SAHMs...would you encourage your daughters to SAHM or WOHM ?

[mozhe]

I ask out of genuine interest....people have often said to me that I became a committed WOHM because I had such a strong model in my own mother....and I would certainly be very disappointed if one of my own daughters chose to be a SAHM.
SAHMs what do you think ? And why ?

id nto care

Why would you be disppointed?

why so many SAHM/WOHM threads atm i wonder

whoc ares
why do YOU care so much

Apart from a short career break following my last mat leave, I've not been a SAHM, and I don't have daughters, so I'm not sure I should answer this, but I would encourage any daughter of mine to do what she and her DH thought was appropriate and suitable for THEM.

I don't have daughters, but if I did I would want them to do whatever suited them and their families best.
I want my children to live their own lives, not a replay of mine.

why would you be disappointed

if she was happy, and made her choice, why should that disappoint you

as long as my daughter, and my son, both chose paths they were happy and content with, and were good people, good parents, good friends

what is to be disappointed about?

horses for courses...

I have been a WOHM, and am now a SAHM , getting started as a doula..have never been happier! if my children achieve a work life balance, that makes them happy, be it working 100 hours a week, or being at home , good for them

if i have given them the tools to make good choices, and live happily, great!

i hope i never have to use the word disappointed in relation to how my children live

I was previously a SAHM, now a WOHM but I don't have daughters. However, my ds2 did say that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be a doctor or a stay-at-home-dad and I told him either would be fine, whatever made him happy!

One of the reasons I am such a dogged WOHM/WAHM is that my mother was patently frustrated and unhappy as a SAHM.

I would hope she would do what she needed to make herself and her children happy and secure

Yes of course we'd ALL ' let them do what they thought was best '...but what would you feel..
I'd feel disappointed because I honestly think it is best for women, children and society if most people work...and that includes mothers.
Tutter..I think it is an interesting area to discuss...it also seems to evoke very strong feelings and opinions.Maybe that is why people join in..
Cod...Yes I do care,I think it is important..to actively promote a lifestyle I think is a good one.

Neither - I'd talk through her thoughts, feelings and observations and help her draw her own conclusions - either way

What would I feel - genuinely I would feel equally as happy if she decided to be a SAHM or WOHM....why is that so hard to comprehend?

I would be very happy if my dd had managed to secure the standard of living thatenabled her to have the choice to be a SAHM.

What ever makes her and her family happy.

My mum was a SAHM and I remember feeling very guilty that she stopped work (she was a shop manager) when she had us. She could have had a successful career but gave it up to be at home with us. However, I think she probably would have chosen that anyway as she loved being a SAHM.
As a result I have continued to work but after initially working full time after having DD I am now part time, as DH job means he was unable to help with childcare drop offs etc..

does looking after small children and running a home, not count as work?

Well personally I would hope the children would be looked after by someone who loved them for the vast majority of the time while they were little

this would be a parent or other relative for instance

perhaps me

But I really wouldn't give a monkeys whether she was a SAHM or WOHM as I believe strongly that it is a very individual choice based on an individual's situation and character.

I would feel disappointed if she became a SAHM whilst wanting to work because of childcare issues. And I would feel disappointed if she was in the situation where she had to work but wanted to stay at home.

It's the luxury of having a choice I would like her to have.

At the end of the day, education, work/life balance etc etc etc aside, surely the most important thing you want for your children is for them to be happy, or the rest is immaterial.

I know it's what I want for mine, whichever path they choose in life.

Theoretically, I would not be disappointed if a child of mine decided to become a SAHM. There are things I may be disappointed with (again theoretically) but staying at home to nurture her children - nah that's not one of them.

And I would hate her to feel that I have unspoken expectations that she should live up to.

you know if you really want your children to go one route, they will probably go a different one, just to prove their independance.
Lord forbid you should just want them to be happy

I think what will be interesting is if anyone responds to this thread saying they'd actively recommend the opposite course of action to their own.

If I am absolutely honest, I think I would find it difficult to see my daughters relinquishing their earning power for any length of time. There, I've said it. I know that is entirely my baggage and Stuff, but I've never hooked up with a man who wasn't a total financial wastrel so that's part of it.

Yes, that's it - the luxury of choice.

Very apt.