I saw a woman in the Science Museum today, who really could only be described as having "let herself go"

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Grey streaky "hanging" hair, huge arse and fat tum in grey tracky bottoms, footglove shoes, shapeless burgundy tunic top and hanging tits. She really looked like she had given up on life. In contrast, she had three dear little, divinely trendily dressed girls with her. She had obviously put a lot of thought and effort into what they were going to wear (down to the very funky hat one of them was wearing) but hadn't even spent five minutes on herself.

Why?

I'm supposed to have a reasonable sense of humour, I'm told.

Xenia - if you find out what that is can I borrow it from time to time?

I am sure Xenia is very silly (sometimes), speaking for myself I need at 2 strong filter coffees in the morning before I can speak to anyone in any manner! It is still early, only one cup so far.

i nominate the deckcrocs the new mn bat.

I was born fairly serious, studious conscientious sweet little girl who never did anything wrong kind of thing, graduated with a prizes, a teetotal virgin... laughing as I type. Would rather talk about pension policy in bed etc..... People differ in their interests. Some women though are far too silly and frivolous in a way men aren't and that's because of the way they're conditioned. They are concerned about home and clothes and not interested in the wider world which is a shame. It is they who should change for the good of the world.

Xenia due to our feminine multi tasking skills it is possible to dye our hair and work with tramps you know.

Littlelap, what a fantastic link.

Good lord! what is wrong with being concerned about the home and appearance? We aren't all made the same, allow us some frivolity! Our mothers fought for women's lib, our grandmothers worked through the war, our great-grandmothers looked after our grandfathers and the home. We owe them our freedom of choice.

We couldn't have our life with my DPs job and our 4 children if I didn't run the home. I'm not like you, but the way I live my life is just as important.

In your opinion some women are silly in a way men aren't. And men are arseholes in a way women aren't. Everyone is different, leave them to make their choices. We should be supporting and empowering each other to make informed choices on how we live our lives.

Live and let live.

Here we go again!

Some people are more interested in their home and children because that to them is their world.

So what? There's worse in the world out there, after all, that someone who is most concerned with their home.

Pensions as pillow talk.

Yes, that would send me straight to sleep.

what a long thread.

Judging someone by their appearance is a terrible thing to do. Whenever I see someone who is very smartly groomed and has a wonderfully tidy house but has several children I think - poor children, I bet they never get any messy play. Also poor woman that she values herself for how she looks and not what she does.

But actually it wasn't me either. I know I have to conform to ridiculous stereotypes to some extent if I want my children to be invited to other people's homes. I'm happy to have a limited number of friends who I value for their inner qualities but they should have the choice of a different way of life.

I think making nice, warm, loving, comfy and cared for homes is key to the emotional health and well being of the country Xenia. Perhaps you don't see this. Perhaps you're not the home making type - which is fair enough, but you're wrong to belittle those who are. It's a vital and very challenging role.

One last thing before I do bow out of this thread ... it wasn't me.

My tits are great, and my arse isn't so bad either

Ok OK have kept zipped up till now , but I just have to say Xenia (I don't know what compels me to reply to u on random threads) , but it is a great generalisation to just narrow down a women AT HOME and wanting to look a certain way , as having no other outside interest in life. See again its just another judgment really. Mothers at home ARE making a difference to the world , were bringing up the next generation. Just by looking at someone or there surface circumstances does not mean you know what they are about.

Why must one choose between:-

Looking good yourself and your children looking good?

Looking good and caring about the big issues?

Quite so Melsy. It's a truly noble and valid choice. It's also a really tough option and the women who do it are not shown a fraction of the respect and recognition they deserve.

argghhh spelling mistakes sorry

But Xenia seems to have only two things to harp on about: how awful it is that some women choose to stay at home, and how much better private schools are.

Now THAT'S having narrow interests!

He: Mmmm. That was fab, love. I love making love with you.

Snuggle.

She: Do you think Brown is responsible for the present pension crisis?

He: You okay, darling? Mmmm. I'm sooooo tired (whilst mentally taking notes as to how close he is to the door).

exaclty earthymama, thats it isnt , we should be able to make ANY choice really , after all there are 1000's of them. I may work I may not , I will do whats right for the family , for me , for the all of us one way or the other.

True true Spidermama, everyone should read "what mothers do" that explains it all very nicely.

I suppose if one feels good in what they do free from guilt, expectation, need, etc then one doesnt need to make their truth someone elses truth , they can just be. So my question to you Xenia is ; why do you feel the need to have such dogma in your view?

Just ignore her. She drives me mad and I am not even convinced she is a woman.

Personally, I think X is a man!

Ok, quick summary

Judgement v non judgmental

Crocs v footgloves v Birkies

Sense of humour v Xenia yet again trumping at turning thread into anyone withouth career = having no life.

Sorted.