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Original poster

Lowri Turner talks about mixed Indian/White babies (well, hers actually) in todays Guardian, what do you all think?

253 replies

WideWebWitch · 07/07/2007 10:43

Full article here

She says things like

But we dont live in an ideal world and the way we all look matters. My daughters appearance is an issue to others as well as myself. A (white) friend visited yesterday and having examined the baby, she announced: Shes getting quite dark, isnt she? And I am ashamed to admit that in a reversal of what happens on holiday when you study your skin in the mirror every day hoping for a deepening tan, I too now find myself examining my daughter for signs that her skin is becoming a deeper shade of brown and being perturbed if I find them.

I am at this. My ds is half Indian.

And:

While I genuinely dont think that my not being Indian was a factor that counted against me with my husband or his family, I did underestimate the difference between our cultural backgrounds when we were first together. Our daughter will have to cope with being the product of two very different cultures. She will have to negotiate her own cultural identity, and I know too little to really help her.

I am intending to leave the Indian side of my daughters upbringing to my in-laws. This may seem a cop out, but, frankly, Im too knackered to do otherwise. If I had adopted her, social services would probably whip her away. However, working and bringing up three children, I havent the energy to learn Hindi or make my own lassi

BTW Ive taken apostrophes and quotation marks out as they come out strangely in preview but you get the gist.

OP posts:
Anchovy · 09/07/2007 15:16

Snap, Snowleopard!

policywonk · 09/07/2007 15:19

Quote: 'Do I want to talk about it? Not really.'

Proceeds to talk about it in great detail.

SHUT UP WOMAN

batters · 09/07/2007 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaddyJ · 09/07/2007 15:38

Well, we can never be sure!

Any guy can leave his partner weeks after she has given birth and provide lots of 'good' reasons why the relationship is over

  • she's all emotional / she does not understand me / she does not fulfill my needs / bla bla bla.

Who to believe, even if we know details?

If you have impregnated a woman
you should have the courtesy to stick around afterwards.
Regardless of circumstances.
Certainly for longer than 3 months.

pinkmagic1 · 09/07/2007 15:42

What an utter load of bulls**t!
What was the bit about making a statement by being with someone who is a different colour to you? I fell in love with my DH pure and simple, nothing at all to do with makeing any kind of statement and I don't don't care what colour my kids are, they are my kids and thats that!

batters · 09/07/2007 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaddyJ · 09/07/2007 15:46

batters, I would go one step further:

her daughter might well go through a (long) phase
of rejecting her Indian heritage because of her
father's conduct.

No, we will never know for certain what happened
between them but as far as LT's daughter is concerned
her dad has abandoned her.

DaddyJ · 09/07/2007 15:49

We are speculating here
but she talks about feeling humiliated
and being sad for her kids.
You would not feel humiliated
if you had asked someone to leave or would you?

aloha · 09/07/2007 15:56

GHe SO looks Indian! And his name is Nicol Batra. What is she on?

I could make money writing about my child's disability. I choose not to. I respect his privacy. I think, would I want him to read this as a grown up. I've been ten weeks post-partum twice, but haven't felt the need to discuss my children's 'shortcomings' in the national press.
Horrible.

MyEye · 09/07/2007 15:57

Erm, yes, I can quite imagine feeling humiliated and sad if for whatever reason a 2nd marriage had ended. Esp if I'd written about it quite a bit in the Western Mail.

LOL at 'we are speculating here'

DaddyJ · 09/07/2007 16:25

It looks like poor Lowri is not too popular
whichever forum you look at

I had never heard of her till today;
she would be fun on Mumsnet!

I'd certainly give her the benefit of the doubt.

Blu · 09/07/2007 16:53

Blimey! What a horrible forum! All hot and botherd because she has (indeed - there was a MN thread about it) made lots of dodgy assertions about gay men...but then full of nasty mysoginist put-downs!

codJane · 09/07/2007 17:11

lol no one on the dailty mail msg board?

