Swagger Inn thread 166 - where the forrin one tries to come up with a witty title but fails

[WickedWenchOfTheNorth]

Morning. DS has been packed off, grumbling, to school. hurrah! Wildlife report - crows, pigeons and distant geese. His bus driver was rocking the highwayman look, with a scarf over her face instead of a mask. I am working. Honest I'm just a bit bored of invoices and spreadsheets...

Afternoon
Watching another lovely day from my desk, still I am a bit ahead of myself, so hopefully no late finish - pink fizz is chilling in the fridge & Lucifer is waiting for me this evening (I wish)

Afternoon. OMG there are six flies in the kitchen. I've given the flytrap a warning that it's going back to the shop unless it starts doing its job.

DH has cleaned my car after taking it down muddy roads to the golf club. His is in for MOT tomorrow, it had better pass.

Hope DS had a good day Helen.

for all, enjoy your evening.

Evening wenches.

How’s the kitchen looking after MrApricot’s soup making extravaganza?

Hope MiniHelen had a good first day back. Has MiniMiniApricot settled in?

It appears Lucifer is indeed waiting for you Fancy

Any more house news Wicked?

Tonight I plan to get into my pjs, have a drink and start my jigsaw.

Evening all. My interest is duly perked.

DS seemed to have a bearable day at school, though he was very grumbly first thing, and then again about SportingActitivy this evening. He's going to be in a grouch forever since he's going to either have to go to sleep earlier on school nights, or be tired. And he won't like either of those options. [eye roll]

Glad to hear that MrApricot cleaned your car Apricot - fingers crossed for the MOT, and for your flytrap behaving itself.

Am trying to eat and watch Strike. And type. Stupid cat is determined to infiltrate my lap. It's all getting a bit fraught on the multitasking front!

Lucifer is even more ready for Fancy now

Do you think the flies are saying “oi lads, there’s this Venus character and she says she wants to have us for dinner - let’s head over”?

DC don’t apply logic to the being tired thing do they? says the wench who keeps intending to have an early night and then doesn’t

I think Lucifer might need more than one of us. I’ll help.

Jigsaw edges are done.

Tell the fly trap our expectations are high apricot and good luck with the MOT.

Lucifer kept all his clothes on AGAIN but the episode was particularly hilarious so all is forgiven. Sainsbury's cheapo pink Cava is also very nice, so a most satisfactory evening

Morning wenches.

Hurrah for a satisfactory evening Fancy! That gif is very watchable isn’t it?

I’ve had a bit of a lie in and am about to get ready to do the exercisething. Might do the parent visiting thing later. There will no doubt further encouragement to get DS1 to get organised and find stuff out. Also ... homework’s back! Hurrah! said no one ever.

I was planning to order the new Strike book but they raised the price all of a sufden on the website I was ordering from so I think I'm going to wait. Maybe.

No more house news Letus but I plan to contact the guy that's renovating the little cottage I might rent to hear if he made any progress.

I had a slightly erotic dream about Peter Jones from Dragon's Den last night

Morning. I had a lie-in, combined with a rubbish night's sleep that culminated in me cricking my neck sometime between 8-10am. So now I'm feeling v. sorry for myself.

On the plus side, I did watch Strike last night, so that was good.

I ought to be doing stuff (slowly and carefully, with no sudden movements). There will also be arguments discussions about homework in this house.

Well that’s just rude of them Wicked Good luck with house stuff. Just going to gloss over the dream part

Oh Helen, definitely slow movements today.

Exercisething done. Washing done, another load on. Shower done. Going to have lunch and then get DS2 to start homework, once he’s finished watching The Muppets.

Afternoon. Beautiful day here, but my plan to sit outside and read and do sudokus was wrecked by the merry widow* two doors away having a garden party. I noticed with horror earlier that there is a huge bouncy castle in the garden which I assume is for her grandchildren. I think it's her 70th birthday as she mentioned something about it at the VE Day road gathering. The music is horrendous, it's tom-tom style stuff which seems to be on a loop as there's no let up. I've had to come in.

*I call her that because since her partner died in February she's had a succession of workmen at the house doing God knows what, even throughout lockdown.

The kitchen is fine LetUs, he does clean up after the soup making. I think DGS has settled in alright, although the missing jumper hasn't been found. It was outside on his bag and when he came back his bag was there but the jumper had gone.

