.
I looked in the mirror with a torch last night and there is a fleshy flap thingy sticking up at the back of my throat .
Think I'll see what the Dr reckons.

Oh dear Oggs...let us know what he/she thinks.
Dd is niggly every day at the moment...grrr.

that sounds like a nodule or something Oggs?

Well, I have well and truly blown my diet this weekend although god I enjoyed doing it

After mums chinese birthday bash on Friday I checked and I was well and truly out of ketosis so I thought what the hell, not so much foodwise but had quite a lot to drink yesterday afternoon - led astray by the boys from the gym of all people - the naughty lot - thought it was their job to make us healthier (actually really, REALLY did not mind being led astray by them - twas nice )

Good morning all!

Well, that was a lovely weekend. I well and truly fell off the wagon, so I need to get straight back on it again today. I'm not sure Atkins will necessarily start today, as I'm too tired and, ahem, a bit hungover, but tomorrow. Definitely. I promise.

We had lots of girly gossip and decided that I'll almost inevitably leave DH, but then I got home and he was being really really sweet and nice as opposed to his normal grumpy git self. Which just makes it all soooo much more difficult. Still, at least if I have a plan it's a start.

And Oggs, good luck with the doc.

What were the boys from the gym doing at your Mum's birthday bash? Just how far astray were you led?

Wow thats big Zeb....?

It takes a lot of guts to admit a relationship really isnt going to work out after all - if you've made that decision I kind of applaud you tbh

Morning Zeb .
Glad you had a good time. Hope things get better for you whatever that takes.

Managed to get a Dr's appointment so I'm off there now.

Ha Oggs, no, weekend started with chinese banquet for mums bday - not too bad, I stuck to protein, didnt drink however, when I checked in the morning - I was out of ketosis so at car boot all day sat - was very good, stayed on SS. Then yesterday was Blackpool Fun Run, dh was in it running with the personal training lot - we all met up for drinks after and I got basically s*faced in the space of about 2 hours because obviously I havent had a drink for weeks and weeks. Then me and dh went for indian supper. In fact that was the first thing I ate yesterday though I dont suppose that is going to help me much - the cocktails will have done enough damage I reckon but hey, its not often a girl of my age gets to knock about with lithe twenty something god type creatures so whatagonnado???

My best advice Zeb is to not make any 'be all and end all' decisions.
As I said dh and I really thought we'd come to the end of the line at one point. We still loved each other but didn't feel we were making each other happy.
We separated but continued to see each other and it's funny, but the times we did see each other we got on much better as if a weight had been lifted. We were only 'apart' for a matter of months, but I think that if we had not had the discussions and done what we did, then we would not be together today.
Good luck withwhatever you decide to do - it won't be easy. Most of all be kind to yourselves.

Sorry Zeb. You weren't even asking for advice.

Morning Binkle...that's what I like to hear, people having fun..less of the saintly stuff, just makes me feel like a porker!

Zeb, sorry you are feeling this way. From what I gather you are pretty much a single parent. One of the best things about marriage for me is being a team giving each other day top day support as we muddle through. I know dh loves his farm. Would any of your relationship problems improve if you settled as a family in London? Might dh consider renting out the farm as a trial if it came to that or lose you?
(Berrie attempts to meddle in something she knows nothing about as if all of this has not occurred to Zeb! )

Oggs...I've been butting in too while you posted that...

Thanks to you all! And all advice is always welcome.
I'm certainly not going to jump right now, or any day soon, but it is something I need to think through properly in terms of the absolute practicalities just so I know. London's really out of the question as that's just a short term solution and actually wouldn't solve anything. Renting out the farm isn't a goer either because of the cattle, which I'm not going to bore you with again....
I think my BF hit the nail right on the head this w/e when she said that basically, I'm not in control of anything and that's not a place I like to be. (word of advice for the future - keep away from Alpha Males!)
Hmm, but when your DH agrees that he hasn't fancied you since you got pregnant and that to summarise, we should keep together because of DS, you know that this is not a good place to be.
But funnily, I feel a LOT better and calmer, having spoken at length over the weekend with someone who's know me for 20 years.

