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Original poster

Can anyone help me get over this?

171 replies

Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:27

There is one thing i want to be able to do more than anything but i am stopping myself doing it.
I would love to be able to drive.
The world and his wife and do it so why the hell do i have this unrational fear of taking the plunge and booking lessons?
I had lessons a long time ago when i was 17 and had a horrible and impatient instructor ,she would tut and sigh and screech at me so i did the only thing i could and changed instructors and the new one was great but i gave up as i wasn't progressing as i had no confidence in myself(instructor agreed with me).About 2 years ago my parent's started taking me out in their car and i did quite well but then i just stopped and never picked it up or followed it on with lessons.
So fast forward 14 years and i still am a non driver.

It makes me feel so so embarrassed,it limits my career and my social life so why oh why am such a wimp?
I know that noone else can do it for me but i really do have a .......what i can only decribe as a head f* over this
I know that part of problem is that if i am being watched when im doing something then i just mess it up.
HELP

OP posts:
Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:28

I shall no go and hang my head in shame.

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 12/03/2007 13:31

Have the same problem, but has been going on with me for longer (20 years!) and for much the same reason. I have just decided to book myself in for a week long intensive course with test at end to ensure that I do not find yet another excuse. I think there are more of us out there than you realise.

I am using my MIL as inspiration - she is truly the sorst driver you can imagine and if she can do it, anyone can!

malaleche · 12/03/2007 13:31

Are you me?
i learnt to drive when i was 18, failed the test twice and went off round the world. 20 years later i still can't drive, neither can dp and so we never go anywhere. I decided to learn this year but its complicated becuase

  1. i dont want to own a car
  2. i'd rather learn in the uk as i dont want to drive in Spain anyway, too scared, but never spend enough time in the uk to practise enough
  3. ive got a 6 mo baby and dont want to take her along to the lessons, and have no-one to look after her
blalabla excuses excuses excuses What shall we do Pelvic???
fryalot · 12/03/2007 13:31

you've got to the stage where you're frightened to try.

Driving is one of those things that is really complicated at first, but when you've got the hang of it, you can't remember what was so difficult.

If you want to do it, you can. Book an instructor, don't worry, he will have seen it all before, and don't tell anyone you know what you're doing.

Do it now, while you've got some motivation.

Keep us all posted.

SturdyAngel · 12/03/2007 13:32

You need to take the plunge! Be brave phone up RIGHT NOW and book a block of lessons! Explain you are nervous and ask for a lovely patient instructor. Book a block and pay for them if you can- then you won't back out or just go for one and give up.

DO IT NOW!!

OrmIrian · 12/03/2007 13:34

Just do it it pelvic!! I didn't pass my test until I was 25 - 12 years after I first took it. I failed 4 times in those years. In the end I went to the GP and told her that I couldn't get a new job without being able to drive, I got so stressed when I did take my test that i made loads of mistakes and could she help me. She gave me betablockers and I finally passed. It made a big difference to my life. Even if you don't buy a car just being able to drive if you need to makes such a difference.

Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:34

Yes i think i am you malaleche
I didn't think there would be others like me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:35

,.......but i cant

scared.

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southeastastra · 12/03/2007 13:35

sounds like me too, i took lessons at 17 and failed 3 times so gave up. then moved here and needed to drive, so booked lessons with a lady instructor, had a laugh whilst learning, then passed! haven't looked back. you can do it! find a woman instructor and you'll have fun learning too. go on

hunkerkerplunker · 12/03/2007 13:35

Do it do it do it!

harpsichordcarrier · 12/03/2007 13:36

I delayed learning to drive for lots of reasons until I was about 25 and only then because I was forced to do it because I had a new job. It was hard, I won't lie, but it was SO worth it and I am so glad - being able to drive has made a tremendous difference to my life.
how about booking a week long course?

lou33 · 12/03/2007 13:37

i only passed my test last august when i was 39!

i remember my first lesson, i was really nervous, but came out of it feeling great

if you just want to get on the road and not bother with gears you could always learn to drive in an automatic

honestly my life has opened up so much now i can go where i like when i like

Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:38

Southeastastra- the 1st evil instructor i had was a woman,although i do think i would prefer a female instructor.

I guess that part of me is worried that i will make myself ill with worry,i have depression and anxiety etc.

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southeastastra · 12/03/2007 13:40

oh i'm just going on the instructor i had who was excellent - i was very nervous too, you can take as long as you like to learn

wurlywurly · 12/03/2007 13:40

pelvic just think about the time you will be able to shove the family in the car for days out without having to rely on anyone else or public transport.

fryalot · 12/03/2007 13:40

Pelvicfloor, Malaleche:

DO IT.

DO IT NOW.

BettySpaghetti · 12/03/2007 13:41

You can do it PFNM - think about the benefits (trips out with/without the children, shopping further afield,weekends away, holidays, MN Meet-ups ) and concentrate on those.

Do you know anyone who has had lessons recently and can recommend a good instructor?

stressteddy · 12/03/2007 13:43

pelvicfloor - go for it! You've had children and I think that's far harder than driving.

Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:45

A collegue of mine passed her test recently but when i asked her what her insructor was like she said "oh ok you know ,she was quite pushy" and then i started to think that i wouldn't get on with her(stupid i know)

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Iklboo · 12/03/2007 13:46

Where do you live (ish)?

southeastastra · 12/03/2007 13:47

pick and choose an instructor, maybe i was luckly to get one that i got on with straight away. she was so laid back but it worked for me. go on call one! think about how much shopping you can bung in the boot

Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:48

Ilkboo- Worcestershire area.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:48

Sorry cant spell your name either Iklboo

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lucy5 · 12/03/2007 13:50

I'm the same and now am in the same position as Malaleche.I'm in Spain and have a 4 month baby.Excuses ,excuses!

Iklboo · 12/03/2007 13:51

OH - DH is an instructor in Manchester area you see - and he is great! (not biased, that's what his pupils say. He's got great word of mouth recommendation).
Look in your local phone book. DON'T always go with who is cheapest. A lot of times these are what's known as Provisional Driving Instructors (PDIs). They have passed Part 2 of their course, but not the Part 3 (most important bit) and so aren't yet fully qualified - it'd be similar to anyone who's passed the Advanced Driving Test taking you out).