The fly situation is reaching biblical proportions. We swatted 10 between us this morning and there are at least that many there again. Urgh! Venus is very happily accepting all the dead bodies but isn't making any attempt to catch any.

The car passed its MOT thanks Fancy, but when I got into my car to take him to fetch it there were 3 flies in there! It's a conspiracy.

Good luck with the cottage WW and homework Letus and Helen.

and also at the Merry Widow apricot. Your flytrap is going to be very spoilt at this rate - it will sit there and sulk into you hand-feed it (Much like a cat really.)

We've also had nice weather, so washing has been dome, DH has mowed the lawn, gardening debris from last weekend has been put on the bonfire to burn later tidied away, and DH is currently trying to make Jam

at Wicked's dream. I think I may have had one involving Strike, but I don't really remember anything noteworthy. There was also a wierd one where I was living in a house that was pretty much a castle, but had other people owning/living in different rooms - then I went outside and got lost, even though I had a compass. The usual dream illogical weirdness.

Nothing has been done about homework, apart from asking DS when he thinks he's going to do it. I like to try and give him options/the illusion of being in control of his own life. I think I'll just have to nag him though.

Neck is still sore but I think it's easing off.

Why why why do people think it’s acceptable to make their neighbours have to listen to their thumping sodding music? Because they’re stupid fucking twatbadgers who have the consideration levels of a wet fucking trumpet and only fucking well think about themselves. Fucking bastards can get in the fucking bin. I hope it fucking rains the next time they have a party and whatever they’re blasting their dicking music out of gets rained on and ruined. Bastards.

The flytrap isn’t singing to you and demanding to be called Seymour is it?

Yeah I try that too with DS2 re homework and life in general Helen. I usually end up nagging him. I do love weirdy wench dreams

Have just had chicken and chips for dinner. It was completely delicious but I feel a bit sick now.

Your fly trap needs to pull its finger out apricot, lazy bugger. Yay for the MOT
Are they workmen or 'workmen'?

that was almost as epic as a slate-as-a-plate rant!

How's the neck now Helen?

I have been gardening today - more weeding mostly and moving some self seeded cyclamen and then out for a walk with FancyMan.

thanks Fancy. Pisses me off —in case you couldn’t tell — that for instance Apricot can’t relax in her own garden with a sudoku - love a sudoku - because of tosspots like that, or you have a neighbour who finds it impossible to have a phone conversation inside the house when it’s nice and has to have it on speakerphone.

I just read that you’d been moving some cybermen in your garden . Perhaps I’ve had enough

LOL at Cybermen in the garden - there's a planter with a difference! Best get yourself to bed LetUs - the HBFs are waiting...

I'm going to take some ibuprofen and head for the hayloft. Fingers corssed, my neck will have sorted itself out in the morning.

Morning wenches.

Looks like it’s going to be a lovely day so we’ll get all the beds stripped today. I also have a fuckton of ironing to do and I want to go for a walk. I may time that to coincide with the football.

Strike tonight.

Morning. It's also lovely and sunny here. I may go out for a nice long walk with you LetUs, and leave my toddler at home. Yes - you thought DS was at high school, but apparently he's actually a toddler, judging by the reaction I got when I told him he had to do homework today. FFS and all that. He doesn't know what to do and he hasn't talked to his friends about it. These are his baffling reasons for not wanting to do it. (There are clear instructions on his homework app.)

In other news, DH is still in bed, and I've cooked up a load of apples.

The delights of teenagers (or near teens) rational, polite and funny adults one minute, overgrown toddlers the next.

Totally agree with you Letus. And about sudokus - have you ever checked out Cracking the Cryptic videos on YouTube?

You shall have as many ⭐️ and HBFs as you can handle Helen

No homework today but to be fair so far DS2 hasn’t been in much. And we’ve heard it all before MiniHelen so you might as well crack on with it.

I shall have a look at that Fancy. There was a good podcast about puzzles and stuff. I’ll see if I can find it

It's videos by some competitive puzzlers so they do some really tricky sudokus, but they're soooo enthusiastic about them and very modest that it's quite sweet to watch. The comments section is possibly the gentlest on the internet too

That sounds just me cup of tea.

The podcast isn’t available any more.

I think I’ve pretty much washed nearly everything and the ironing is done.

DS2 has attempted his French homework. I’m sitting in the garden and with a vodka and a book. The two may be connected.