He said that Zeb??

Agree about the whole Alpha Males thing however, even they have to realise that you only have to cast the net a bit wider and they then become very small fish in a big pond so to speak - in other words - they need to get over themselves!!

A lot o the reason why I am getting the shop is to regain some control of my life too.

Yes, he really did. I was VERY drunk, and he was pretty drunk as we agreed that he'd married the wrong woman and that he thought we should make the best of it. Funnily enough, we are actually getting on a bit better as a result, but that's probably just temporary until the next explosion.

Binkle, I promise I've not been stalking, but I've just read what you wrote on another thread, I guess in the same vein to what I've been talking about, and I'm so sorry - that entire thread sounds a bit familiar actually. Big hugs.

Ah dear Zeb.

Oggs, how is your throat?

Well, I've just made my first enquiry to set up a meeting with a solicitor to find out where I stand and what my options are. 6.30am this morning I spent rounding up and loading cattle so DH can show them at some county show thing. You just realise you can't spend every summer for the next 30 years doing this. Particularly when you get yelled at for your efforts by someone still in London.

What is your dream then Zeb? Where should you like to live?

Oggs, am worried about your throat!

Me? Well in the first instance renting a clean, low maintenance, cute little town house in the middle of Truro within walking distance of work & nursery would do me just fine. And the centre of town really does have some lovely Georgian architecture. Then I'll just relax, take stock and work out the future. To be fair, I'd stay in Cornwall for the time being so DS can spend weekends at the farm with his dad, as I really don't want it to have to be sold. Having said that, my 'share' would buy me a very nice 3-4 bed house just about anywhere, so he'd just have to buy me out. And let's not also forget that his business also only still exists because of me.

Sorry, I really don't mean to sound avaracious, as this is not about the money - it's only taken me until I'm almost 40 to understand that money is not the most important thing in the world , but being able to afford a house without a mortgage is very important to a secure financial future. And I also appreciate that most women in my situation wouldn't even come close to being this fortunate. I'm also fortunate in that I've got family who will gladly help me out with things like deposits and rent in the short term so I'm not destitute and can fend for myself.

'sfunny. I actually feel incredibly relaxed. More than I have in a long time. Still, I have to face the worst bit yet, and that could take some time.

Thanks all.

And Oggs - how IS your throat?

Glad to hear you still want to be in Cornwall!

Having spent the weekend in Dorset, which is lovely, it makes you aware of how nice Cornwall is. That and I really don't want to have to start all over again, so it's best not to make too many seismic changes in one go. Down the line, who knows..... it probably depends on where DS goes to school ultimately, and it would not be fair to move him so far away from his father that he'd never see him.

Well throat thing turned into an epic.
Basically Dr could see no cause. Thought feeling was possibly caused by infection and prescribes antibiotics and makes referral to ENT. Took the oppurtunity of mentioning I was on CD.
Went home took tab before half sachet CD. Two hours later feel very odd - dizzy, nauseous.
Sit down, fall asleep for hour, throw up. Throw up again. Throw up again. No food in stomach so only mucus and blood spots coming up . Agonising stomach pains.
Go to bed with hot wheat pad. Can't sleep because of pain. Throw up etc etc Manage to sleep.
Wake up feeling fine if somewhat drained.
Lump sensation gone so phone Dr, tell him I won't be taking any more tabs thankyou very much. He says he'll cancel referral and that tab had irritated empty stomach lining (hence blood). You don't say .
So.
Down another 3lbs. Bloody sensation has come back .

When are you seeing the solicitor Zeb? It sounds like you've essentially decided that this is the way forward.

OMG Oggs! That's awful. Are you going to see the doc again or just try to battle through?

I hope you feel better soon.