Husband responsibilities??

[mcm]

Ok so you have heard it all before. I am returning to work next week having arranged for my mother to mind DS, am very emotional at the moment. I had arranged for Mother to mind DS for a weekend away with my DH's buddies,(both of us getting away together albeit with his buddies and theri wives!)I have had to ask for time off already to mind DS as mother coming back on Monday. (and take 2 of my annual leave weeks also to make sure that the baby was looked after) DH has decided that as I could be working, he will now consider going away to do a security weekend instead. He has already used one of his weeks annual leave for this purpose, telling me about it when it was arranged, he automatically assumed that I, as I have nothing else to do will always make the arrangements!! I asked who would mind the baby if I was working and he actually turned around to say...oh I forgot about him!!
Now, maybe I am very naive (?sp) but he is very well able to arrange for him to go out, take this weekend, another outing with his buddies, I jokinly suggested that I could go for a change and he could babysit, but "he is expected" to attend (which of course he is) I just wanted to see if he would make any suggestions, he did...why don't you phone someone up and get them to sit with the baby?? Anyone???? I asked. Our DS is 5 months old!!!! No well he meant (he said) when the baby was older about 4/5yrs, he would not mind a babysitter. (well neither would I but right now... My Mum is away at the moment and I am very reluctant to leave DS with strangers.
Am I being unreasonable to expect some consideration from my DH???? I actually do not have a problem staying at home myself, it is the principle of the thing that I would naturally be the one to sort out babyminding etc etc.
I am getting increasingly annoyed with DH about a range of things and am fully aware that a lot of it will probably end up being my fault!!

I showed DH Trading Places, and this is what happened.
Tonight, for the first time, (it's going to start raining men ....no no no) he EMPTIED THE DISHWASHER.

I'm stunned. This is a major breakthrough.
Thank you, mumsnet.

(he didn't put anything away in the cupboards, but hey, it's a start .....)

Re the booking of babysitters and uncle attitude..
Some of close friends got divorced last year which really shook us up, and one of the major gripes when mud was being thrown was that she, as SAHM did all the family organising, and he basically lived in a hotel type environment in his own home, he even used to make his own lunch on saturdays and leave her to do the boys and her own. This built up a huge steam of resentment in her so after his affair all this came out and he was astonished at her anger. Too late of course

Great, the chance for a rant.... Its this lying-in bed at the weekend thing. The kids wake at 6.30 and every W/E its the same "Go on its your turn" "please I have to get up at 6 every morning" Never mind the fact that I have to get up at 6 too, get the kids up and run him to the station. We have now compromised. Saturday I get to lie in, Sunday its his turn. Perfect! Not! Why is it that on my day when I come down the kids are still in their PJ's and waiting for breakfast. On his day I get up, get them dressed, fed, feed the dog, chickens, rabbit and take DH cup of tea! That is just not equal!

He constantly moans how hard his work is and how tired he is. He does work hard granted but then I have the responsiblity for looking after both kids, the house, all the pets, sorting all the bills and shopping, running DS to nursery every pm and run my own business from home. Since having the kids he has never done a single thing extra to help. Now I am pg again and it seems I am doing even more because he is so busy. Grrrrrrrrr....... If I complain he gets sroppy and says he will gladly swap.... Yeah Sure!

like to see him try.

They will only get away with their behaviour if they are allowed to do so.......
I refuse to do my dh's washing - he has his own laundry basket; if I cook he washes and vice versa; he cleans out the goldfish, he bought them so he cares for them; he does his own ironing; he takes dd for her bath and reads her bedtimes stories to her; he empties the potty if he sat her on it; he sets the table and gets dd ready and he does 90% of the DIY. The way I figured it, he could do all of these things before he met me so he could bloody well do them afterwards too. There were no compromises, I work just as hard as he does and he knows it because I let him take over at the weekends sometimes.

Just get out your whips and get them into shape!