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Original poster

wedding ettique help me please!!!

150 replies

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 17:36

ok if you were just invited to an evening reception (cheesy disco type thing) after the wedding would you....

a. expect your kids to be invited (there are kids at the main wedding but not sure what to do about evening only guests)?

b. expect to have to pay for drinks?

c. expect there to be a buffet?

please help, i'm not sure what people expect from an evening do, the people who have attended the wedding ceremony will have had 3 course meal at half 6 so imagining they won't want a buffet at 8, but not sure if people only invited to the evening do will be expecting food? and is it acceptable to have a pay bar? i don't want to offend people!!!

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 17:58

there are 10 kids coming to ceremony and meal tho so they will all need to be fed!! also people will be travelling a fair way, and for those with young kids i think it's a bit unreasonable to not get married til 5 and expect them to stick around till speeches, cake etc are done, which would be way past kids bedtime.

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Jackaroo · 30/07/2007 17:58

How far into the arrangements? If it's too late to change it, then
a - no
b - eventually (not first drink/toast)
c - too right

if it's still all at the hypothetical stage, then please change it to a buffetty thing for all .... I always turn down evening invites because I hate them so much - (I think Cod has said something along these lines...).. but maybe if everyone knows how huge your family is then they wouldn't feel 2nd class? Whatever, enjoy it!! (but don't have two different celebrations

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 17:59

there are 30 adults and 10 kids so the kids are a big part of the day, don't want them to be pushed to the side in anyway, want them to be involved

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FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 17:59

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MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:01

5pm - ceremony
5.30pm - cut cake and serve with champagne
6pm - feed kids during speeches
7pm - evening guests arrive, buffet, music
8pm - granny takes tinies home
9pm - DJ fires up

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:03

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:03

but surely someone would have to supervise the kids meal cod! wouldn't be much fun for the parents!! (when i say kids i mean aged between 18months and 5) and what do they do with their kids when it's time for speeches etc at 8/9pm?

god this wedding organisation thing is a nightmare.......

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GreatGooglyMoogly · 30/07/2007 18:03

a. No
b. Yes
c. Yes

We were lucky and could afford/ had space to invite everyone we wanted to so we had a 3pm wedding, nibbles and drink while we had photos taken, pay bar, early dinner including unlimited wine/ oj/ bottled water and then ceilidh, coffee and cake in the evening. By not inviting new people in the evening we avoided having to have an evening buffet, but if you invite new people I think you would have to have some finger food at least.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:04

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:05

mrs badger... that is a good plan, just worried about people who need to take their kids home to bed at 7.30pm, they will not get fed at all, and will only be there for a couple of hours...

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MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:05

why wait till 9pm for the speeches?!

esp if not having sit-down meal

get 'em out the way as soon as poss and let your poor DH have a drink

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:05

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MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:06

the 7.30pm leavers will get cake, champagne and canapes

they could all meet beforehand for lunch anyway while you are having your hair done, if you like

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:06

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:07

ah but cod everyone who is coming (apart from the grandparents of course!) have got young children so they would all end up supervising the kids and no-one would be able to enjoy the champagne and canopes! lol!

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FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:07

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LIZS · 30/07/2007 18:08

Surely on one of each set of parents is your rellie so between the spouses they could supervise 10 kids , even if on a table in same room ? Speeches while they eat (they 're more likely to be quiet then !). If your that worried canvass the various parents as to how they'd prefer their kids to be catered for (give limited options).

MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:09

in taht case get married at noon
have huge kiddy lunch at 1pm with balloons and squeakers and jelly and stuff
send all kids home

go for a nice lie down

have grown-up evening party and supper buffet with your mates

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:09

cod - i would if i had the money!

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MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:09

cheaper to emply a nanny / entertainer type for a couple of hours than to feed everyone twice...

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:11

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FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:12

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MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:13

ask the nicest girl at nursery
tell her she can stay for the party

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:15

neither of my kids go to nursey mrs badger! doh! and when i looked into it, they had to be ofsted registered and all sorts of malarky, quotes coming in at several hundred pounds....

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:16

god i'm tempted to run off to gretna green at the weekend just to avoid all this hassle

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