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right then...what is a lentil weaver? Your thoughts please

224 replies

Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 16:52

Do you need to fondle crystals

or it is enough to just be obsessive about good nutrition?

is there a particular dress code?

is it inconsistant with a reasonable appreciation of science?

thoughts please

OP posts:
Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 21:19

hang on

THERES NOTHING ON THERE FOR WASHABLE NAPPIES!

ffs

ok

there needs to be...

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 27/01/2007 21:19

so do i get extra for 2 extended breastfeedings (or intent to)?

Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 21:20

yeah cos spidermamam did

I shall change the wording now

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 27/01/2007 21:21

was wondering about that?

don't forget extra points for wool wraps (don't need to be washed), making your own liners, using and making washable wipes (with already mentioned hippy tea)

Spidermama · 27/01/2007 21:22

Lol sorky.

Filly my corkscrew hazel grew very rapidly on dd1's placenta.

I even have ... actually, no. I'm not going to mention that. It's too much. People may be eating and some would be horrified and offended even if they weren't eating.

Spidermama · 27/01/2007 21:22

Have I cheated. It was ambiguous. Do we get points for each child?

WideWebWitch · 27/01/2007 21:23

C'mon please, there've got to be some points for home birth, surely?

PinkTulips · 27/01/2007 21:25

do we get points for being too moronic to take pain relief during labour on moralistic grounds? (coz at some point there should be a damn plus side to that spectacularly insane decision!)

Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 21:26

10 points for ownership of rooboscihssadlj tea. - 0

10 points for each other obscure tea in house

10 points if you have ever cooked with millet

10 points if you have ever cooked anything you grew yourself

30 points for each placenta buried
5 for unfulfilled desire thereof

20 points for extended bfding or desire thereof (crap happens)

10 points if you know what BLW stands for. Add 20 if you have actually done it.

10 points for mooncup use and extra 15 if bought from franny

20 points if you have made a wnaky basket (NB for Newbies, that is what Cod calls a Treasure basket)

10 points if you carried your baby round in a sling past 6 weeks old

10 points if you favour natural fibres

10 points if you have ever bought organic baby clothes

20 points if you make your own anything (clothes/bread/wall hangings from pubic hair)

10 points if your children will eat quinoa

10 points for using washable STs

30 points for using menstrual stock to water the plants

75 points for a lotus birth

80 points for cooking the placenta ( 20 bonus points for getting non family members to eat it)*

30 points if you totally ignored the placenta to gaze upon the miracle of creation that was your baby

10 points if you are vegetarian (save for said placenta eating)

10 points if you subscribe to alternative eco/green/earth magazines

10 points if you belong to Greenpeace (and an extra 10 if you have been on a protest march }

20 points if you have been to Greenham Common

40 for any home educating credentials 0

25 for any other alternative education tendancies

15 for the belief that Natural is Best even in the face of all evidence

20 points for using washable nappies

20 points if you know the difference between a wrap and a liner

20 points if you know what your ecological footprint is

10 points if you own anything made of hemp

OP posts:
TooTicky · 27/01/2007 21:26

Spidermama, I am intrigued now...

Spidermama · 27/01/2007 21:29

There are LW untouchables though and they're out of our league.

How about an extra 50 for any of the following...(I don't qualify for any of these)

Observes a raw food ethic.
Enjoys the taste of wheatgrass.
Ditto spirulina.
Owns a geodome.
Can sit in a sweat lodge without giggling.
Chants regularly (again, without giggling).

Spidermama · 27/01/2007 21:29

What intrigues you TT?

PinkTulips · 27/01/2007 21:29

wow... an extra 120 points... which brings me to 410

Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 21:31

PSML

but we are going to the very heart of the bifurcation of LW s

are LW also crystal fondling tibetan chanters? Or are they not?

Perhaps there are 2 breeds of LWs

OP posts:
TooTicky · 27/01/2007 21:32

Okay, I think I have 365. But do I get more points for owning 2 pairs of hemp shoes?
And for making little pad things which I sewed into ds1's pants when he was potty-training and which I then took out and used as washable STs and which are still going strong after 6 years? And I made them from recycled materials.

Blandmum · 27/01/2007 21:32

Can I outline an Uber lentil weaver point.

My dh's step mother organised a sweat lodge 'red' party to mark her niece's onset of menstruation. Niece and mother danced together tied by a Red Cord. Everyone gave her red presents.

that has to be worth about 1000 points!

I'm my mother had done that for me i'd have died

TooTicky · 27/01/2007 21:33

"I even have ... actually, no. I'm not going to mention that. It's too much. People may be eating and some would be horrified and offended even if they weren't eating."
Do tell!

TooTicky · 27/01/2007 21:34

Mb, that is so cool/cringeworthy! I mean, in other cultures it would make perfect sense, but here it's rather odd.

TooTicky · 27/01/2007 21:35

I do admire the sentiment though!

QueenofQuinoa · 27/01/2007 21:36

I don't chant or any of that business. I don't look lentilly either. Oh except for long hair. I think long hair probably should get points. Plus co-sleeping, and not having a TV?

Blandmum · 27/01/2007 21:37

It was done on top of a mountain in california......and they are not Native Americans!

Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 21:38

oh yes, co sleeping, no tv, native american arrival of the moontime dancing, all good, I dunno, 10 points each?

OP posts:
Blandmum · 27/01/2007 21:40

Oh, but the red cord....dig that crazy symbolism man, must be worth more than 10 points!

Spidermama · 27/01/2007 21:40

Ok, Ok TooTicky. That's deeply humbing. (The recycling of the custom made potty training facility as a menstrual aid)

I thinking having an unassisted birth has to be worth a few. I was denied one by my well meaning dh.

Then I want points for this.
TMI alert for the non LW sypathisers in particular.
In miscarriage number two (which occured during the rugby world cup final which England won), I caught the pregnancy sac in a bowl. I put it in a jar in the fridge. Let the kids see it and poke it. Explained to them that they weren't going to have a brother or sister in the near future after all, then buried it in the garden and had a lone goodbye ceremony.

Is that too scarey?

Sorry.

I grew rhubarb and made rhubarb and ginger jam massive quantities.

SnafuOutOfHiding · 27/01/2007 21:40

God, I was really hoping it was in Dagenham, or somesuch, mb