Quootie's friends here please - new support thread

[beegeeWithBellsOn]

Hello Quootie - thought we should start a new thread.

Will be thinking about you tonight. Hope you can get some rest. Could you try having a bath or something? Can really help me to un-wind.

*diagnosis

I was being sarcastic, sorry. She brushed aside the feelings I was having. Like no way a teenager could ever regret having an abortion, or anything. The CBT man even said id done the right thing (only because of going to college) and he would advise his daughter the same. CAlled it a bunch of cells aswell

As if I could go "oh, thats alright then. Im ok now you've said that. Ive done the right thing, so I can totally get over it". And he said I had issues to address because I was telling him how I couldnt function... he said it wasn't really fair on my Dh (then DP) to be doing most the housework. I cant even begin to explain how I was back then. Im 100% sure I had a breakdown

Poor poor you, Quootie. People were probably trying to 'make you feel better' - but all they were really saying to you was - 'don't want you to be upset about your decision'...

It must've sounded like an insensitive platitude to you at the time

Each abortion case is different and should be treated as such xx

they were saying "you're 19, stop getting yourself up the duff and go get an education. That's £210 please".

That's an awful attitude - I hate that - is very age discriminatory, actually. Also assumes every woman ishould be career obsessed

yes, I know. I hate the age thing. I feel I have to doubley prove myself as a mum, and a person. I got pregnant 1/2 way through seeing that terrible duo - just lied and said I was taking the medication she recommended. I was so scared of being told off

Im sure if I was 30 id get treated so so much different.

quootie, just scanned this thread and would like to say that i'm horrified at the way you have been treated. what ever happened to medicine being the "caring profession"? can you still complain now?

Yes - being a young mother - almost like you have to prove yourself all the time, justify why you are a mum...and not a 'failure of life'.

I think it says a lot about the lack of respect mums have anyway.

I wouldn't dare

hey honey, have missed this but quickly read thread while dd in bath here.Hope you are better today?.x

It would be different if I had a career, then stopped it to become a mum. Same outcome really, except id have a few pieces of paper and a ton of student debt. My sister went to uni and all that, now works as some sort of admin. But she's so much better than a young married mother with her own home.

Thanks everyone who just pops in ~ it really does mean alot xXx

i agree, when people ask what i do, i always say "im just a mum" then i justify myself by explaining pnd etc. its so unfair

My mum wanted me to have 2 weeks off college after I had DS, then get a childminder (like we can afford that!) and go and BF during my breaks. Good job college booted me out really! And for mum being a midwife when she was younger... thinking DS would go longer than about 10 minutes between feeds! God forbid I should have another baby - one can be explained away as a mistake (not by me!) I was shocked and pleased when the midwife, on her last visit said "well, ill see you in about 2 years then!" (in a nice way).

I'm an 'older' mum - choose to have a career first...I suppose you would call it a high powered job,

When I meet my old work collegues they say (excitedly) 'so, what are you up to?' - when I say I'm a mum to two dcs they look disappointed and bored actually. Or they nod sympathetically!!

morning honey

Jut to say, i had a lot of contact with the mental health crisis team, the GP did not go over their heads..you need to try and get in touch with the guy who assessed you at A&E.. a GP is a general practitioner....whereas the chap you saw will be an expert in his field.......and he knows what you need.....the CPNs are fantastic and can see you at home...is there a psychiatric hospital near you..the crisis team are usually contactable there>

such a shame you had negative experiences with the therapy you had......it is not indicative of the profession as a whole.....

Good midwife, that They see motherhood as a respected choice!

im going to try and phone around this morning - hopefully someone will be at work today!

Ill find out that fella's name - even if he does private or anything...

Keep pressing as and when you can. I know it's difficult as your confidence isn't what it should be right now...but just keep going. It'll be worth it...

proud of you x

thankyou. Just trying to get the A & E guy somehow... see if I can go that route. GP closed, forgot it was Saturday... he said the counselling people anyway would be in contact week after Christmas, or week after New Year. If the hospital route doesn't work, Ill have to call the crisis team... im not in a crisis now, but, I really really can't keep going for days, let alone weeks before something is done. The only things that are keeping me going are the knowledge something (was) going to be done, which isnt the case now, and you guys. Ill run out of steam soon!

On the phone now. Honestly, they think that you can just put your illnesses aside until after Christmas.