wedding ettique help me please!!!

[ginnypotter]

ok if you were just invited to an evening reception (cheesy disco type thing) after the wedding would you....

a. expect your kids to be invited (there are kids at the main wedding but not sure what to do about evening only guests)?

b. expect to have to pay for drinks?

c. expect there to be a buffet?

please help, i'm not sure what people expect from an evening do, the people who have attended the wedding ceremony will have had 3 course meal at half 6 so imagining they won't want a buffet at 8, but not sure if people only invited to the evening do will be expecting food? and is it acceptable to have a pay bar? i don't want to offend people!!!

Message withdrawn

a. no
b. yes
c. yes probably but only nibbles not a full meal. Have seen done successfully at various weddings a hog roast, bacon sandwiches at 10pm, a cheese buffet (with port, veeery nice)

Message withdrawn

I'm with Cod. Evening dos are crap. Those invited feel like second class citizens. Have one big wedding with everyone you want there. Start mid afternoon and go through the evening.

However if you want answers to your actual questions then
(a) No
(b) NO
(c) Yes

a) Yes. (if their kids are too young, then they won't bring them will they?)

b) Yes - after one conciliatory bottle of wine left of table.

c) Yes

(but agree with cod either that personally I'd either invite people for dinner or not at all, makes things much easier socially. And a 4pm wedding with dinner at 6 or 7 means you don't need to pay for an evening buffet at all.)

Message withdrawn

can't really have a late wedding as we have 2 young children and so do a lot of the people who are coming and having a late meal at 8 will just not work with 10 kids under the age of 6. also money and venue constraints mean we can't have more than 40 at the service and meal, but there are lots more people we'd love to invite to the evening do.

this wedding malarky is a bloody minefield....

Message withdrawn

a - no
b - yes
c - yes

Although if main meal isn't til 6.30 not sure about c. Will people have finished eating before 8 even? I wouldn't have thought so...

a) no
b) I'd expect to be given wine, but pay for other drinks
c)not necessarily - if it's from 8.00 onwards then I wouldn't expect food.

Message withdrawn

In taht case I say just invite the 40 and be done with it...

Would not expect to bring dc's.
Would expect to pay for drinks.
Would expect a buffet and a cheesy DJ!
I love the evening bit - prefer it to the sit down meal!

no
would expect to pay for drinks
yes

We had a fab evening reception. Like the best club ever! Brother in Law on the decks (well, laptop) and loads of cheesy tunes.

Anyway, we had people asking us if kids were invited (even though we put their names on the invitatin )

Think its polite to provide some food and pay for a couple of drinks.

We provided a fork buffet at 8.30-9ish and had a free bar all night (til 2am!) but only had 60-70 guests so...

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

a) No
b) Yes
c) Yes

Message withdrawn

it will be really hard to restrict it to just 40 though if there are people you really want to be there.

a no
b don't mind either way tbh - perhaps first drink/toast offered
c yes but not necessarily more than nibbles/finger buffet

My evening do was brilliant.