Gin and a moat

[paxillin]

Not by one of the Queens this time... But we can drink here.

we have a settee? Think I've gotten a bit too comfortable under here...

Looks like it is the mother of all settees, too. The behemoth fits underneath. Now he's gone we can slouch with whatever that stuff is Schadenfreude has brewed.

I'm not quite sure what it is - only that it's alcoholic and packs quite a kick. (The kids were throwing allsorts of stuff into the vat - my verruca cream has disappeared and I think that that's what gives it the added "oomph")

It is one of those round-the-corner settees, Queen - the behemoth was wearing it as a hat, but thought he was quite safe beneath it..

He wee'd himself with fright several times when they were chasing him, but at least the moat is full now, if a bit smelly.

More incontinent pets? We really should have a rule about that. When you said round-the-corner settee I didn't think you meant it would run round the corner if you try and sit on it. What is the point of a sofa that's terrified of people?

I quite like a walking sofa. Remain seated and enjoy the ever changing scenery. We have to fit drink holders though. Perhaps we should drink the brew from sippy cups in case the ride gets rocky.

Well the problem is I can't actually get onto it, it just runs and hides How'd you manage?

I told him the beasts running after him are my offspring and that they will do anything to avoid me in the holidays outside of feeding time, lest I try to wash them or suggest bedtime or fresh socks every week.

Just tell him your brood is equally feral and you'll be protectress. Schadenfreude gave him her brew for a leg up.

Hmm. I don't have a brood, I'll have to get one. Maybe a brood of dragons, we need more dragons around here. Cute little ones.

Perhaps you can climb up on Schadenfreude's luscious locks, like the prince did on Rapunzel's back in the day. Schadenfreude, Schadenfreude, let down your hair, so that the Queen may climb thy golden stair.

Lock, you mean. Just the one. Not that it makes it any less impressive, a glorious lock it is too. Bit unfair to compare to rapunzel though. I'm sure she wore a wig, schadenfreude's is home grown. With what evil magic remains to be seen. I have asked but she's a bit cagey since the stationery cupboard incident.

Watching House of Commons live from the discomfort of the rocking corner settee. 'Tis riveting.

I must probe her about "just the one lock".

Is that the one with all the peasants in the house with the cameras and they're just doing normal house stuff?

They are debating Mortexit.

Live at midnight.

Mortexit? What are we exiting? We're not leaving mumsnetia are we? Where will we keep the castle? And the moat?! And won't somebody think of the dragon children!

Othertopicado. We'll make deals with AIBUado next. The peasants are revolting. They shout at each other and when one of their friends speaks they shout "beer beer".

Oh well that makes sense. I think, I have no idea. The wife does all the politics. I should probably let her know we have children now.

Peasants are back to petitioning on Warwick Road Carlisle and schools in North Northumberland. At 1am. Let those little dragons loose. Is one of them an ice dragon by any chance?

I hope so, I did request one but they said they can't always tell this young. Their dragon breath takes a while to come in you see and they have to be adopted early otherwise there's temper tantrums and all sorts... Well you've seen the dragons round here. I'll have a look and see if any are looking frosty. ... I really don't know how you check this.

Kick them hard and see if they burn or snap freeze you.

That you, Queenie? Schadenfreude, we need a fire dragon to melt her, she's found an ice dragon baby! Crap, I bet she didn't get to label it before, well, the freeze. Why do they all look the same? Surely we can transfect blue or red skin colour at the same time when we insert fire or ice breathing capacity?

Firstly - I have a thread problem and that is why my hair, though long, is so sparse and also why I am so fat and I think it's workplace bullying of you to harp on it - I'm just warning you, I'll take this further.

Blue and Red colourings for the dragons is a no-no since the legislation regarding thermal-stereotyping came in (don't blame me - I voted for Desmond Fishman).

However if you spit at one, it will either turn your phlegm to steam, or freeze it into an ice-cube (HEALTH WARNING - DON'T PUT THIS IN YOUR DRINK).

Where did you find the dragons? The is often a clue.

Queen found them. She is currently a 6ft ice block (assuming this is her?) and can't enlighten us, so one of the blighters is indeed an ice dragon.

I never mentioned your girth, only your lock. But no-colour coding is political correctness gone mad. Taps are coded and I don't hear any protests. The spit is a great idea. We could also suirt the "ink". Either get an ice cube adding some fun to your drink or a firework!

Nah that's not me. I just went out for a bit as the dragons kept climbing me. Someone needs to trim those claws. no idea who that is but at least the little uns are pulling their weight.

I was told they are different colours but being so young and the new pastel range it might take a while for their new hues to show. It is unfortunate that won't tell us much about them, if that colour coding legislation is correct, but at least we might be able to tell them apart. I was looking forward to finding out what that pale lemon one did too.