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Original poster

wedding ettique help me please!!!

150 replies

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 17:36

ok if you were just invited to an evening reception (cheesy disco type thing) after the wedding would you....

a. expect your kids to be invited (there are kids at the main wedding but not sure what to do about evening only guests)?

b. expect to have to pay for drinks?

c. expect there to be a buffet?

please help, i'm not sure what people expect from an evening do, the people who have attended the wedding ceremony will have had 3 course meal at half 6 so imagining they won't want a buffet at 8, but not sure if people only invited to the evening do will be expecting food? and is it acceptable to have a pay bar? i don't want to offend people!!!

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 19:21

Message withdrawn

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:23

webcam idea was inspired!
sorry can't keep up, i am paying attention to your ideas, i'm just very indecisive

OP posts:

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:24

cod there is a £3000 cancellation charge.........

OP posts:

collision · 30/07/2007 19:25

what time is the ceremony?

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:28

well, prob be
2pm service
3pm champagne and canapes
4.30pm sit down meal or buffet whichever we decide
6.30pm speeches and cutting of cake
8pm get drunk

but i'm open to any better ideas

OP posts:

collision · 30/07/2007 19:30

I would change it to 4pm wedding and canapes and champagne at 5pm.

Buffet for 100 at 6pm.

Blah blah for the rest of the do.

collision · 30/07/2007 19:30

but you still have prob of only 40 watching you get wed.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 19:31

Message withdrawn

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:32

do you think wedding at 3pm, then buffet for 100 at 5 would be ok? i don't want people (esp my mum) to miss cutting of cake and speeches cos they are taking kids home to bed at 7

OP posts:

compo · 30/07/2007 19:39

I think tht sounds fine

compo · 30/07/2007 19:41

would cutting the cake and speeches be btw 3pm and 5pm?
we did the cake at the evening do as we only had family to wedding and meal after

we too once got invited to ceremony, not the meal and then to the night do.
Was very odd.
Had to go to local pub for several hours (shame!)

MaloryTheExciterTowers · 30/07/2007 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LucyJones · 30/07/2007 19:44

people always moan on here about kids not being invited
they say it's a family thing and should be for families

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:46

but i WANT my own kids there!!
i just want them to bugger off home at 7pm so the grown ups can get drunk

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 19:46

Message withdrawn

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 19:48

my mum is taking them home, they are not the kind of kids who will be looked after by someone they don't know very well, and my mum is 60 and not into cheesy discos anyway. so she's taking them home to our house for the night and we are stopping in the hotel

OP posts:

Heathcliffscathy · 30/07/2007 19:53

think evening do fine, we didn't have one, but have been invited to a few and never taken it as second class citizen, but rather not mega mega close, just friends (one was a work colleague of dh's and another a family friend of my parents).

you don't need to do buffet, but a table with a few fresh baguettes and some lovely whole cheeses and some proscuitto etc will go down a treat and prevent puking (people will be tucking into this later from the day guestlist I guarantee).

I would definitely not expect children to be invited to the evening do.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 19:54

Message withdrawn

IcingOnTheCake · 30/07/2007 20:03

I'm getting married next year and am still in the ideas phase. I want to get married around 1 ish with just family, then have a meal with the family which will be nice and we won't have to rush. Then everyone can have a break, freshen up etc then have the evening reception with everyone with a buffet.

I figure our dinner would have gone down by then because we will be eating mid-afternoon and the buffet won't be till 8pm earliest.

I will have children there because i have a child, i would have been different if i didn't have dd. The cheesy disco is a no no for me. No one ever enjoys those except old ladies and children.

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 20:04

cheers cod, i couldn't be a ponce even if i tried

honeymoon suite is included in the price of the hire of hotel so i am not gonna turn my nose up at a wedding night sans kids!

OP posts:

Original poster

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 20:05

icingonthecake - what are you doing for entertainment instead of a disco in the evening? we looked into hiring a band but way to expensive for us, so cheesy disco here we come!

OP posts:

littlelapin · 30/07/2007 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Genidef · 30/07/2007 23:27

a- depends. if there are guests travelling a ways to come it would be kind to help out with suggestions for babysitters in the area if you don't want the kids to come to the events.

b - NO. NO. Please don't do this.

c - yes. but enough booze is more important

REliase thread might have moved on but I have to get this off my chest. Please don't have a separate evening do. If you must have two events, have them at a separate time, don't try to combine them in one evening, have a celebration type party another time. or just do the later wedding.

My future policy is to bin invites to evening dos only.

cat64 · 30/07/2007 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 31/07/2007 01:23

a no
b yes
c yes

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