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Original poster

wedding ettique help me please!!!

150 replies

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 17:36

ok if you were just invited to an evening reception (cheesy disco type thing) after the wedding would you....

a. expect your kids to be invited (there are kids at the main wedding but not sure what to do about evening only guests)?

b. expect to have to pay for drinks?

c. expect there to be a buffet?

please help, i'm not sure what people expect from an evening do, the people who have attended the wedding ceremony will have had 3 course meal at half 6 so imagining they won't want a buffet at 8, but not sure if people only invited to the evening do will be expecting food? and is it acceptable to have a pay bar? i don't want to offend people!!!

OP posts:
littlelapin · 30/07/2007 18:47

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collision · 30/07/2007 18:51

Dont confuse her LLapin!

My idea is far cheaper and easier!!!!!

littlelapin · 30/07/2007 18:53

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collision · 30/07/2007 19:01

But its not feasible in that the ceremony room will only hold 40.

And when you tell caterers etc it is a wedding then the price goes up.

If she has a party later then it will be cheaper and people really will understand.

collision · 30/07/2007 19:04

and bacon sandwiches is a bit of a cop out for an evening do.

We were invited to a night do of a so-called friend and were not warned in advance that there would be no food so we didnt eat or feed the children.

She had a stunning dress and the reception at lunch was fabulous (apparantly).

We all arrived in the evening to find sausage sarnies (and not enough for everyone) and no food for the kids and flaming ice cream cones!

A friend put on some CDs and the whole thing was crap.

And we had to buy our own drinks.

and she expected a present.

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:04

right so we think 40 people at 'wedding' inc meal, then everyone else at 8pm with late nibbles/buffet?

that was original plan, but then people said they don't like evening only dos cos they feel left out, so i thought maybe better to have everyone come at 4/5ish for a buffet and then cut cake/speeches so people who missed the service felt more involved etc

aaarrrgggghhhh!!! wedding planning is a logistical nightmare.....you just can't please everyone!

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BillWeasleyBeast · 30/07/2007 19:06

a) no they should be in bed
b) yes
c) yes probably depending on the venue - I went to one where the buffet was at about 10pm which was good cos it soaked up the booze

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:06

not gonna have party on diff day, cos we have already paid for use of hotel from 12midday to 12 midnight on day of wedding, so makes sense to use the venue.

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littlelapin · 30/07/2007 19:08

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collision · 30/07/2007 19:10

OK OK Mrs! Present is not based on quality of the do but on friendship of the bride and groom.

Point taken and no need for

Just that little effort was put in for the evening do we went to and money was asked for what was a rubbish do!

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:10

yes littlelapin, the room for the ceremony, which is also a dining room holds 40, but they have a marquee that can hold 150, so we do have room for everyone to eat together if we wanted, just don't have room for everyone to come to the ceremony

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milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 30/07/2007 19:11

Here's a novel idea get married earlier in the day and finish the whole celebrations by six - head of to the hotel/honeymoon for a bit of nookie, a shared bath with champagne and an early night

Why do people think they have to drag the whole thing out for hours???? is the day not complete unless you have some shitey disco and you leave at 11 I don't get it?

{grin]

collision · 30/07/2007 19:12

GP.....is there no way you could change the room for the ceremony?

That would solve a lot of problems.

Wedding ceremony for 100.

Champagne and buffet for 100 people. Bar that everyone pays for their own drinks.

Bouncy castle for kids?

Finishing at midnight.

collision · 30/07/2007 19:13

Could you not marry in the marquee?

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:13

that sounds nice, but then i would still have the issue of inviting one set of people to the ceremony and another set to the 'do' whatever that may be!

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:14

nope it's not licenced for marriages, only the room in the hotel

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:15

unfortunately we are stuck as the hotel is very small (only has 12 rooms) but very lovely, and the only room licenced for marriages is only big enough for 40 guests.

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FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 19:17

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collision · 30/07/2007 19:18

You will have to compromise somewhere then.

Difficult one.

I would go with the 40 people for ceremony and dinner.

And tell the rest there is only room for a small amount of people ie family and they will have to like it or lump it!

Or WHAT ABOUT A LIVE WEBCAM THAT EVERYONE CAN SEE IN THE MARQUEE IN THE CEREMONY ROOM!!!!

BellaBear · 30/07/2007 19:18

weddings are only licensed in permnent structures in this country.

I wouldn't expect kids to be invited
I would expect to pay for drinks
how about a much later serving of snacks? I went to a wedding where we ate v early (at five) and then about ten they brought out mini sausage and mash and mini fish and chips, which was very cool and welcome.

Apologies if all has been already said, didn't read whole thread.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 19:18

Message withdrawn

collision · 30/07/2007 19:19

that was my next question Cod!

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:19

thanks for all your help and suggestions guys, sorry feel like i am being really negative and putting down your great ideas, which is not what i'm trying to do! i'm really grateful for everyones thoughts and feelings, orgainising a wedding is sooo hard! you just can't please everyone!

so..... sit down meal for 40 (and evening nibbles for everyone at 10pm) or buffet for 100 at 5pm? which one?! i just don't know what's best now....

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collision · 30/07/2007 19:21

you just repeat yourself and dont take on board my brilliant (!) ideas!

ATEOTD you will have to do what you want but you were a bit mad to book such a small hotel when you wanted 100 people there.

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:21

chose it cos we got it relatively cheap, and it is soooooo beautiful, really old building and beautiful grounds, and for our budget, by far the nicest place we could find.

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