Quootie's friends here please - new support thread

[beegeeWithBellsOn]

Hello Quootie - thought we should start a new thread.

Will be thinking about you tonight. Hope you can get some rest. Could you try having a bath or something? Can really help me to un-wind.

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didn't write a list... I couldn't. Found it too hard.

I felt she understood... as she said, shes not the specialist, but, she knew it wasnt "just" depression or anything.

baby steps? - you have been lurking on the FLYlady threads!

i have NOT!!!

so pleased that she 'got it', quootie. how are you feeling now?

That's twice you've been rumbled Aitch!

abit more positive Trying to concentrate on the positives anyway. Bit worried about the long wait, but, hopefully whatever medication im put on will help short term

I know you must want the treatment now Quootie but that really is good news - it means she's taking you seriously which is what you have needed all this time - well done for going! I hope the evening sessions will get you to that first 'proper' appt/asessment.

I've been thinking about you a lot over Christmas and spending time with my own family has made me remeber a few things. My situation is completely different to yours in so many ways and yet there are similarities too. I've suffered from awful migraines since my mid-teens - until I was 20/21 they were 2/3 a weeks, sometimes months would go by without a 'normal' day. My parents and doctor didn't 'believe' in migraines and told me I was causing my own pain and they thought it was psychosomatic and I was a hyperchondriac. Long story short but a lot of my depressive and self destructive behaviour was because I so needed someone to believe me and help me. I changed GP at the end of uni and she recognised my symptoms and now I'm almost 'normal and lose very few days each month to it but the biggest change for me was understanding that I didn't need my pain 'validating' by my mum and dad. It may sound strange but just receiving the diagnosis lifted a huge weight from me and I felt 100 times better - even if they hadn't been able to medicate me - because I knew it was 'real'. I don't know if I'm making any sense but the reason I'm telling you is that you get what I mean when I say that I hope this lady believing you and taking you seriously helps you to validate your own pain, know that it is real, someone else knows it's real and how serious it is and that togther you can work towards healing. I also hope it helps you come to terms with that you may not ever get that 'validation' (sorry, it's a sociology word but I can't think of a substitute) from DH or your mum but that that is OK and it doesn't make what your going through any less real.

Hope that's not too much waffle and you get the jist of wha I'm saying.

Can I ask what happened with DH & DS? I feel I missed something while I was gone. Don't need to go into it if you don't want to.

I get you. Yes, I needed validation. From being called a liar about my ex (that broke me) to the CBT guy calling my unborn baby a bunch of cells and brushing my grief under the carpet, ive felt theres been no one to say "oh, how awful for you. How do you feel , are you ok" etc. etc. No ones ever "thought" (?) about me. It was always DH needs space, (from MIL) etc etc. Its like by having an abortion, you'll just go on your merry way afterwards.

DH got drunk and I didnt realise, went to feed DS in bed, fell asleep and DS fell off the end of the bed

Sorry, bad typing DS bouncing on me

Can I just say that describing something as psychosomatic isn't necessarily invalidating it.

Psychosomatic diagnosis recognises the reality of the symptoms and the distress it just describes the source, i.e. emotional/mental as opposed to physical.

sorry, I really didnt get that...

It doesn't make sense does it? Sorry!

Anyway I just read what LC was saying about psychosomatic illness and thought it was worth mentioning that being ill in a psychosomatic way is no less valid than being ill ordinarily.

It's just the cause of the symptoms is different.

My DH left my 10 month old on the bed and he fell off too - he was fine too but it gave me such a fright, and DS - let's hope your DH learns his lesson.

While I'd say be realistic and don't expect it I do hope that all this will help your DH understand, and perhaps he will realise how much he needs to be sorry for and that he should support you. It does sound like he tries practically but that you need him emotionally more. Men don't always see that though and they think they are helping by doing the practical stuff - it's just his genetics. That women are from venus book is good for explaining all that, get yourself down to the library

I get what idontlikescrusts says, there's definitely such thing as psychosomatic illness and it's very real, but migraine is not psychosomatic and it was wrong of my doctor to suggest that I was only experiencing the pain because I was unhappy where actually it was the reverse. It's also one of those medical terms that has negative connotations - it has lost it's original meaning and has come to imply that the illness is 'imagined' and therefore not real.

I know what you mean about some illnesses being "imagined". Thats why I fear depression etc. is never really taken very seriously.

Shall go to library sometime this week

Q - just popping in for a look before sorting out washing etc - my life is sooooo exciting!
Glad you found it positive even tho you've got to wait.

Thanks fortyplus

Hello Quootie - back from my mini-hols...just caught up with thread and glad you're seeing someone actually do something for you ie - write letter to GP.

Please give ads a 'go'. They really helped me with my recovery from PTSD. I really didn't think they would, BTW. I'm the 'sort' who doesn't really take any meds for anything - had homebirth without pain relief hardly ever take even a paracetamol for a headache - always gone for the alternative approach (homeopathy/nutritional support/herbals/acupuncture etc) Just giving you all this background so you see what I'm saying really. I found it VERY hard to take ADs - big decision for me - but (and I know everyone is different) they made me feel calmer within a few days and by a month I was starting to feel like my old self. Then I felt stronger to cope with the root cause.

ADs gave me a little holiday away from anxiety which is such a bloody relief. I'm still on them now - 6 mths later - but I can feel myself getting stronger all the time.

{{hugs}}

WIll go to GP when letter arrives... so tomorrow or Friday. Ill definatly do whatever he says/take whatever he says. Ive got a pounding headache for some reason... must have got abit hot in the bedroom of something. It still hasnt gone! Am looking into alternative therapies aswell...

oh, hope you had a nice time by the way

Sorry - wasn't ignoring you! I got a nasty tummy bug so have been out of action for a few days. I'm soooo much better now. Phew! It hit me hard.

Wondering how you are?

Yes thanks - time away was great...good to have a change of scenery and the dcs loved it!

Doctors at 5.50, just waiting for the the water to heat (DH LOVES turning it off) to have a shower Just sitting here with a facepack on Ill update when I get back xXx