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 09/07/2007 18:37

Loveangel, re "I think she was reacting in the way many (not all, but many) white parents of mixed children (particularly liberal middle class whites) react when they realise for the first time that it is no longer good enough to 'have black friends', to claim to be 'colour blind', to talk about racism in terms of something that happens to othe people"

Gosh, I certainly don't/didn't think any of that (I know you said not all but anyway).

She really must be spectacularly dim not to have noticed he was Indian.

OP posts:
ruty · 09/07/2007 18:41

horrible website and awful comments.

mosschops30 · 09/07/2007 18:54

God I despise Lowri Turner anyway, she is such a stupid woman, how on earth she got where she is is beyond me.

Sorry cant comment cos shes so bloody ignorant and ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME

Kewcumber · 09/07/2007 19:37

although I have been one of the pro's, having seen his photo I must admit she would need to be quite dim not to realise he was indian, either fromhis looks or his name

On the other hand she is Welsh so am predisposed to be kind to her.

LoveAngel · 09/07/2007 19:56

I found that comment (not knowing her partner was Indian) a bit puzzling too, I must say...

fridayschild · 09/07/2007 20:01

Private Eye loathe Lowri Turner with an intensity quite out of proportion to her z-list status; I read the Guardian and I'm now all excited about the Private Eye savaging which is to come...

For what it's worth, Private Eye feel that Lowri's ex-DH1 is a stay-at-home-dad while she swans around on telly, failing to mention she doesn't have custody when she remembers to mention she has children. This adds a little something to Lowri's comment that her in-laws can add the cultural context to DD's life - it is possible that the babe will not spend all that much time with her mum

DaddyJ · 09/07/2007 20:20

I have had quite a crash course in LT today

Might have to buy Hislop's rag this week
to round off my education!

MarsLady · 09/07/2007 20:26

Haven't read the thread... just the OP.

I think LT (who I've never been a fan of) is not only being naive but incredibly lazy. It doesn't take much to educate onself and I am working and have 5 children and still have time to produce bogstandard ldc, chocolate cake etc and produce Jamaican and/or English meals.

In short... I'm appalled by her attitude!

MarsLady · 09/07/2007 20:33

I think I'll step away from this before my blood boils. Not because of anything that anyone has posted but because of what I'm beginning to feel compelled to post.

Part of the grief I am going through with my daughter is the loss of the possibility that she will look like me.[Why would she not look like her mother? They can share features even if the colouring is different.... stupid ignorant woman] Both mothers and fathers, not to mention grandmothers and grandfathers, routinely bend over the crib, examining a newborn's face for some sign of their own genetic heritage. People say my daughter has my eyes or my mouth, but I know they are just trying to be kind. [Perhaps these people have working brain cells] She looks as similar to me as I do to Naomi Campbell [crock of shite answer]. I didn't expect this to matter to me, but it does [which speaks volumes about LT]. I look at my baby and wonder if people will look at her and assume I am not her mother? [again... preoccupation with what others thinks and not about getting on with the job at hand. Loving, cherishing and raising her daughter]

Back away Mars.......... back away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mercy · 09/07/2007 20:34

Well said Marslady.

TaylorsMummy · 09/07/2007 20:41

that pissed me off too,her saying her dd can't look like her cos she's a different colour my dd's dad is jamaican and she still looks like me!! and people are 'just trying to be kind' when they say she looks like her? not to the baby they're not!! who would wanna look like her? lol

pacinofan · 09/07/2007 20:43

Have read the article, and as a wife in a so-called 'mixed race' marriage (I never use this term without cringing) and a mother of 2 children with dark(ish) skin, I think she is talking utter rubbish - but then, this is Lowri Turner, right?

The part I really objected to is "Anyone who dates someone of a different colour and claims that their hue is immaterial is lying, either to themselves or to everyone else." Call me a liar then, 'cos I really didn't give my husband's skin colour a second thought when we met, just had the hots for him and that was that.

Utter twaddle!