Gin and a moat

[paxillin]

Not by one of the Queens this time... But we can drink here.

Who'll buy an Englishman who mispronounces scone?

That's a good point. Do they do recycling for this sort of thing?

I don't know, do we recycle nowadays? He's a good cook, might keep him.

What's the point of a good cook if they can't make a scone?

Schadenfreude recycles. Though I'm pretty sure that's just a way of getting more materials for experiments

just saw on the other thread that foof hair is back in fashion. I want neon highlights. Stupid harpies.

Oh, he can. Just speaks funny, clearly. And he buys the booze that feeds my MN habit.

When are the meese coming? I used to have Elk socks for DS when he was a baby, they looked like testicles, but never came off. I'm sure moose socks are just as good.

You can dye the whole do barbie pink if you wish.

Can we dye the moose to match? And I've no idea when they're arriving, did anyone actually order them? Eh I'm sure schadenfreude will pick them up. do you think we should order some furniture at some point?

We can dye anything pink. I want sunglasses though. Furniture would be good.

I want a chaise longue. And a bureau. And a medicine cupboard. A really big one. With medicine. Do we know any pharmacists?

Schadenfreude is training as one, isn't she? I want a hammock.

Oh yes. Where would we put a hammock? There are no trees! I'll order some. Tomorrow 😴

You and Schadenfreude could hold one end each?

/skon/ - short 'O'

Your DH is right Pax despite being foolish enough to align his stars with yours

Scone (/skoan/) is only for the Scottish Stone of Scone (or possibly Scone of Stone ).

However, I am sure many people will disagree with mebut I don't care I know what I know and I yam what I yam.

Schadenfreude recycles

I do indeed - saves a fortune, and the planet, and allows me to potter about in my shed creating all sorts of stuff that people might try to stop me making if they knew what I was up to

just saw on the other thread that foof hair is back in fashion. I want neon highlights. Stupid harpies

Here - take this to the Royal Merkin-Maker and her something artisanally-crafted to cover the royal bits in the name of God do it quickly my eyes are burning

The mere are on order. They will be delivered by helicopter from Harrods which is why I have been up all night clearing a space among the frizzled royal body hair and painting a big circle with a "HUH" on it.

You don't need any training to be a pharmacist, just somedrugs medicine. I have a drug cupboard in my shed, but unfortunately some thing or someone broke in a few nights ago. The MortificadanPoliceConstable said it was definitely drugs they were after as that's all that was taken, so if you see anyone trying to sell a bottle of Night Nurse, some Junior Aspirin or some Rennies on a street corner, ring the station immediately.

I didn't mention this to the officer because it would just complicate matters, but it is just possible that the drugs, and the thief, never actually left the shed.

Tarquin sleeps in there and he is definitely fatter, plus he didn't bother with his breakfast that morning and it was his favourite - Cocopops. There were also some gnawed skeletal remains and a shredded hoodie in his bed.

Don't worry - I've re-cycled them.

*meese, not mere

Bloody autocorrect. I might take it into the shed and experiment on it.

Stop that talk 8mmediatrly (is this y97r doing? my autocorrect seems off) it is scohne, I am the queen that naked it law yes?

I tried the merkin-maker but it's a French place and lots of shouting ensued. French people do that now, do they not like my hair?

Oh Queen of the naked laws

Psst, Schadenfreude, the poison cabinet must be locked at all times. You've no idea what Night Nurse does to a dragon.

Thanks for the warning Pax - I'll hide the Calpol as well. Though if the thief is a dragon would it not have just melted the lock?

There is a Mortificadan Merkin Maker (try saying that with a skinful of Pax's cocktail) on the Street of the Unusual Artisans in the Orange Light District of Mortificado. The end near the Alp.

I get my oxter wigs there for when I go on holidays to the Mediterranean beaches of Totificado. I know that the Totificadians are our traditional historical enemies, due to them wanting the Balklands Islands back (which of course we won't give them because we know they will eat the unique Balklands Penguins that live there), but they like a fat hairy lass voluptuous, fully-furred woman there, and I like to make the best of my week off.

Just dye the foof and armpit topiaries in their national colours, Schadenfreude. Little nod to local customs and all that. Always works for Kate Middleclass, she wears green when visiting the Irish and red for the Canadians.

Puce and magenta hairy bits it is, then!

Have you stopped experimenting on autocorrect yet? I have a reputation to uphold. And shouldn't the moose have arrived by now? We'll need time to dye them and such unless you've had the forethought to comission that aleady.

For now. The autocorrect is beyond redemption, I think.

The meeses are here. They were frolicking in the moat the last time I saw them. I gave them some Toblerone and Tarquin took them out for a game of . . . something.

They may already be died dyed. I'm not sure.

What colour are they usually?