Hi everyone
Hope you don't mind but it would really help me to talk about this at the moment. My dh was married once before, he has a 19 (almost 20) year old son and a 16 year old son who have always lived with their mother. DH and I have been together a long time now (married 10 years) and we have a two year old son. To cut a long story short, we have had regular access visits with the boys over the years, they used to spend every second or third weekend with us and also a few weeks a year during school holidays. Even though we've all gotten along well, I have always been secretly relieved that they haven't lived with us, mainly because of the added stress (dh travels with work and is always busy), and because my BIL and SIL are in a step-family situation and have had some terrible problems with it. We also had a situation a couple of years ago when the eldest son stayed with us for a while and it became a very stressful and difficult time.
Anyway... the terrible news is that their mother has just passed away. She was only 42, she went on a cruise with her sister and after a night out drinking, was apparently found dead the next morning. It is so tragic, my stomach has been tied up in knots all day. I feel so sorry for the boys and I feel very sad about her because I liked her, but at the pit of my stomach is this worry and uncertainty about what the implications are going to be for my own family now. I feel incredibly selfish thinking this way, but dh and his ex have had on-going problems with his eldest son and I feel that the two of them together would be more than I could handle. It may not come to that, I don't even know what is going to happen next, but I feel so wound up and sick to the stomach about what's happening. Would just appreciate chatting about this.. thanks.