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Original poster

wedding ettique help me please!!!

150 replies

ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 17:36

ok if you were just invited to an evening reception (cheesy disco type thing) after the wedding would you....

a. expect your kids to be invited (there are kids at the main wedding but not sure what to do about evening only guests)?

b. expect to have to pay for drinks?

c. expect there to be a buffet?

please help, i'm not sure what people expect from an evening do, the people who have attended the wedding ceremony will have had 3 course meal at half 6 so imagining they won't want a buffet at 8, but not sure if people only invited to the evening do will be expecting food? and is it acceptable to have a pay bar? i don't want to offend people!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:17

i wish!

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:17

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:24

so is the general consesus that it would be better to have...

40 guests to ceremony and champagne reception at say 2pm
and then everyone to buffet at 4 with all their kids etc, disco at 7 people can stay if they want or if not go home.

rather than...

40 guests to ceremony (2pm) and sit down meal (4pm-6.30)
then 70 to evening do/cheesy disco/buffet

just concerned that if we do the first option then people won't be able to get babysitters as it starts at 4/5pm, so they won't be able to stay for the drunken evening revalry!!!!

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:25

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:26

what do you suggest then cod...

OP posts:
littlelapin · 30/07/2007 18:28

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FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:30

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:31

yes it's a real wedding
so all you evening do haters what do you do instead during the evening then????

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:31

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:32

ah cod, wedding ceremony and reception are booked for the same day at a hotel tho.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:33

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littlelapin · 30/07/2007 18:33

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Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:33

if the ceremony room was big enough i would invite everyone to the ceremony and then have a buffet/party afterwards, but i can't do anything about the fact that the room only holds 40 people

OP posts:
littlelapin · 30/07/2007 18:34

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MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:34

if I'm only invited to the evening I often have a prior engagement, but recently I've been bowing out of all-dayers gracefully once the music is to loud to talk over because I Am Heavily Pregnant You Know.
Have also volunteered to drive mates with tinies back to hotel and left both DHs to get a taxi later.

I like the milling-with-drinks bit best

littlelapin · 30/07/2007 18:36

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FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:37

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collision · 30/07/2007 18:41

We got wed at 3pm and ate at 5pm.

kids were invited but organised an entertainer and had a bouncy castle so they would be entertained.

Our caterers organised mini food boxes for the kids and the entertainer did his thing during the speeches.

Bacon sandwiches at 11pm

As Gordon Ramsay would say

'DONE!!'

Evening dos are crap as you feel like you are not a real friend as you were not worthy enough to go to the whole thing.

Cancel the evening do. spend the money on a holiday and have a big party when you get home!

MrsMar · 30/07/2007 18:42

oh ginny, you've opened a can of worms here. Weddings are such wierd things, they bring out the best and the worst in people. I had an evening do foisted on me cos several people couldn't make the reception but asked if they could come along in the evening. TBH I wasn't that bothered, one less expensive meal to cater, but we did have a buffet. Most of it didn't get touched and it broke my heart to see all that food wasted. If I hadn't been going on honeymoon the next day I'd have taken doggy bags! I'd save your money. As for pay bar, we provided wine and beer and those that wanted anything else had to pay. No one did! Wine and beer enough for them (or maybe they were just tight!) However, whenever I go to a wedding I never EXPECT free drinks, it's just a nice surprise if they are. If you're having to cut costs elsewhere to make way for a free bar, I'd ditch the free bar.

As for evening dos per se... I'm not keen I must say, I think I've only ever been invited to a couple and you do kind of feel second class, but I'm not offended as such. But then I'm not everyone....

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:43

it is soooo tough i don't know what's better now...

40 peeps to ceremony and champagne, then everyone invited to 5pm buffet and disco later

or..

40 peeps to wedding and sit down meal, then everyone else to evening do at 8...

weddings...grrrr...

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 30/07/2007 18:44

gretna green! gretna green!

Original poster
ginnypotter · 30/07/2007 18:44

collision, that would be perfect but i can only fit 40 guests into the ceremony room, and there are about 100 people i want to come....

OP posts:
collision · 30/07/2007 18:45

40 people to canapes and champagne and sit down meal finishing at 7pm.

Honeymoon.

Big party when you get back so you will still get lots of presents!!

Trust me that it will be a lot lot cheaper and people really wont mind.

collision · 30/07/2007 18:46

then 40 people it should be.

video the ceremony and make it part of the party when you get back on a big screen TV.

Trust me.

FluffyMummy123 · 30/07/2007 18:47

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