Gin and a moat

[paxillin]

Not by one of the Queens this time... But we can drink here.

OW! What was that for? I thought it was a joke. Oh ffs now that little dragon is copying you, BENSON STOP THROWING THAT! Oh yes, I've named them. That one over there is Hedges, then Virginia, Amber, Holborn... err, where are the others?

Dunhill, Lambert and Butler are playing in the moat. One of the freeze dragons ought to solidify it, it is unhygienic. Not great for children to play in, even dragon ones.

Right I've wrestled them back in. How do you bath a dragon? Is soap safe? I'm not sure just hosing them off will do the trick. AND I've just realised we plumbed the castle into the moat... right, which one of these little horrors does ice? If we can get one to ice up the bathtub and one of the firey ones to heat it up this might work...

Duraglit - it brings them up a treat.

Or you can use Silverdip for the Ice Dragons.

If we're going for colour-coding, how about Red = flame, Blue = ice, Yellow = tinkle, Green = boak, and Orange = earwax. Are there any others?

We still have a purple sharpie to use.

Yes - those toothy birds are mine. They started off as kiwis but they got mixed up in the Miscegenation Machine with my grannie's dentures. These things happen - what can I say?

Purple is for those who identify as non-quintary and those who identify as other than function of birth as well as those we have no idea about.

You were supposed to stop those experiments! Fun slime only, no animals!

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!!

Teeth and kiwis get mixed up all the time - ask anyone!

Anyway that slack-fannied trollope Princess has been responsible for more weird creatures than I ever have.

If purple is for creatures we don't know anything about then I'm going to need more sharpies.

Don't forget octarine for magical ones

Who asked you?

No, we only label the dragon hatchlings. Perhaps only the useful ones, fire and ice? Never needed extra urine or vomit in my life.

Surely the magical ones are octarine already or do they camouflage, too?

Don't encourage him.

As to the use of the yellow one - well, once s/he can fly, if there someone you don't like you can literally have them pissed on from a great height.

And please remember the thing about it being wise not to let a dragon know its sex, else if any are boys they'll annihilate each other.

What happens if a vomit one and a fire one breed? Puke flambe?

No one will be dying my dragons! they start school on Monday, do you want to be responsible for home schooling them once they get sent home?!

Dragon school? Heaven help us. Monday 9am, double-fire aiming, 11am spit roast the peasant...

Actually they've got maths and English

Someone seems to have forgotten that the only Mortificadan to have a glittering (albeit excessively rapid) academic career was a dragon (#soproud) - the lapse into brewing was unfortunate.

So yes, of course they'll be learning maths, english, science etc.

(They won't need to be taught how to flame peasants, it come naturally.)

Princess and I were famous at the PRU. Not all of our achievements were of an academic nature of course.

I think the word you wanted there was 'infamous'.

Aw, the good old days

What happens with the dragon brats now? Just wondering. Prok is finished, the moose are old and tough like boots, the dragonlings are chicken sized

Depends how lucky you're feeling, I guess.

You're not related, are you?

No, I was away on holiday my important fact finding mission when they turned up. Nowt to do with me - but that doesn't mean I'm cool with you snacking on them (and do you really want a dragon not being cool with you, hmm? )

Oh, no no, you got me wrong. I was never going to eat the little horrors. I just mused about their size thinking how much food they'd need and as carnivores it will be difficult. Especially since we're out of prok and the moose are too tough for babies to eat.