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Original poster

Can anyone help me get over this?

171 replies

Beauregard · 12/03/2007 13:27

There is one thing i want to be able to do more than anything but i am stopping myself doing it.
I would love to be able to drive.
The world and his wife and do it so why the hell do i have this unrational fear of taking the plunge and booking lessons?
I had lessons a long time ago when i was 17 and had a horrible and impatient instructor ,she would tut and sigh and screech at me so i did the only thing i could and changed instructors and the new one was great but i gave up as i wasn't progressing as i had no confidence in myself(instructor agreed with me).About 2 years ago my parent's started taking me out in their car and i did quite well but then i just stopped and never picked it up or followed it on with lessons.
So fast forward 14 years and i still am a non driver.

It makes me feel so so embarrassed,it limits my career and my social life so why oh why am such a wimp?
I know that noone else can do it for me but i really do have a .......what i can only decribe as a head f* over this
I know that part of problem is that if i am being watched when im doing something then i just mess it up.
HELP

OP posts:
Original poster
Beauregard · 15/03/2007 20:54

Hi everyone
No Betty im afraid i haven't called anybody yet as im still trying to decide on which ones to call and i need to write down what im going to ask them.

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margo1974 · 15/03/2007 21:02

Hi Pelvicfloornomore

My friend has just passed her test and she was petrified to start with, she's been so brave and has already gone on the motorway after lessons.

I'll be watching this thread and I hope you book your lessons

Take the bull by the horns

Good luck - you'll never take another test that will affect your life so much

Original poster
Beauregard · 15/03/2007 21:26

Thanks Margo

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SlightlyMadScientist · 15/03/2007 21:30

PFNM - Do you know anyone at all that has learnt to drive in the last 3-4 years. Any recommendations you can get are invaluable....

Original poster
Beauregard · 15/03/2007 21:33

Yes there is one girl at work but if i ask her too much then she will know that i'm going to embark on lessons and i don't want anyone to know.

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pirategirl · 16/03/2007 07:52

HI

I just wanted to say, that I have started driving, after a shite load of traumas,(lost a pregnancy, husband left, moved house twice in 6months !), that have knocked my confidence very much, and I promise you that after the initial fear, it does start to feel like you are doing something great for yourself.
I am 38, and I have never had to 'learn' anything since school, and never put myself first, so dont be too hard on yourself, its perfectly natural to have fear, butterflies, feelings that u just cant do it.
My instructor said the main thing, is you have to have determination. This is a trait that I have alot of, but never seem to apply it to myself too often!!

Hope you make the calls soon!

pirategirl · 16/03/2007 07:54

Also,

You might find out some good info form the girl at work.
You could fib and say its someone else who u know, or fib and say you are considering it.

I kept it quiet, but now I just dont tell peole when my lessons are, wellmy good freinds yes.

You never know, by sharing the fact u wnat to learn might open up a good conversattion about it all??

Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 12:15

welldone you Pirategirl.
Im sorry to hear about the traumatic time you've had

Well i was very brave ,lol,and have called a couple of numbers,i just asked the price and whether they 'piggyback' or not and are they good with nervous students?
Unfortunately i only spoke to 1 of the instructor's in person as the spouses took the calls for most of them,so it was difficult to gauge whether i would click with them.I have left my number on the answering machine for another and he will call me back.

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pirategirl · 16/03/2007 12:19

HI, well done, yes i had that, the partners were out driving.

Is there anyone who can recommedn an instructor for you, prob been asked a dozen times.

I won some lessons, and just didnt like the instructor after about half an hour, I cancelled the other 2 lessons, free or not he made me anxious, and I booked with someone else.

Lots of peoplhave chopped and changed on that drvin website, there'[s lots of instuctors on there, and even they say, change till u find one whose sympathetic, after all its your money.

SlightlyMadScientist · 16/03/2007 13:22

PFNM - you are perfectly entitled to ask the spouse to get the instructor to call you back so that you can discuss your needs. I am one of those spouses and I certainly wouldn't mind if you asked for DP to call you back to discuss your needs.

Who did you call in the end - local companies or nationals?

Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 13:25

Hi SMS i just called a few local ones as i felt that they may be better as it is their name they have to protect.

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SlightlyMadScientist · 16/03/2007 18:02

Just wondered - I personally think you have made the right choice. And don't forget you are free to change any time you want if you don't get on with him/her. You don't have a legal contract with them or anything.

There are a couple of the big ones I wouldn't go near with a barge pole but couldn't say outright in case of liable etc...

Blu · 16/03/2007 18:08

PFNM - I was 36 when I passed my test, after a similiar pattern to you.

I agree with the 'provisional' status - don't touch anyone who hasn't got the full qualification. When I learned it was a green badge rather than a red one, I think?

I signed up with the AA and thought they were excellent.

One of the things I hated was the embarrassment of doing things so slowly and jerkily out on the open road (in London traffic and road rage!). Would you consider one of those courses where you start off on a track?

Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 19:58

Blu-It is good to know that i'm not the only one who has ever felt like this.
Driving on a track ,would that be like a crash course? only i don't think there are any near to me and i couldn't stay away from my babies

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Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 21:20

Well the instructor that was calling me back has just calledwhich i didn't expect at 9pm on a friday night!
He seemed a really nice guy laid back and friendly,we chatted for a while and i explained my phobia and he said nervous students are his speciality,lol.So i think i may have found my victim

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Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 21:21

I am hoping to call next week and book a lesson so i shall need a kick up the jacksie off you lot iykwim?

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SlightlyMadScientist · 16/03/2007 21:30

You can expect a kick by Tuesday MISS and no arguing....

Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 21:42

Oh i forgot to say ,he guessed the name of my 1st and nasty instructor and was bang on.
He said that he doesn't teach the theory in the lesson but does provide resources and recommendations on it.Tbh i hadn't considered if this was important or not but im not worried about the learning of that at the moment.

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SlightlyMadScientist · 16/03/2007 21:47

In reality not many actually teach the theory. They usually lend books or CD roms. Its a waste of 20-30 quid to do it in a lesson.

If he was able to guess the name of your first instructor - that REALLY tells you something about the 1st instructor - he obviously gets a lot that have ditched him/her.

Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 21:50

Oh thanks that helps to know that most dont.

Yes he said that he had tutoured quite a few of her ex students and that it was no shame that she was now retired.

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DrMarthaMcMoo · 16/03/2007 21:54

Pfnomore - best of luck. I can't drive either (well, officially I can - I passed my test in 1991) but I only drove a handful of times after that and haven't driven for 16 years now. I think it is a phobia with me - I'm just terrified at the thought of trying it again and so I 'manage' without. But I hate myself for being so pathetic about it - dh walks to work; so the car sits outside most days and in the school holidays I would love to be able to put the kids in the car and take them out somewhere. But I can't So you go for it!

SlightlyMadScientist · 16/03/2007 21:57

There are a couple of instrctors that DP has learnt a few 'unsavoury' things about. There is a running joke amongst him and his friends that they will let 'Mr Crap' do the boring introductary lessons and then they will teach them the 'proper' stuff!!! I think all areas have them. It is amazing some of them stay in business...

You'll be amazed how much theory you will pick up on your lessons as you go about driving on the road...

Anyway I will shut up for a bit and kick you up the arse on Tues if you havn't posted to say you've booked your first lesson .

Original poster
Beauregard · 16/03/2007 22:04

Thanks DrMarthaMcmoo ,you dont fancy joining me then?

Thanks for being there SMS

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pirategirl · 17/03/2007 08:07

Cool!! glad u found a good one to start with, all the signs are there, and that he knew about your old instructor-shows she was an old bag, and it wasnt your imagination!

I bought a cr rom to start learning my theory, and a mate has lent me a couple of books. my instructor has told me to get this booked, and passed asap, which I am trying to get my head round!!!

The dvd was reasonable and if you like, and if I pass you can have it after me.

Original poster
Beauregard · 17/03/2007 10:35

Pirate girl-That is so kind of you ,obviously i will send you something or buy it from you
Are you nervous about doing the theory?

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